When will it get easier? I'm on my knees

[RoseWrites]

I have a wonderful 10 month old DD who I love and adore. She plays and smiles and laughs all day. But at night its another story. She can sleep well I.e. wake up once at night or go for 11 hours straight. But 95% of the time she wakes between 3 and 7 times. She cries and only wants me and milk. She goes berserk if my DH goes in or if I try to cuddle her and not feed her.
After getting up 5 times between 7pm and 2am I put her in bed with me. She latched on the entire time. I did get some sleep - I think I'm used to not being able to move an inch.
The rational part of me knows she is a tiny 10 month old baby. But the other part of me feels like I'm having a breakdown.
I dread the evenings as I have to feed her to sleep and be there when she wakes up.
I haven't had a night "off" since early December (and that was for a few drinks with my DH but was called back as she was crying and my MIL needed me to settle her).
During the day she is wonderful but hates to be put down or goes nuts if I walk out thr room even for a moment.
I feel like a total failure. I have created a baby who I can't leave and won't sleep. I don't know where I went wrong.
Do I do sleep training? Suck it up?
Currently locked in the bathroom crying (DD is with DH) as I can't cope with being touched or needed for a few minutes... i feel like a wreck.
Everyone tells me "it gets easier at 12 months". But they also said that about 6 months and it has just got harder and worse. I feel like I need to do something but I don't know what.
I was tempted to just turn the monitor off last night which makes me hate myself. I'd never hurt my baby or let her get upset. Any advice?

Time to sleep train! Try controlled crying. Your life will be very different in 3 days!

This was me, exactly. We did controlled crying at 11 months and as pp said 3 days later life was v different. We kept one feed in the night but made it a bottle and then dropped that at 18m and did controlled crying again, I wish we'd done that sooner to be honest. People are always impressed with how quickly DS goes down to bed and he now sleeps 11-12 hours and wakes up happy. We did give him a dummy when we dropped the night feed, it wasn't ideal but worked for him / us and he only has it for sleep.

We did the same as pp. I thought controlled crying was unspeakably cruel and would damage my baby forever. In hindsight, having parents who could barely function through lack of sleep was clearly likely to damage her (and is) more. I had to lock myself away and get dh to deal with the three nights it took - you need steely resolve. It will work and much more quickly than you can imagine. Afterwards is heaven - happier child and parents and you get some semblance of normal life back.

From what mother on her knees with exhaustion to another. I agree that sleep training is the way forward. However (stupid question coming up), is she having enough food/milk during the day? What's her day time sleep like? Personally I found with all of mine that if they didn't nap well in the day then they would sleep badly at night.

When my DD was 9 months I night weaned her. When she woke I would rock her to sleep (first time took 1.5 hours!) but NO milk. She cried at first but got the message very quickly. ( in about 2 days). Am so glad I did it, she would hardly wake up after that!

I’ve got an 8mo that gets up 3-4 times a night. It’s exhausting. We’ve night weaned the last three nights, he took to it so easily. He has still been waking up, a few tears the first night but never more than ten minutes. Last night three wakeups but no tears at all, just needed cuddling to sleep.

Our next step is teaching him to self soothe which should hopefully help him sleep better and make bedtime a bit easier.

We’ve agonised over it but really think it is the best way forward for all of us. Good luck if you decide the same!