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Original poster

Sleep Consultants

19 replies

flowerstar19 · 15/05/2019 21:13

I know this topic has been covered a lot but I would be so grateful for up to date recommendations! I think the time has come to get some help for my sanity...

DS2 is 18 months and has only ever slept terribly, though got worse at 4 months, his longest sleep ever is 6 hours, he wakes repeatedly and ends up co-sleeping halfway through the night. He is teething but then always seems to be! I am still breastfeeding him to sleep, which is such a bad habit to try and break without distressing him, which I hate to do!
I managed to get him to fall asleep on his own, I was on his bedroom floor, for 3 nights in a row in February but sadly I didn't carry on.

If anyone has any tips to help or can recommend a sleep consultant that's not too expensive I will be very very grateful!! I cannot carry on like this forever!

OP posts:
Jennyfirsttimemum · 16/05/2019 09:00

What are the day naps like? I'm also breastfeeding to sleep and will continue to do so...as long as they are getting sufficient milk through the day it's perfectly natural and normal thing to do.

How heavy is your little one?

I find if mine gets a lot of tummy time (she is 9 months) and time in Jolly Jumper...she sleeps better.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 16/05/2019 14:41

Lol at tummy time for an 18 month old. Surely a 9 month old is also a bit past that?!

OP, we used Andrea Grace - we thought she was very good, but quite expensive. If you google her you can see the prices.

MummyBear2352 · 16/05/2019 20:33

I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it with your LO sleep routine. Sleep deprivation is so draining are you able to get any rest during the day? Do you have good family or friends support around you? Please be kind to yourself you have done an amazing job breastfeeding your LO to this age. Breastfeeding can be intense at times. Often breastfeeding and co sleeping go hand in hand for most families.

From what you are describing It does sound like he is seeking you out for that comfort feed to settle to sleep. It is very positive he is able to fall asleep initially on his own. So we know he can do it. I am just wondering what is your breastfeeding routine like during the day? Do you have set times or offer the breast on demand? It might be worth just making his daytime feeds structured. For his age he doesn't nutrient wise he doesn't need night time feeds any more.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 16/05/2019 20:35

Perhaps need to ask on your local FB group or similar for a sleep consultant?

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 16/05/2019 20:47

I'm not sure if its the same where you live OP, but round here I've seen loads of people advertisting on FB as Sleep Consultants after doing what looks like some cheap course. Only other qualifications seem to be that they are a mum too. I'd try and get someone with a lot of childcare experience or a midwife background.
I recon you could figure it out on your own though, without paying a sleep consultant. My theory is at some point you get to the 'enoughs enough' frame of mind and then you are more committed to sticking with being strict for a few nights until they get the hang of a new routine. You said yourself you did it for 3 nights previously and then cracked, this time just keep going

Hospitaldramafamily · 16/05/2019 22:20

I'm three weeks into a very gentle but very effective package with a really reasonable sleep consultant. I'm still breastfeeding but now down to 2 feeds a day and don't have my son latched on for almost the whole night which I was still doing 4 wks ago. He had bad reflux for months so I couldn't do any form of CIO or controlled crying - couldn't cause him any more distress. This lady is amazing. Her name is Mairéad O'Halloran. She's based in Ireland but has overseas clients: www.facebook.com/mermerssleep/

I previously tried a sleep consultant in NZ based on a recommendation from a reflux group and her approach didn't work for us at all

Original poster
flowerstar19 · 16/05/2019 23:11

Thank you all so much for all your ideas, support and recommendations which I will definitely check out!

To answer a few questions: he usually has one daytime nap which is his only daytime feed, probably about 2 hours on average, ironically sometimes I have to wake him! I used to feed on demand in the day but now just that one feed.

Little one is not so little, he's about 2 stone! Not sure in KG, but heavy, I tried to rock him to sleep recently and gave up after 30 seconds!

Definitely agree with the 'enough's enough' point, think I am pretty much there. Sadly not really any rest time in the day as DS1 is here most of the time too, although he does go to preschool part of the week but has been ill and missed a lot recently! Family & friends are all wonderful, but not really able/close enough to help much. DH is pretty good though!

Ironically after posting this yesterday, DS had a great night, by his terrible standards! Fingers crossed for tonight!

OP posts:
Jennyfirsttimemum · 17/05/2019 05:41

Oops meant 9 week old. Sorry for the confusion

TheFatberg · 17/05/2019 05:46

Jennyfirsttimemum then your advice is even less relevant!

Jennyfirsttimemum · 17/05/2019 07:59

Just made a mistake. No need to be so rude

Raaaaaah · 17/05/2019 08:05

I’d highly recommend Nicola Watson. Straightforward, approachable and sorted our situation out. This was for our third child. We also used an extremely expensive sleep consultant for same child Confused and she was nowhere near as good. Get it sorted. You don’t have to suffer this. Our DD was almost immediately a happier version of herself. Flowers

LoafofSellotape · 17/05/2019 08:11

Whatever you did to get him to sleep for 3 nights before,so again and stick to it. The sleep consultant won't do anything magic I bet, they'll just help you be consistent.

Mississippilessly · 17/05/2019 09:55

Someone very clever on here said that a sleep consultant is like a personal trainer. They arent going to give you any secret tricks but they will give you a plan and will help you stick to it.
We are two weeks in with The Little Sleep Coach. Very very gentle approach but we are already up to 7 hour stretches in his own bed which is a huge huge improvement. She is very patient and i thought pretty reasonable. And I agree that DS seems happier in himself for the change.

Just need to get rid of the dummy...

Darkstar4855 · 17/05/2019 10:35

@Jennyfirsttimemum sorry you are getting such a hard time here just for trying to be helpful.

OP is your son waking for milk at night? Do you have a partner who can help? If so could they go into him at night some of the time and offer water if he is thirsty? If you can gradually reduce the amount of boob time/milk he is getting at night until he’s not having any milk at all it might help encourage him to go straight back to sleep when he wakes in the night.

Jennyfirsttimemum · 17/05/2019 13:23

Thank you darkstar. I'm a first time mum and I'm just trying to find my way too.

TheFatberg · 17/05/2019 13:37

Jennyfirsttimemum sorry if it seemed as though I was having a go but as you'll realise, a toddler and a tiny newborn are very different beasts. What works for your little baby won't work for a toddler.

Congratulations on your little one, and I do apologise if you felt overly criticsed.

Original poster
flowerstar19 · 17/05/2019 19:13

Thanks again all, much useful info here. Very true about being consistent, J just find it hard to give him the time it needs to work on him falling asleep without feeding and trying to get DS1 down too! DH will is loads of stories with DS1 but he waits for him for one more! Then I start worrying he will he tired for preschool the next day!

When my DH goes to our toddler in the night, he cries so much, within a few minutes he is often sick, makes me feel awful! Will definitely look into all the sleep consultants recommends but in the meantime it is true I need to try again, the three nights went well, first two were actually really easy, third one was harder and then we had some bad news about a family member and I just didn't have the energy to try! But I must, he is the most lovely, relaxed toddler in the day, thankfully!

OP posts:
Hollowvictory · 17/05/2019 19:15

Only one feed during the day? 😳

Darkstar4855 · 18/05/2019 10:02

@hollowvictory what’s wrong with that? He is 18m so well established on solids!

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