Clingy baby - Am I doing something wrong?

[LJSY]

I have a 4 week old baby girl. During the first 2 weeks she was fantastic - Slept most of the day as they do and only getting up 2 times during the night for feeds. The last 2 weeks especially her 4th week, things seem to be getting a lot harder!
She’s now getting up around 3 sometimes 4 times a night for feeds which is fine as she’s breast fed; the problem is now she doesn’t like going back down. She goes fast asleep in my arms after a feed but fusses once back in the crib and often won’t sleep longer than an hour.
This is now the case in the daytime too, she will nap all day long on me/my husband or anyone who will cuddle her but as soon as she’s put down she cries. I’m not willing to let her cry for any longer than 5 minutes but i’m worried it’s all down to us nursing her too much :( everyone keeps saying enjoy it which I do but I’m worried i’ve created a bad habit already this early! It’s ok saying sleep when she does but she won’t be put down for naps!!!
I have hired a sling which is great as can now get some housework done: Does anyone have any tips or advice? Normal for 4 week old and will she settle? X

My DD is 6 weeks and I think this is pretty normal! Her sleep patterns will change a lot as she grows.
I reckon you can't spoil a baby with too many cuddles and at this age I dont think you can create bad habits but it's frustrating when they won't settle in their bed so you can get some sleep too! It's worth having a Google about the "fourth trimester" too, baby just wants to be close at this stage and everything about you is soothing to her.

I spent ages doing the same as you, settling DD and carefully putting her down in her basket only for her to wake up 20mins later! The advice I got was to let her settle on my or DH (or anyone who was a willing bed!) for about 20mins before putting her down, something about babies REM sleep taking a bit longer to kick in or something. So far it's worked quite well, especially at night, DD will now go down for 3ish hrs at a time.

Omg, she's 4 WEEKS OLD. It is not possible for her to "nurse too much." She should never be left to cry at this age. Whatever she needs, that's what you do. This is totally normal.

Welcome to motherhood! Totally normal and it will settle, she will go through periods like this all throughout her little life but esp in these first few years. Normally growth spurts or new sensations that are abit scary so she needs some comfort. Shes so so tiny, she has no ability yet to manipulate behaviour and you cannot spoil her in any way shape or form, she is communicating her needs to you in the only way she knows right now.

Saying that it's tough going, share the responsibility as much as you can, get fresh air, time away when you can even if it's in a different room, think about expressing a bottle to give you a break at night - you should be established BF now. It does get less suffocating but they are confusing little things at times (she says as her 20m old has been awake to 2hrs for god knows what reason )!!

Apparently some babies are just like that. Velcro babies. Look up safe cosleeping--it can be done, and you'll at least get some sleep that way. My DD wouldn't sleep alone till she was 9 months, then we did Ferber, now she's a happy little thing who toddles around quite independently.

(Last night she was dealing with a seven-hour jetlag and a night in a new place, so last night we were back to cosleeping. That sucked. Now she's asleep and it's 4am and I'm wired as hell and can't sleep. Yay)

I found a swaddle with lots of velcro helped to get her to sleep in a basket (sometimes). Lots and lots of velcro. Try that. Swaddling with a cloth was rubbish but the velcro was good.

You aren't going to spoil her at that age. You're doing fine. Lots of cuddles is good for her.

Thank you thats really reassuring advice :)

My LO wouldn't settle anywhere else but me or OH too and it was soooo tiring I was a walking zombie inhaling coffee most of the time!
I got a purflo nest and put it next to me in bed and he slept like a dream in that for the first couple of weeks, it was honestly the best £60 I've ever spent
But yeah totally normal at this tiny age hun

Read up on the 4th trimester. Baby doesn’t know she’s separate from you yet, so nursing, being held and your smell and heartbeat are massive comforts to her.

You CANNOT spoil a newborn. Dd was the clingiest baby ever, I don’t think I put her down for 8 weeks! Breastfed till 2.3 for all naps and sleeps, co-slept for a year. She’s now 2.6 and a confidant happy little thing at nursery and very independent.

It will get better. I found the best thing to do with a newborn is have no expectations. Babies change constantly, so you’ll think you’ve cracked something and they immediately decide they hate it and do something else. Just go with the flow and do what works for you and your dd.

Thanks again everyone X

As far as baby is concerned, you and her are still one and the same. She has had every single need met immediately while inside you. This 'fourth trimester' is a scary time of adjustment for her from everything she's ever known, and all babies will do it differently. She's not clingy, she's clinging on to a tiny piece of home.
The sling is a great idea and as her head control improves you'll find you can get anything done but shower. And slings are wonderful for shopping, cafes etc as you have two hands and no buggy to get in your way. And by starting now your muscles will adjust as she gets older and bigger. My firstborn hates the sling as she couldn't bare to be near the milk without having it! My second on the other hand is 17 months and at 4am last night was struggling to drop back off so asked for the sling so she could cuddle. It's a beautiful bonding tool.
Sorry that got a bit long!

Agree with all the above.
I'd add that she's probably waking more at night for feeding to boost your supply - prolactin levels are highest at night which contribute to milk supply stimulation.
Feed as much as she wants, hold her as much as you want/she wants, get the bed set up for sale bed sharing (see lullaby trust website for details), and I would also recommend a stretchy sling for daytime. See your local sling library to try some out.
You're doing a great job!!! I'm on week 8 and baby is exactly the same - I'm just embracing it!

Just roll with it. She won't be like it forever. My little one was exactly the same and now as a very independent 2yo I wish she needed me more!!