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Original poster

Are sleep consultants worth it?

79 replies

desparate4sleep · 05/04/2019 15:55

I am desparate to get my 8 month old off me and into her own cot.I have been crying all day today and am at my limit. A sleep consultant I have seen charges £325 for a Skype consultation, a plan and some support calls.

It just seems so so expensive but if it works I would do it. The consultant doesn't use cry it out and doesn't replace one crutch with another so my baby likes to fall asleep breastfeeding but she doesn't replace it with rocking so what does she do?

I have been researching for months and trying different techniques. I understand that it is about consistency so I followed a plan for two weeks, then another for ten days as well as multiple other things.

I have a very determined baby and I really don't see how she could change her sleep habits in 4 days that she claims.

Has anyone used one and would you recommend? Sorry if this post doesn't come across well I am typing with tears streaming down my face.

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DaddysGirl36 · 08/04/2019 17:40

I arranged classes around nap time & only now a few months down the line do I sometimes skip the lunchtime nap in the cot & let him have it in the car or pram whilst out & about as staying at home daily between 12-3 is difficult.

fantasticdog · 09/04/2019 14:16

A sleep consultant? What a waste of money. Common sense and perseverance is all that’s required. Spend money on something else

HDG1234 · 12/04/2019 16:43

I have had someone recommended to me by 2 friends. She charges £655 plus travel (c.£60) to stay with me for 48 hours plus ongoing support by text for 4 months. So sounds like what you’ve been quoted is too high

HDG1234 · 12/04/2019 16:44

And 3 calls also included

tinierclanger · 12/04/2019 16:52

I paid 250 for someone who worked via Skype consultation and she was amazing and worth every penny. The level of support was just what I needed. So yes, if they're good it is worth it.

NewAccount270219 · 15/04/2019 15:35

I posted at the beginning of this thread saying we were using a sleep consultant and thought I'd update to say that - although it's still early days and too soon to count our chickens - DS has slept 7.30-7 for the past six nights and so we are very, very pleased we used the consultant. It has been completely transformative for us and very worth the money.

Original poster
desparate4sleep · 18/04/2019 04:52

@NewAccount270219 OMG that is amazing well done! Its 4:45am and I haven't slept at all tonight. Could you DM me the name of your sleep consultant please? I am still thinking about doing it after Easter I bought a couple of books but they aren't helping me as they write about getting them in a routine from birth and not what to do when you have a 7 month old attached to your nipple.

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NewAccount270219 · 18/04/2019 09:45

Sorry you're having such a rough time. Happy to put her name on the thread - I don't think she'll mind given how positive our review is! Her name is Andrea Grace and she charges about £300 for initial consultation (via Skype - can do it in person but that costs more), plan and four weeks of follow-up

NewAccount270219 · 18/04/2019 10:05

I've just re-read your OP and we didn't do it in four days by the way - more like two weeks until the first night he slept entirely through, though there was a notable improvement in the frequency of wake ups from about day three. It was essentially a form of gradual retreat, a bit speeded up towards the end when he suddenly seemed to find our presence distracting rather than comforting as he fell to sleep (that took about 10 days after we first started only settling him in the cot). We had pretty minimal crying (18 minutes was the longest he ever cried for, and mostly it was under 10 minutes) but Andrea did say we were lucky there. I felt incredibly anxious about it beforehand (and read a thousand Sarah Ockwell Smith attachment parenting articles so I could both make myself feel guilty but also note how dodgy her science is and so feel a bit better), but I feel no regret or guilt at all now - it felt like we went at DS's pace and he's a lot happier for getting so much more sleep.

Original poster
desparate4sleep · 18/04/2019 18:05

Thanks so much @NewAccount270219 I will look her up.

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Original poster
desparate4sleep · 30/04/2019 21:09

Hi @NewAccount270219 just wondering how you are getting on now? Hope he is still sleeping through for you.

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NewAccount270219 · 03/05/2019 11:29

Sorry, just seen this. Yes, still sleeping, fortunately! He had a tummy bug last week and we had a couple of quite disturbed nights with that because he was uncomfortable, poor thing, but (to my surprise, if I'm honest) he's gone back to sleeping through since he's been better, even though we rocked him to sleep while he was ill.

Original poster
desparate4sleep · 04/05/2019 17:43

@NewAccount270219 that's brilliant, so happy for you!

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mumlikeaboss · 04/05/2019 21:27

desparate4sleep
Are you still struggling with your LO?
Did you go to a sleep consultant?

At the risk of sounding all "I can cure your kid!" 😂 just thought I'd throw my method out there and you can try it if you wish. My mum did it with us 3 kids, and my sister and I have both used it successfully on our 2 kids...

Basically involves putting LO down in the cot (having already completed whatever bedtime 'routine' you do, although we didn't really have one) and going out of the room.
They will scream as soon as you leave them.
Go back in after 5 minutes to reassure them quietly that you're still there, but it's time to sleep. Minimal talking / eye contact.
Stay out another 5 minutes.
Keep repeating until they fall asleep.

Some people think this amounts to "crying it out" methods, but not IMO because you're going in regularly to reassure them that they haven't been abandoned. You're just gently but firmly making them realise that it's bedtime and they need to settle themselves rather than be rocked to sleep like they're used to.

DS we trained at around 9 months, and I think my sister did it a little younger with her DD. They both picked it up within a few nights - started off taking half an hour or so to settle, but that tapered off to 15 minutes, 10 minutes and so on until we could put them down and they'd not bother screaming at all but settle themselves quite quick.

It does take commitment - if you stick it out 2 nights then give in, you're back to square one because you've just reiterated that if they scream enough then eventually you'll get them up and rock them. Xx

Original poster
desparate4sleep · 04/05/2019 23:09

Thanks @mumlikeaboss yes still waking every 30 mins. I am planning on sleep training but at the minute she is really struggling with separation anxiety and cant even step into the kitchen without her panicking so I want that to settle first before I try it.

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mumlikeaboss · 05/05/2019 06:04

Aww that's tough 😥 hope she settles down soon for you xxx

HoneyWheeler · 05/05/2019 06:17

We used one, I think it may even be the same one you mentioned based on the details and I have no doubt in saying she actually saved my life. I needed the hand hold. I needed the support, I tried doing it on my own but I really needed the guidance. Worth every penny!!

Mississippilessly · 06/05/2019 20:11

We have just stated with ours. We paid £220 for a 3 hour visit, a very long detailed plan and then a month of unlimited support.
I'm on day one tonight - first step is to night wean. Eek.

HoneyWheeler · 06/05/2019 20:29

Good luck @Mississippilessly - hope it's not too hairy

Original poster
desparate4sleep · 07/05/2019 01:10

Good luck @Mississippilessly please update on how you get on.

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Mississippilessly · 07/05/2019 06:58

Well night one was a bit of a disaster. He ended up back in my bed.
Oh good.

Original poster
desparate4sleep · 07/05/2019 11:55

Oh no, I hope it gwts easier and you have an easier night tonight @Mississippilessly. How old is he?

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Original poster
desparate4sleep · 23/05/2019 14:34

Hi @NewAccount270219 just wanted to thank you for recommending Andrea Grace. I bought her book and its brilliant and I felt confident enough to start it myself without using her as a consultant. I'm on night 3 (early days so hope I am not jinxing myself) but last night she slept the best she has in 5 months still a way to go before she sleeps through but so much better already. How are you doing?

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Mississippilessly · 23/05/2019 15:13

Well done!!
We are 2 weeks into gentle sleep training and it's going so much better. He did a 7 hour stretch night before last. He has ight weaned and is in his cot all night.
We have a way to go still but so far... so good! X

Original poster
desparate4sleep · 23/05/2019 15:36

Well done @mississipilessly I was worried you had given up after night one. I gave in during the middle of night two and thought I had ruined it but night 3 was great. I'm so happy I have started it after months and months of agonising.
7 hour stretch is brilliant I would be so happy if I could get there. Well done on going through it.

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