Never ending cycle

[modgepodge]

Hi everyone. My daughter is 2 and a half weeks old and I’m really struggling with night feeds. Of course, I knew she’d be up more than once in the night for feeds. However, I’m really struggling with both how often and how long she’s up for.

My main issue is that she feeds for a little while - sometimes literally 2 or 3 minutes - then falls asleep. I attempt to keep her awake but it’s almost impossible. So I take her off the breast. If I leave her on my lap/chest , or even burp her, she will stay asleep, at least a while. But if I attempt to settle her in her Moses basket, she wakes and wants more food. This cycle continues so that getting a 20-25 minute feed in to her can take an hour and a half to 2 hours.

Eventually she will settle, I’ll take her upstairs and go to sleep myself...then 60-90 mins later it all starts again. Between 11pm and 7am I am up 3 or 4 times, each time for well over an hour, I do express so my husband usually does one of these times.

Is this normal??? During the day, she feeds for a longer time, then settles to sleep for a couple of hours. She does prefer to sleep on us in the day, but sleeps fine in her basket too. She sleeps almost all the time that she isn’t feeding at the moment,

Any suggestions to help me get more sleep?? I’ve always been someone who needs a lot and right now I’m struggling big time. I’m getting really cross and frustrated with her at night (not that I’m showing it) and spend a good period of each feed crying and then I feel bad cos I think this isn’t her fault.

Honestly don't beat yourself up at all. It is hard having a newborn!! I'm ebf this time round and it is harder as I'm responsible for all the night waking (thankfully I'm lucky in that I run pretty well on minimal sleep!!) Try and stay as calm as you can, as baby will pick up on stress. Easier said than done I know. It sounds like she's cluster feeding to build up supply, and a bit of comfort in there too!! A dummy may help with this! My LO still cluster feeds a bit at almost 12 weeks. But normally in the evening through till around 9pm.

For now can you Express enough so partner could do say every other night? And you sleep in another room to catch up. Or nap when she does in the day.

I found my LO really needed differential day and night as they don't know the difference so young. So in the evening we stayed downstairs in a dimmer room but with the TV and everything at normal level. Then when we go to bed, TV on a lower volume and no other light. It really helped her settle. She still wakes a couple of times but feeds are far quicker. Have you also tried cosleeping? It's not for everyone but I found learning to bf eith her in bed with me meant we both just fell asleep safely while she fed. May be an option?

Thanks for your reply. Yes I keep night as dark as possible and quiet, daytime bright.

Literally yesterday I tried cosleeping for a nap - hubby was supposed to be having her so I could sleep but ran out of milk, brought her to me and she did t even feed just slept on me!! So I put her on the bed next to me...she slept fine but even following all the safety guidance it doesn’t feel safe to me....I’m terrified of crushing her or that she’ll somehow fall off the bed. I drifted off but it wasn’t a deep sleep - my concern is I’ll only sleep properly like this when I’m exhausted which is when you’re not supposed to do it!

Tried a dummy - sometimes she will take it, mostly not, and never when I’m trying to get her to sleep.

I think it’s just the relentlessness of it all that’s getting to me...if I knew this would only last a week or two I could handle it but the thought she could do this for years makes me panic!!!!

Hang in there!!!

I could have written this post myself 7months ago about my daughter.

Cluster feeding in newborns is pretty common as is falling asleep on the boob!!
I tickle my daughter or just wiggles her arm and it seemed to wake her ...and then she would continue...

I too used to think "when is this going to end?...this is hell"

Trust me when I say it does get easier. You'll find she'll stop falling asleep so much and before you know it - it will be like second nature - jumping on for a feed and back to playing with their toys! Exactly what my 8 month old does now! No falling asleep for her! She also began sleeping really well at night from about 3 months.

Hang in there!! You're doing an awesome job.

Co sleep.

That's my advice. It's a doddle compared to what you're doing now.

Forgot to say a next to you style crib is great as well. Even if she ends up with me even if she wiggles she just wiggles into her crib!

Just wanted to say thanks for all the replies. Since I posted I have had 2 quite good nights (discovered if I go to bed early and leave hubby up with her for another 2 hours or so with expressed milk, when I have to get up around 12/1/2 I’m in a far better mood having had 2 or 3 hours sleep first!!) one night I only had to get up once! Though hubby did randomly stay up til 2am with her that day...

Tonight we are all in one hotel room. I sense no one will be getting much sleep!!!

Hopefully this will pass...feeling a little less hopeless than I was when I originally posted.