Help for a co-sleeper please

[whowhowh]

DS is 16 months old. We have been co-sleeping since around 6 months. Co-sleeping has always worked reasonably well for us, although we still have at least one night waking and also 4-5am starts every day.

However over the last few weeks DS has been really difficult to get to sleep. Our bedtime routine is: bath, pyjamas, bottle down stairs, book, bed. One of us would lie down in bed with him and he'd wriggle about for a few mins, then drop off to sleep. We've always just ignored there wriggling around and he's usually nodded off within 10 mins.

However, he now mucks about for sometimes over an hour, standing up, jumping up and and down hold the head board, climbing over us to try and get off the bed etc. We have been trying to ignore this thinking it was a phase but after weeks of this, it obviously isn't.

We have a cot which we sometimes put him in while we get dressed etc, so we tried putting him in there thinking he would carry on mucking about but at least we could quietly leave the room so he wasn't getting attention from being silly. The moment I left he became hysterical, I tried to calm him down but he just got so upset. So I picked him up and he fell straight to sleep.

We're now really stuck as he gets hysterical if we try to put him in his cot at all. He keeps mucking around on our bed, but obviously it's not safe for us to leave him on an adult bed alone - I just don't know what to do. I really don't want to leave him to cry in the cot as this feels like such a big change in one go which wouldn't be fair considering he's slept in with us as long as he can remember. However, I think if we carry on as we are we are creating some really bad habits in terms of falling asleep etc. He looks so tired some times, which makes me feel awful.

Is this a phase? Can anyone suggest anything to help us move forward?

Anyone ?

Fellow co-sleeper here! My little one did exactly the same around that age. We just kept lying him down. Every time he stands / sits up. He will cry/fuss/fidget but keep laying him back down and don't engage too much - some shushing and back rubs to soothe if needed but not much more. It does take some time but it makes the point without being too harsh. He now knows bed time isn't play time and although he will sometimes start being silly, he is usually quite good at lying down and going to sleep again.

How many naps is he having now? Reducing or moving further from bedtime may help? Behaviour sounds like a fairly typical sleep regression though... we had them up to 2yrs!

If it helps for adult bed I bought ‘the shrunks’ Inflatable bed guard on Amazon for travelling. It’s amazing, totally worth the £20. Might be an option to toddler proof the big bed if you wanted to?

Also-if you want to work on him being in cot I’d get a few good nights sleep under your belts first whatever it takes! Not fair to try and ‘train’ when he’s sleep deprived

Thank you for your replies

Glad to hear this passed for your little one Katniss - gives me hope! We try not to engage, but he's crafty and has learnt to do this that we can't ignore like trying to crawl off the bed or blowing raspberries on our faces!

More - I have never heard of these bumpers but I've just looked them up and they look great!

He's usually having one long nap a day of 1.5-2hrs at around 9-30-10am. He always wakes up early usually around 5-5:30am, is worn out come 9am. Occasionally he'll want an afternoon nap, but we keep that short and not after 3pm. To be honest, he seems exhausted by his dinner time most days (4:45pm) - but then gets this second wind which sometimes keeps him awake until gone 8pm.

He's never slept well, even now day time naps mostly need to be in the pram. He very occasionally falls asleep cuddled up with us on the sofa, but it's once in a blue moon.

I guess the difference now is that he always used to go off quite easily in the evening as he was just so tired. Now it's a whole different ball game!

I am reluctant to sleep train really. He was clingy for days after I put him in his cot and left the room. I do worry about his sleep, some nights he's getting as little as 9 hours sleep which clearly isn't enough.

My DS was exactly the same, I drove myself to distraction but some do just need much less sleep. I agree with you on the sleep training-we had some sort of magic thing happen around 2 and nights became so much better. He’s always been a 4/5am starter too but we had more magic recently with 3rd bday plus clock change and he’s now sleeping 7.30-5.30 and even 6.30 some mornings. Dropped nap at 2 yrs 9 months and bedtimes became a total dream but he wasn’t ready to drop nap before then.

You could try earlier bedtime? 6.30 maybe? I would just hang in there and follow your instincts. It really won’t last forever

Sorry Move - missed your reply. That's v reassuring to hear your DS' sleep has settled! I keep telling myself it's just a phase, he'll sleep eventually- but it's hard to remember in the midst of it.

His bedtime always was 6:30-6:45 and he used to be sound asleep by 7. But just lately he's mucking around so much he doesn't actually sleep until nearer 8. Yesterday his nap was delayed until 11:45 which is v late for him (daddy was in charge for the morning and lost track of time!!). He slept for a little over an hour, seemed tired in the afternoon, but went to sleep like an angel within 10 mins!

Sounds like things might be back on track. If not, have you considered a mattress on the floor. Then you can safely ignore all silliness and even let him play until he is ready for sleep. Meanwhile you could read a book or something while you wait. This is what I do when necessary.