How to handle daytime naps?

[Teeterhop]

My little girl has just turned 6 months old this week and is more or less sleeping well at night. She will wake up once or twice usually.

Daytime is a totally different story. Up until now she's only ever napped by me feeding her to sleep - if I try to take her off the boob or put her down she wakes up. We really want to try and get her to take daytime naps in her cot because it's increasingly difficult to find time to sit doing nothing for hours so she can sleep on me!

However she just doesn't have the ability to self soothe and will just cry and cry. This afternoon I darkened her room, put her in her sleeping bag and fed her; she fell asleep so I gently woke her as I put her in the cot.

That was 2 hours ago! I'm leaving her for a few minutes at a time before going back to comfort her (5 to 10 mins). But it DOESN'T comfort her, she just gets more upset. She's so so unhappy, and she's so so tired, and I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing.

I've been having a cry in between going to dry her tears, just because my heart is breaking listening to her cry for 2 hours. How long am I supposed to persevere with this for a daytime nap before giving up and letting her sleep on me? It can't possibly be good for her to let her be this upset for so long can it? But will she ever learn if I cave in? All I want to do is cuddle her better :(

Any advice is welcome. Sorry if this post is all over the place.

My little girl is 8 months and up until 2 weeks ago I had the same problem that she would sleep great at night but only nap on me during the day. I’m not breastfeeding but my baby has a dummy when she sleeps. It sounds like maybe your little girl is using you as a dummy while she’s asleep. Does she have a dummy in the cot?

I doubt she will fall asleep right now as she has been in the cot for so long so get her out of the cot and give her a cuddle, and try again tomorrow. I know how it feels listening to them screaming!!

What worked for me was taking her into her darkened room, doing a quiet nappy change, putting into sleeping bag and laying down with dummy and walking straight out. When she cried I would leave her for a minute and go in and lay her back down with the dummy, and walking straight out. I kept doing this as many times as it took for her to get the message. If she hadn’t fallen asleep within around 40 minutes, I would take her back downstairs for 30-60 minutes of play and then do this routine again.

2 weeks ago I had absolutely no hope and a few days of tears, but after that she learnt if she needed to go to sleep she would have to sleep in the cot.

Maybe you could try this and see if it works? She doesn’t nap for as long in the cot as she did on me (around 30 minutes a time) but she falls asleep on her own with very little hassle now, and that’s after only 2 weeks.

I hope this might help you x

Give her a cuddle you both need it and try again another day, no point exasperating the situation, she is still only little, have that cuddle xx

Tbh if you woke me up after I'd been asleep 5 minutes I would cry for hours too give up for today.

DD1 didn't self settle until she started nursery and was totally wiped out. I used to have her fall asleep in the car or pushchair and I could then put her down somewhere.

She always hated the cot tho and we ended up taking the sides off at 1yo to try and change the environment and break the routine of her tantrumming all evening.

Thank you all for replying, even just the solidarity helps loads!

We've given up and are having a cuddle now (she's all smiles as soon as I picked her up, just me that's upset now!).

Thanks for all your advice. To address some points; she outright refuses to take a dummy and always has. It's a shame because I do think it would help her. She definitely uses me to comfort suck.

I know I've brought it on myself by allowing it for 6 months. Because honestly, cuddling her and letting her fall asleep while feeding is my absolute favourite, and I'll miss it when she's grown! I just know it's in her best interest for her to be able to sleep without me there.

I think for tomorrow I will take the advice above - try for 40-45 mins then give up and have some more playtime before trying again a bit later. Nobody is winning with the way we've tried it today!

Thanks again all x

Ah bless you. Just bear in mind you've changed her daytime nap routine and she doesn't know what to expect. Does she have to go into her cot? Can she go in her buggy (reclined) while you rock her to sleep then leave her sleeping there?

Just an idea, sure lots more suggestions will come along. Good luck x

Can you feed lying down on the bed? Then roll away once asleep? I'm doing this with my 5month old. Sometimes he'll wake up and go back to sleep on his own. I feel like he's gotten used to sleeping on his own during the day because we've been doing it for around 6 weeks now.

Ds wouldn't nap in his cot until after 10 months, though slept there fine at night. His nap place was the sofa, a specific side and cushion. Once I discovered this I tried maybe once a week to go back to the cot then gave up. I hope you find your nap spot

My girl is 10 months formula fed and won't self sooth in the day. I wrap her up in a blanket so she is toasty warm, give her a dummy, cuddle. Then when she falls asleep I gently lay her in her back whilst still holding her, so she doesn't get a shock when I put her in her cot. My mum showed me that trick.....love grandmas little tips worth a try xx

Agree with pp - buggy worked for us. (Still does at 13 mo).

You are all wonderful. You know when it just seems like all the other mums you know have this stuff sorted, and you're the only one that's not got it together? It's so reassuring just to hear that lots of us have been in the same boat.

I did used to feed her on our bed and do the sneaky ninja roll away! That was how we used to get her to sleep at night. But since she started rolling over I daren't let her sleep on our bed anymore.

She used to sleep quite well in the pushchair but rarely does now. The car does work quite frequently though!

Thank you all again for your ideas x

Morning @Teeterhop, how’s it gone this morning? x