Is this considered a form of CIO?

[Chester1980]

My 6 month old will protest when I put her in her next to me cot.....for about 10-20 seconds and then she rolls around, plays with her teddy etc before going to sleep. Does the fact i’m not rocking her to sleep or feeding her to sleep now make me cruel? I’m totally not confident about anything I do.

She wakes up after a few hours in the evening and cries for about 20-30 seconds before going back to sleep. And then tends to wake at 10pm - at that point I go in and take her in the bed with me for the night where we do-sleep and she can latch on to get hearts content.

I have been out 3 times without her (no longer than 3 hours). Once she didn’t wake while I was away, twice she did and cried and cried. I feel awful for it.

I’m struggling with every decision I make, thinking it’s wrong and I’m messing her up :(

Obviously crying for 20-30 seconds is fine. People who have more than one obviously have to leave one child to tend to another. But I am more concerned about how anxious you seem. Have you thought about getting some help for it?
Btw I have never rocked any child to sleep. And I stopped feeding to sleep as early as I could. Both breastfed. One co slept.

Thank you for your message.

I second guess myself all the time about what kind of parent I am. Being told by in laws a lot I should be doing things a certain way (she should be in her own cot, that I’m spoiling her by picking her up when she cries). Being told she must be starving at night because she was exclusively breastfed. All things making me feel I’m doing it all wrong.

I don’t feel anxious as such, just not confident in what I do. I haven’t asked for help with it as I don’t feel it’s a PND thing - I don’t feel low. Tired - very.

I absolutely know that feeling of second guessing everything!

But no what you are doing is great and it is fantastic that your LO goes to sleep like this. The crying is completely normal. She isnt distressed. She will barely even be registering it.

I found myself overwhelmed by these feelings- tho nine was triggered by forums like this rather than people. I went cold turkey for a bit, tuned into my baby again and felt better.
What is your relationship with them like? Can you have an honest conversation and tell them how they are making you feel? Could your DH? If not could you see them less, just for a bit until you feel a bit braver?

I have found smiling and nodding very useful.

Crying for 30 seconds before going to sleep is perfectly normal and is often part of the going to sleep process! It sounds like you are doing a really good job.