Where am I going wrong?

[Hanster85]

Hi everyone,

I am absolutely exhausted today, as my DD's sleep seems to be getting worse as she's getting older. A few weeks ago, she was only waking twice, but after jabs, possibly 4 month regression, etc etc - it's getting worse.

We worked hard to get her to self settle and now she does this easily. I also tried to break sleep associations, although she still wakes around 7 times for a feed. I think she is actually hungry! Last night, I settled her without a feed at 3am, she woke again at 4am, settled her without a feed again, she woke at 4.30am and fed her, she ate around 5oz and then slept until 7.30am - so it doesn't seem that she needs to be fed to sleep, but she does get hungry during the night still.

I just wondered if anyone had some good advice re routines etc, or if I'm going wrong anywhere. Currently her routine is:

6pm Bath, dry and pyjamas
6.15pm. Feed in dark room with baby light/music on.
6.25pm. Give her dummy and rock her until drowsy.
6.30pm. Put DD in crib (sleeps on sleepyhead) with blanket over her.

She can then wake between 4 & 7 times a night and there doesn't seem to be any consistency with this. When she wakes, she usually wants a good feed.

During the day, she has 3/4 naps every 1.5 hours - for 45 minutes.

Hoping that this will get better soon, as I am
Absolutely knackered! Thanks guys!

How old is she?

My baby woke 8-12 times a night from 4 to 8 months. I don't think its unusual, and she grew out if it without us doing anything. Now she's 9 months and sleeps 7:30-7:30 without wake ups or feeds.

That sounds really tough.

How old is she? I'm guessing about 5 months? All babies are different and it wouldn't be unusual to still need some feeds overnight. You might find that if you feed her at an earlier wake up she then would sleep a longer stretch....?

There's no age at which all babies suddenly don't need overnight feeds, so allow yourself to listen to your baby and your gut feeling, rather than someone (society?) telling you that she shouldn't be having night feeds anymore.

To help you manage the night feeds, could you nap with her once or twice a day? Sleep deprivation is the worst!

She's tiny, of course she's going to be hungry during the night. Try to sleep during the day when she does as much as possible. In terms of aiming for a routine, all I can say if the only consistent thing is change, so you might think you've nailed a routine and then it changes. Sarah Ockwell-Smith book outlines the biology of babies sleep clearly. But you'll still be sleep deprived. Take care x

Oh sorry! She will be 5 months old this week

Thank you for your responses. Part of my worry is that I am due to return to work in a few months and her still waking up at this level. Although I'm sure that won't be the case as before this regression, she was sleeping really well!

I agree, I think that as a first time mum- you follow all the advice to the letter and there is so much misinformation out there that causes more stress!

Out of my 7 NCT group, 3 of us went through the few month phase of a million wake ups a night, the others said their babies woke 1-3 times at that age. Just luck as to what your baby does sometimes!

Is she definitely tired at that time to go to bed, could you try putting her down a little later? Sounds so tough for you! Hoping it gets better 💐

Not a lot you can do about it really! My eldest woke every 90 minutes for a feed day and night till he was 7 months. He then switched to 3 hourly wake ups for the next 18 months.

Doing nothing different with DD who is 9 weeks and she is sleeping 8 hour stretch at night. Some babies are sleepers and some aren’t!

I'm sorry but they're all different, and there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason. My dgs6 sleeps like a log and always has done. He stays at my house happily and still sleeps. His sister aged 3 still wakes up and cries 3/4 times a night.

Every baby is different
My manager is back at work but still breast feeding every 2 hours during the night. Her baby is 12 months old.

You’re right in that they don’t need a feed every time they way. However if it’s been a while since they last had a bottle of course they’ll chug it down. Bit like we’re hungry for breakfast when we wake up.

The regression is a killer and usually they don’t need anything except help getting back to sleep.

When she wakes in the night does she properly wake up and cry? And is she in your room?

Once i moved my babies into their own rooms i was better able to ignore the normal stirrings and little noises during different phases of sleep and they would drift back to sleep again. I realised i was so worried about waking the whole house that i would get up the second my baby stirred rather than leaving him to settle himself again without me present.

Don't worry about work yet - babies change their habits so much in even just a few weeks. Try and focus on what you need to do now to get by, and don't worry about the next stage until you get there. Easier said than done, I know!