How to get baby to nap without feeding/rocking/cuddling

[1Wanda1]

DD is 11 weeks old and EBF by me. DW and I are both keen to introduce some sort of routine/structure to her day (and night) but disagree about how to do this and it's starting to get me down.

Published routines all say a baby this age should be ready to nap after 2 hours awake. DD never is. She just cries if I try to put her down then and doesn't go to sleep no matter how much patting and shushing I do. Even after 3 hours she will usually only go to sleep on the boob or - at best - with cuddles or in pram. I don't want to give her those sleep associations but nor do I want an overtired baby at the end of the day, and I feel she's too young to leave full-on crying until she eventually conks out.

How do you get a baby this age to nap?

My DS is like this too, he's 12wk today. He properly was fighting naps...already has FOMO! I'd reckon that she's already overtired at that 2hr mark, which is why she's crying and not going down.

I'd suggest trying to get her ready for a nap with an abbreviated bedtime routine (swaddle/sleeping bag, read a story, etc) and try rocking/shushing to sleep after about 1:45 of awake time.

DS will only nap on me or in the pram, if we're out walking, but this has helped him to at least get some naps.

I have 3DC, youngest is 18 months. I am of the opinion that at 12 weeks they are too young to be doing it themselves. Yes, some babies do, my youngest would sometimes settle herself around this ago, but I wouldn't leave her crying for any time on the occasions that she wouldn't. Babies need comfort and loving and you're not going to do any harm in giving them a cuddle or a rock to help them sleep. At this age, it more important that they do sleep, not how they get to sleep. All of mine went through stages of needing to be rocked in our arms or in the pram for a while to help them sleep. I now have 3 excellent sleepers, no harm done. Good luck 🤞

Amandanicole, I don't think she is overtired already after less than 2 hours awake, because she's quite happy and relaxed before I start trying to get her to nap at that point - it's only once I put her in her cot/crib that she starts wailing. Before that, she's fine in her bouncer or whatever, but after I try to start "nap time", she gets quite upset. At other times of day, when she is tired, she gives sleepy signs like little cries and rubbing her eyes.

Skisunsnow, I think my natural inclination is to agree with you. I have older DC and I nearly sent myself round the twist trying to get them into a routine. Gina Ford was the thing then, and I basically rendered myself housebound for weeks trying to follow her routine, which just assumed that all babies would be ready for a morning nap at 8.30 having woken at 7am, but didn't tell you what to do if you got to 10am without your baby having napped at all, and baby was then ready for a nap at 10.

This morning I couldn't get DD to sleep till 10, and then only by lying down beside her. She woke and cried every time I moved her into her cot, so the whole nap was beside me in the end. She slept for 1hr 45mins. Now she won't want a lunchtime nap.

With mine, by the time we get to sleepy cues like rubbing eyes they're already too overtired to go easily to sleep. 90 mins max awake time till about 5months iirc.

Here for solidarity! Mine is 13 weeks and has only just started to go 1.5 hours awake time and I can just about get her to sleep with a semi struggle (albeit starts on my shoulder and then do the cot transfer). 2 hours awake and she would be bonkers so I can't go by what any books etc say. We want to start self settling too but I agree they are too young, 16 weeks+ I heard is o.k? We have just started introducing a dummy, which I swore I wouldn't do, but now she will take it and starts to get sleepy in my arms. Over time we are hoping we can give her the dummy and put her straight down in her cot and see if she goes to sleep. Might be worth a shot for you? My ongoing problem is she will.not.nap more than 30 mins! Unless she's in the sling on a walk in which case I can get 2 hours out of her, so I time the dog walk around the afternoon and take her out. I've flat out stopped listening to my husband on sleep advice 😂

Totally normal to need help to nap at this age. They spent first 9 months of their existence in you, constantly moving, hearing noise, warm etc. Completely natural to need associations of white noise, movement etc to sleep.

Swaddle and dummy, the most heavenly combination.