Early wakings...exhausted

[Rachel1210]

My LO is 5.5 months old and wakes at 5.30am every day - really struggling as I’m exhausted.

He goes down to sleep for 7, dream feed at 10.30 then wakes for a feed at 2.30. He’s then up at 5.30am and there’s no resettling him.

His room is pitch dark, white noise and the heating comes on in the early hours so he’s not cold. He’s also not hungry as he takes big feeds at 10.30 and 2.30. His day time naps total about 4 hours over 3 naps. He was napping more but I now wake him after one hour from his first nap. He then has a 2 hour nap over lunch time and another - hour nap before bed around 3pm.

Do you think trying to delay the 2.30 feed would help? I’d love to cut it out all together because If he slept from his dream feed to 5.30 it would be easier but that 2.30 wake is a killer and by the time I’ve fed him etc it takes me a while to fall asleep. I’m so so exhausted. His nappy is wet when he wakes - probably because he takes so much milk at night! I could do a nappy change for one of the feeds? Help!

In my experience (two kids that hated sleeping past 5:30) he's having slightly too much sleep during the day.
Generally by 6 months I had to get militant with our routine as the early wakings were killing me, I'd expect 30-45 mins two hours after waking and a long sleep over lunch (3 hrs after waking from the morning nap.

Eg.
7am wake
9am sleep 30/45 mins
9:30/45 wake
12-2 sleep
6-6:30 bed
No sleep after 3pm so he has 4-4:30hrs awake before bed.

The morning nap will start to get a little later over the next few months (9:30-10 and will need to be reduced/dropped at some point, I started when the early waking started again) and bed time will get later as he can naturally cope with more awake time. I work off 7-7 because that gives me a bit of an evening but it'll work for any wake/bed times as long as you roughly follow 2/3/4 (or 2/3.5/4.5).

Today give him a tiny power nap two hrs after waking - strictly no longer than 10 mins and then aim to put him down for his morning nap at 9/930.

No advice from me, I’m just here for some solidarity
Both of my DCs have become early morning monsters. They are almost 4 and 2.5, and they both insist on getting up between 5:30 and 5:45. The oldest one has a groclock which is consistently ignored, and she wakes the younger one every fucking day. I’m pregnant with DC3 and feel like I could sleep for a year

He's going to bed early so no wonder he wakes early. I'd shift his whole routine an hour later as if the clocks had changed so he's sleeping 8pm-6.30am.

I would say learn to embrace early mornings.
My dc#3 has always been an early waker. Got me up at 5.45 today so that was a bit of a lie in!
He's nearly 3 years old.
In my experience they are either a early waker or not, and not a lot can change that.

What do you do between 7-10.30? I’d suggest going to bed (even if only a couple of times a week) yourself would be the best way to tackle it!

Way too much napping during the day. Gina Ford says that, at that age, baby should have 2 1/2 to 2 3/4hours of sleep during the day. 4 hours is loads.

Yes I did wonder if he was napping too much in the day. Problem is he’s a very active little boy and he gets tired so quickly. Yesterday was the first day I reduced his naps and by the afternoon he was screaming with tiredness! I worry that he’ll get over tired and then not sleep...so perhaps today I should try reducing his morning and late afternoon nap to 45 mins and keep the 2 hour lunch nap? Then perhaps gradually reduce his day time sleep each day?

Yes, make any changes 5 minutes a time, reduce sleep and shift schedules gradually. Good luck!

I would shift his bedtime a bit later. Mine was going to bed at 7 and waking at 5.30am. We shifted it to 8-6.30 instead and I go to bed around 9.30pm. I don’t do a dreamfeed and more than half the time we have one feed overnight at around 2.30am so I can get a good chunk of sleep either side of that. He’s 4.5 months and has about 3.5 hours of naps in the day.

I'd change the nappy after every feed

So I’ve reduced his naps today from 4 hours to 3.5 hours and he’s so grizzly....I hope he isn’t overtired which means he won’t sleep!

So since I’ve reduced his naps he’s actually been waking earlier...first morning it was 5.15 and this morning was 5...absolutely no resettling him. He’s also extremely grizzly and tired in the day as he’s not having his usual length of naps. Any suggestions? Shall I persevere with cutting his naps or revert back to allowing him his usual naps? So exhausted as he’s still feeding 10.30 and 2.30....

I’ve also been giving him a 10 minute nap 2 hours after waking otherwise his naps are allmfar too early

I definitely wouldn’t cut his daytime naps, if he’s sleeping that much and miserable without he needs it. I’d go to bed earlier myself and treat every early morning wake up as a night wake and persist with resettling.

I would just adjust your own routine to go to bed earlier so you still get enough sleep so that 5:30 doesn't seem too early! My third dd is the same age as yours. All of my dc have gone through phases of waking up at 5:30, it's easier to adapt your routine to the baby's rather than the other way around! Hopefully it's just a phase your baby will grow out of.

Solidarity here! 9 month old DD keeps waking at 5.30, but she is only getting an hour and a half of sleep during the day. I've tried moving her bedtime later, but she struggles with that as she isn't getting much day sleep (I've tried everything to get her to have more, but absolutely nothing works). @hiphopapotamuses a 2 hour nap at lunch is amazing! My DD hasn't slept for 2 hours during the day since she was 16 weeks. She just won't do it, no matter how hard I try.
She also keeps waking with a dirty nappy, so I do wonder if that has something to do with it.

DS did this to us for just over 3 years. Nothing worked. Just plod on through it.

A ten minute nap? What?! That's not a nap and not a complete sleep cycle. Any baby would be massively grumpy being woken after ten minutes.

You need to be working towards one daytime nap and trying to limit afternoon sleep. It will take time for him to get used to it, but to be honest he sounds like some kind of napping robot! He obviously settles well and enjoys his sleep so you're going to have to do it gradually but all that day time sleep is a bit bonkers at that age.

And when I say an hour and a half of day naps, that's at the absolute most! Some days it's 45 mins! On those days she can barely feed she's so exhausted.

So many conflicting pieces of advice! Some people say to limit the day time sleep - others say go with what he wants...I may persist with a 45 min morning nap, 2 hours over lunch and then a half hour in the afternoon. Think I’ll atruggle to get anything less than that! Also he woke at 5 today and I did crack and give him his dummy...we had successfully weaned him off it but after just over an hour he’s resettled and is currently still sleeping. Perhaps I could get him used to sleeping a bit later and the re-tackle the dummy?

I would say absolutely let him have the dummy if it comforts him and helps him sleep! He's still so small, there's plenty of time to wean him off his comforts when he's older.

@Flatwhite32 I basically had to resort sleep training, I don't like cry it out so it was a long arduous process. With my first I drove her around in the car (the only place she'd sleep) for two hours so established the routine that way, then began to settle her in her cot, (pitch black room, white noise) she'd wake after 45 mins, I'd leave her for 5 mins (unless she was hysterical where I'd go in immediately) and settle with shhhing and patting her bum - that did not work at first so I'd feed her and settle her then put her back down. If lucky I'd get another 45 mins. Initially we had to abandon the nap after the first 45 mins and I'd put her down 1.5 hrs later for another 45 mins. With perseverance (about 8 weeks) it all came together and she started to link her sleep cycles - and once we nailed the day sleep she started to sleep through the night. When the second baby came along I just set this out from birth and didn't feed to sleep.
Re waking up with a dirty nappy, when are you feeding in relation to her sleep?
I agree with PP that you either get sleepers or not and think I've been lucky that mine responded to this routine.

@hiphopapotamuses thankfully she sleeps through the night, so I can't complain there! She doesn't feed to sleep and is able to self settle, so we do have a lot of 'good' habits in place. She has a bedtime bottle around 6.15ish. She goes to sleep pretty much straight away around 6.30/6.45pm, as she's so exhausted from not sleeping much in the day.
It's her lunchtime nap I'm struggling with. She usually sleeps for 30-45 mins, but won't go down again afterwards, then that'll be it until bedtime, as she then won't go down later in the day. Sshh pat doesn't work anymore, and leaving her just results in cot gymnastics! The other day I left her, and she spent half an hour rolling around her cot doing acrobatics! White noise used to help her resettle, but it has stopped working. The lack of day sleep is starting to affect her milk intake at times, as she is sometimes too exhausted to feed properly, yet she still won't give in to extended day sleep. She also won't sleep in the car for longer than 30 mins, and won't sleep in the pushchair for longer than 15, so they aren't options either. It's strange, as at night she can clearly connect sleep cycles for over ten hours, but can't do it during the day. I know I shouldn't complain, and I'm very lucky she sleeps through (albeit waking at 5.30!), but the lack of day sleep does bother her, and it bothers me when her feeding is affected (she's 9th percentile!).

Maybe if she's not hysterical just leave her to do her cot gymnastics? Mine used to get bored and take herself back off to sleep. Obviously if she's upset then comfort her but leave her as long as you can? It's essentially a habit to break I guess?