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Original poster

Are sleep consultants worth it?

79 replies

desparate4sleep · 05/04/2019 15:55

I am desparate to get my 8 month old off me and into her own cot.I have been crying all day today and am at my limit. A sleep consultant I have seen charges £325 for a Skype consultation, a plan and some support calls.

It just seems so so expensive but if it works I would do it. The consultant doesn't use cry it out and doesn't replace one crutch with another so my baby likes to fall asleep breastfeeding but she doesn't replace it with rocking so what does she do?

I have been researching for months and trying different techniques. I understand that it is about consistency so I followed a plan for two weeks, then another for ten days as well as multiple other things.

I have a very determined baby and I really don't see how she could change her sleep habits in 4 days that she claims.

Has anyone used one and would you recommend? Sorry if this post doesn't come across well I am typing with tears streaming down my face.

OP posts:
Inthehatbox · 05/04/2019 15:58

A mum at baby group paid £80 a time (think she had two, maybe three, sessions) for a women to tell her the advice that is on any thread on Mumsnet.

Personally I wouldn’t.

InDubiousBattle · 05/04/2019 16:04

I wouldn't. I would guess she'll suggest gradual retreat, ssh-pat or controlled crying, or a mush up of some sort of all three. I've only known 2 people use one, one just needed some sort of permission to do controlled crying and the other didn't really want to sleep train at all, they just wanted their baby to randomly start self settling and sleeping through. Both wasted their money imho, post on here, there are some pretty knowledgeable parents here and work out a plan that will work for you.

Ohladedah · 05/04/2019 16:22

Yes, it absolutely can be worth it in my opinion, though that's expensive for coaching over Skype. I suggest you find someone cheaper, or pay more for someone to come to your house.

We had a night nanny / sleep coach for 4 nights, at London prices, so v v expensive. But definitely worth it. At 8 months he was waking 6 times a night and starting the day at 5am - i also had a 2 year old and 5 year old to cope with. He's been an amazing sleeper ever since and i was able to enjoy the rest of my maternity leave and our whole family was happier. As others have said, there is no magic technique, i knew what to do, but i was too exhausted to persist and found the crying too upsetting.

Good luck

Original poster
desparate4sleep · 05/04/2019 17:20

I just don't know what to do to try her to sleep without giving her my boob or rocking her.

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 07/04/2019 07:41

How is weaning going op? My ds slept well until 6/7 months when he started to wake every 60-90 minutes and needed feeding to sleep, he was ff by then and would literally take a couple of oz before going to sleep. We did sleep train at 11 months but be then I was confident he was eating very well during the day so could night wean with confidence. Sleep training took 3 weeks or so.

user1493413286 · 07/04/2019 07:49

There’s an app called huckleberry which offers sleep advice; I think it’s free the first time or you can pay £30 to have it quickly. The advice was helpful for me and seeing her sleep and nap patterns on a graph you fill in was even more helpful for me. Maybe try that before spending all that money?
What country are you in? In the uk the health visitor can refer you to a sleep clinic for free.

NewAccount270219 · 07/04/2019 08:00

We are currently using a sleep consultant and we're glad we are but we think of it as like having a personal trainer - they're not going to tell you anything secret that you couldn't find out any other way (you don't use a personal trainer and then they go 'actually, there's this secret sort of exercise that gets you fit while you sit on the sofa'), and they don't do the work for you. For us it's about having the confidence to follow it through and someone to ask when DS doesn't do exactly what we expected, which we just didn't have when following generic advice in books. We could also easily afford it - I wouldn't suggest anyone do it if it would cause financial problems for them. For us it was the price of a weekend away, and easily worth it when seen like that.

He went from multiple wake ups in the night, some of them lasting two hours, to sleeping through the night for the first time ever on night 8. So for us it's been easily worth £300 - I have no doubt that other people could have done the same thing without paying the money and got the same result, but we'd tried before and we were really struggling.

NewAccount270219 · 07/04/2019 08:02

Oh and we went to the health visitors sleep clinic and it was just someone reading the Millpond clinic's 'teach your child to sleep' book out loud

ForgivenessIsDivine · 07/04/2019 08:24

We paid two sleep consultants. Both came to our house and met us and our children. I had read every book under the sun and tried every technique. It gave me a strategy, forced me to look carefully at what was going on and pushed me into making changes I would not have otherwise made. I didn't leave him to cry and it was difficult. We didn't start until after 9 months and it did help. It took longer than 4 days though!

Indecisivelurcher · 07/04/2019 08:26

Used sleepy moonkeeper. Didn't learn anything we hadn't read but what the pp said about it being like a personal trainer is spot on.

GertrudeCB · 07/04/2019 08:34

Sleep clinic set up by HV with ds1 - sleep diary for 1 week then she came up with a plan then weekly meetings to discuss progress/ make tweaks.
As PP's said it was nothing that I didn already know but having outside support helped us to stick to the plan. And it worked. As first slept through the night at 22 months Smile

Nowthenforever2019 · 07/04/2019 08:37

My friend had one, told her to leave her baby to cry for a few moments to self settle and it worked. Exactly the same advice we all gave her but it gave her the confidence to actually go through with it.

Bobbybobbins · 07/04/2019 08:41

Some of my friends have had them. Agree with pps that they won't tell you anything you don't already know but might be worth it if you feel you need someone to support you through it.

We sleep trained both of ours around 7 months and did a combination of ssh-pat, gradual retreat and teaching them to self-settle.

LutherRalph1 · 07/04/2019 08:47

I'm working with one at the moment. As mentioned she hasn't told me anything I didn't know but it just gives support and confidence - I came away from
Our first call feeling like I could do it. We have completed two nights and LO is responding very well ( so far)

NewAccount270219 · 07/04/2019 08:50

I find the idea that you can use Mumsnet as substitute laughable, by the way. If you start a thread then you will get, in order of most to least useful:
10 people offering 10 totally different things that helped them
10 people saying they're following because they're in the same situation
30 people saying 'just cosleep and enjoy the cuddles! They're not little for long! I coslept with mine and now they're 8 they sleep through most nights! If you do any form of sleep training you will emotionally damage them - but then I was the sort of mum who put my babies first and just accepted it when I was so sleep deprived I crashed into a bus, killing eight people'
10 people saying 'you think that's bad?! My baby woke up every 32 seconds until they were 23 years old!'

Shelbybear · 07/04/2019 08:50

Sounds very expensive for some advice. I'd expect her to sleepover for 1 night to try and help u, easy money there 😳

Does she guarantee it or anything, if not I wouldn't pay that sort of money and then be annoyed as it didn't work.

NewAccount270219 · 07/04/2019 08:51

I think the most appropriate actual substitute is a book

Nowthenforever2019 · 07/04/2019 08:51

Newaccount 😂

noseoftralee · 07/04/2019 08:55

GrinNewaccount

NewAccount270219 · 07/04/2019 08:56

You're not going to get someone to meet you, do a sleep plan, stay the night and then provide ongoing support for £300. Work it out as an hourly rate and you'll see why.

Hollowvictory · 07/04/2019 09:04

It does baffle me why people train their baby to only sleep when fed or rocked and then say they don't like this situation 😳
If you need help to change baby's sleep routine then yes its worth it.

DaddysGirl36 · 07/04/2019 09:21

What are daytime sleeps like? They have a lot to do with night time sleep in my experience. Could you try some sleep training yourself (from advice online or in a book) with those first? At 8 months I was only BFing 3 times a day - morning, 3pm & night with the rest of nutrition being meals, snacks & water in a silly cup. Disassociating BFs & sleep is a good place to start - I know it's hard. Look for tiredness cues & put straight down in bouncer or cot & leave to settle. They may cry & whether or not you can handle that is part of the training. Some sleep consultants say they don't use cry methods but I'd be reluctant to believe them & how will a Skype one work anyway? Will they be there each hour of the night?? A video call won't help if your baby is screaming will it. If you do end up giving it a try, get a real person in

Ilovemysleepthief · 07/04/2019 09:23

Exactly the same situation here, and I have just paid £350 Shock it starts tonight!

NewAccount270219 · 07/04/2019 09:34

It does baffle me why people train their baby to only sleep when fed or rocked and then say they don't like this situation

Because they don't want their newborns to cry? I would rather have not had to go through sleep training DS at 8 months, but the only alternative I could see is if we'd let him scream himself to sleep when he was much younger, and I'm glad we didn't do that. Did yours do the fabled 'drowsy but awake' thing and that's why you don't get why other people don't 'train' them better? Because mine didn't and I bet OP's doesn't either.

Hollowvictory · 07/04/2019 09:40

@newccountNobody would recommend sleep training newborns. The op has sleep trained her baby, but to go to sleep only with rocking or food. Not a winning strategy for me but may work for others.
Never heard of drowsy bit awake but I had twins so a good sleep routine was essential. You can't rock two babies all night.