I’m doing this all wrong

[reetgood]

But I can’t bear another 45 min faffing about routine. Or maybe I will go up to him.

14 month old feeds until drowsy then protracted settling in contact with holding my hand etc

Boyfriend ended up on a job and he’s not home for another couple of hours.

Almost asleep and then not, and I Just Cannot Start this whole rigamarole again.

He’s crying in cot, this isn’t how you’re supposed to do it but I can’t, I really can’t.

Sounds like you're having a really tough time! We're struggling with sleep too. It can be so frustrating, especially when they finally nod off and the bang they are awake again! I'm sure you're not doing it all wrong, it just really is this hard

What happened for the rest of the evening/night op? You're not doing it wrong.

What time do you settle your DC, OP? Mine is 14mo too and we only turn the light off at 1930. Is it maybe a bit too early for him, especially with the lighter evenings?

Thanks all. Well, it kind of degenerated.... I was just not in a place to do what was required. I was steaming mad at partners friend/ colleague who through poor planning delivered partner home at 9pm instead of the anticipated 6pm. Son is coming off the back of a fierce cold and I’m coming down with it. All told, not the greatest circumstances to do crying it out but I didn’t know what else to do.

I went upstairs after he’d been quiet for 15 mins and he was sat up clutching his teddy and he doesn’t do cuddling. I havenow probably ruined him settling in the cot forever. I picked him up and he just lay on me, which is also unlike him.

Dad settled him finally when he got back. I was not in any place to do it.

@iamthecaptainnow I think that might be a bit of the problem - he’s been at 6.30pm to start to settle, asleep between 7 and 7.30pm. It might well be too early for him now. He’s down to one nap a day, around midday, for an hour - two hours.

He’s always just been crap sleep wise, recently we thought we were living the dream with three - four hour stretches and actually settling in the cot instead of on one of us. I mean it takes 15-30 mins of me tarting around with my hands in the cot (he places them there!) but it’s progress.

I think I’ve probably scuppered crying it out as a strategy, at least for myself I’m not sure I can see it through.

Ahh sorry to hear that. Well look, for starters I'm sure you've not done any harm from one problematic evening- contrary to what some MNetters will say re cry it out

Oops, posted too soon! Was trying to put a on the end of that last sentence.

But 6.30 does seem very early to me... Obviously every child is different, but it seems like an hour to get to sleep is too long. Could you try moving bedtime an hour later? My DS has also only recently started to settle with shushing rather than touching, he almost found the hands distracting and kept moving them/himself around them. Just a thought?

@iamthecaptainnow I think you’re right about the bedtime. When you mentioned it, I realised we’d been at the same bedtime for months and of course developmentally he’s changed quite a lot. We tried a bit later last night, although I was out so boyfriend did settle and seemed fairly straightforward.

I also now have the cold he had and can confirm it’s brutal, so there’s hope yet.