Replies to the question 'does your baby sleep through yet'

[ratfly]

Ok, so we wouldnt be in this topic if we didnt have problems with our dc's sleeping.
And other threads have pointed out how annoying it is to have people expect your dc to be sleeping through by x age.
Inspired by puffylovetts thread about her 4 month old, what possible replies are there to the question 'does your baby sleep through yet?' that will make the asker go away and feel inadequate?

the hairybabysmum suggested saying no, but he is starting to crawl (or any other preposterous milestone)

bookthief suggested poking them with a sharp stick until they go away

I thought of saying, no but dh does all the night shifts

Any other ways of turning them from smug mum to feeling inadequate mum (cos I am fed up of feeling like the inadequate mum!)

cry

I normally say something along the lines of 'not quite but she's doing really well' and change the subject.

No, but I find the best bit of having a baby is snuggling in for a feed in the wee small hours when it feels like the rest of the world is asleep and it's just me and my gorgeous dc.

No, but I'm sure (s)he'll make up for it when they're a teenager.

No, but I don't think my baby's a slightly inconvenient "must-have" fashion accessory.

Like your one about a nice snuggle 2happyrotter.

I have no gems to pass on. Got very fed up with this question when DS was a baby though(eventually slept through at 10 months). Wanted to poke in the eye all the smug women at the baby clinic I went to telling me that their little one was sleeping through the night and had been since 6 weeks.

Hmm, it's like that turd of a question, "Is he good?" which I have probably, stupidly, asked myself (pre-ds) but is just so rubbish. As though a baby can be bad!

What sleep problems does dc have?

But what is so good about them "sleeping through"? apart from the obvious lack of disturbance to your own sleep which is all part and parcel of the "fun"...

When someone at my NCT group tells how their 12-week (or younger) LO sleeps through the night, I just tell them the truth... that so did DS until 13 weeks, and now he's up 7+ times every single night. The look of terror that passes across their face gives me a certain guilty pleasure

"No,why?wouldyou like some pro-plus?" whilst you rake frantically around handbag

lol meg!
and 2happyrotter - love the snuggling bit! It is true though!

I think it's a good one to make them slink off feeling inadequate! My boss once described the first weeks similarly - he said it was like when it snows; the world still exists but it's muffled and distant somehow. I think night times stay that way, just you and the bubs (and the cocktail sticks propping up your eyelids!).

Ooh Meg, that's a killer! Totally dodge the question by filling them with the feeeeeeear .

So, the way to go is as follows:

"Is he sleeping through yet?"
"oh is your dd? How old is she"
"16 weeks"

"Ooh, tricky age. My friend's dd was sleeping through until that age but she suddenly started teething and woke 6 times a night until she was 5"
"5 months?"

"No, 5 years. Oh look, your dd is chewing her hands and dribbling."

No, but I did find giving him a couple of shots of whiskey did the trick..

No-one ever asked me this - not once. I was always the one doing the asking as I was desperate for the 'mythical secret' to getting ds to sleep for more than 2 hrs at a time. I wish I hadn't asked though because if they had babies who has been sleeping for ages I'd be jealous, if theirs hadn't started sleeping well until much older than ds then I would be even more desperate. I still remember when ds was 3 months old being told by one baby's mother that he r child had started sleeping well at 9 months old which seemed like a lifetime to wait at that point.

Megbusset - your ds sounds like my mine. He was fine (woke once for a feed at night) until 3 months old. Then it was 5-6 times a night every night and many of those were for a couple of hours at a time.

just lie

'oh yes, of course. Isn't yours?'

I tend to do 'No, so yes I am bloody knackered. Do you want to come and do my housework for me?' It doesn't make them feel inadequate but it does make them feel guilty.

If I want to make them feel inadequate I say 'No, but I have still managed to read several works of nineteenth century philosophy in the original German/hold frequent sophisticated dinner parties/run a marathon/organise the cake stall at our nursery open day'
(only the cake stall one is true, btw.)

Depending on mood:

• "no, but then the middle of the night snuggles are my favourite time of day - I wouldn't give them up for a full night's sleep" OR
• "no, but she can talk French/juggle fire/solve quadratic equations - what's yours doing atm, other than sleep?"

kathy that is a good reply to any generic-smug-mum comment. e.g. my baby can amuse himself for hours - 'well mine cant so I am knackered. do you want to come over and do some housework for me'. lol

after 2 and a half years, my answer is:

'^&$**$£%&£&%£&%%'

i cant believe there are really people who are smug about their babies sleeping through

my 4 month old dd has been sleeping through for about a week(touch wood).she is ff,for one,and i have 4 other children who are all in bed by 8pm,so dd3 settled very easily into a bedtime routine as it all goes quiet here at 8pm,then everyone is woken at 6.30 am by the very loud ds2.

however,my ds1 didnt sleep through the night till he was 4 years old,so i know how difficult it is.dd2 slept through from 12 weeks but started waking again at 6 months due to teething.

it doesnt do to be smug about anything when it comes to parenthood,as it will always come back and bite you on the arse.dd1 slept through from 6 weeks and i thought it was great untill she turned into a toddler,and even those 12 hours sleep a night didnt make up for the constant tantrums during the day!

You could even work it in subtly by saying something like 'No, and we were hoping once he started walking/eating at the Fat Duck/solving Fermat's Last Theorem it would wear him out enough so he slept, but it doesn't seem to have worked out like that, ha ha ha.'

Diva, we were smug about dd sleeping through at 7 weeks.
God is punishing us now.

Reply - My maternity nurse takes care of the night waking

LOL @ the maternity nurse - you could say you don't really know, you will have to check!

and then get your mobile out, punch in a number and go 'Hello? Gina?'

rofl at maternity nurse and having to check!