6 month old routinely waking how do I stop it?

[Baby2018]

Hey all just wondering if.you can help my little boy is great at falling asleep at 7 ish he goes in his cot awake and falls asleep pretty fast ( we did the gradual retreat method for bed time) but at night he wakes at 12, 1.30, 3.30 ( this is the most difficult one he's desperately trying to stay awake) and then 5.30 when he's definitely not going back to sleep. I don't know what to do about these night wakings, I'm going in to shh him for the 12 and 1.30 ones and can get him back to sleep pretty quick, I don't pick him up but the 3.30 one can take up to an hour and I either feed him or play a long game of go in go out. Do you guys think I should be leaving him to cry? Is there anything I can do to get him to sleep through and break this routine? Thanks

Ours did the same. We started sleep training (controlled crying) in the evening when putting them down and from day 1 it stopped the night wakings. With both kids. Now and again (following illness, etc.), we'd have to top up the training if they got into the habit of waking in the middle of the night. This involved CC at 1 am - annoying! Good luck!

Did this at around 7 months, btw.

Check out Little Sleep Stars on Facebook. She really helped us. Sometimes little ones falling asleep quickly at bedtime are actually overtired, and they sort of crash out as opposed to properly put themselves to sleep. This means that they haven't developed the independent sleep skills so when they wake in the night they need help to get back to sleep. It's a vicious cycle! That might be the issue?

While tiring, it’s really, really, really normal. We seem to forget that and expect so much from babies way too early. As an adult I probably still wake that much I just know now, how to get back to sleep. Babies don’t have that skill yet. Have a look at Sarah Ockwell-Smith stuff and her gentle sleep solution.

Obviously controlled crying is also an option but it wasn’t for me. For me it doesn’t meet the babies needs (cuddles, comfort, mummy) it’s just meeting my need for sleep.

Like all things with babies, it was just a phase. My DDs sleep got better and better and by 10 months was in her own room and sleeping through (we co-slept to maximise my sleep!).

@honeywheeler interesting thank you, if he went to bed earlier it would be like 6.30? Is that too early? I will look up that lady on fb

@carpetgate we did do the cry it out method and that's what got him to where he is now before we did it he was up every half hour / hour so it's definitely improved but not sleeping through

Having a baby wake every 2 hours is no good for the baby nor a mum. You don't get a medal for being sleep deprived.

OP - my now 7 month old was doing this - she has never been a good sleeper. We did some controlled crying (left her for 5 mins and then went in and calmed her down including picking her up) and that sorted the initial going down part but she was still waking every 2 hours. In desperation I was googling and came across a forum post which made me think. It was just the words 'baby associates feeding with sleep'. I'd be trying to stop feeding to sleep for ages but she would basically pass out before I had a chance to get her into the cot after her last feed. So, I changed the routine a bit and instead of it being bath, boob, bed it became boob / bottle, bath, quiet play and then bed. Out of nowhere she suddenly only woke up twice. It took 45 mins that night but I got her back to sleep workout feeding her and she is now only waking once a night. She even slept through 3 nights in a row. This has coincided with weaning and she's eating quite well so it could be that but I think disassociating feeding with sleep was really important.

That could help but it also might be (it was in our case) that the awake windows during the day were too long. From memory, at 6 months their wakeful window (without overtiredness) is around 2-3 hours, so if he's pushing past that he will be overtired, which will build up over the day. Then cortisol and other hormones flood their bodies which make it harder for them to sleep! Sleep is a real puzzle.

Thanks @honeywheeler it's so hard isn't it because my.boy is pretty stubborn it's v hard to get him to sleep if he doesn't feel like it!

@kirinmn I do already do it that way round because he has reflux ( treated medically) so he has a bottle then bath then book ( if we make it to book) then bed. As soon as he's sleepy during book time I put him in his bed to fall asleep himself he cries a tiny bit then sleeps I'm.really wondering if I should leave him to cry it out at night because at the moment I go in then calm then leave but he routinely wakes regardless

@Baby2018 You know, I didn't feel bad about letting her cry and she never cried for long. I thought I'd feel awful but because I decided against just leaving her until she stopped, I was able to calm her down. When I realised that her inability to self soothe meant that she was up 6/7 times a night and absolutely shattered and miserable every day I knew that I had to get her to sleep properly for her own good (as well as mine). She's now waking early because it's light and she is grumpy and tired all day despite sleeping for decent chunks of time now.

Thanks @kirinm the thing thats confusing me is I can go in and out silently settling him back to sleep but I do it every night, hes not learning that he doesnt get out his crib or I dont cuddle him so theres no point doing it, he's just carrying on waking up. So Im kinda like, whats my next move? do I just not go in at all and let him cry? do I feed him ( although I dont feel he needs it and will only do it at 4 ish occasionally if I think it might help)

Thanks for the replies really appreciate the help!

p.s. He's got a white noise machine, he sleeps in a sleep bag, he has a comforter (that clips to his sleepbag so he cant pull it over his face but he can hold it)

I've always had the opinion that if they're waking at night it's probably for a reason.

If he's had his last feed before bed at 7 and waking up at midnight, he could be hungry. Have you tried feeding on the first wake up and see if he settles any better?

At six months, it could be teething as well. So I'd be reluctant to leave him to cry with that in mind.

He's probably ready to start the day at 5 cos that's when it's getting light now. See how he gets on when the clocks change.

Could be hunger! Have you tried a dreamfeed? I used to go in at 10:30 when I went to bed, and pick my son out of the cot, feed and put him back down, and that knocked one of the wakings on the head.

He’s probably hungry. 6 month olds still need feeding in the night. Try a dreamfeed as pp says.

Baby 2018 where did you get the clip for the comforter this could change my life constantly waking to remove comforter after he goes back down at the mo.

@Misty999 its a jelly cat clip comforter with dummy attachment
www.jellyexpress.co.uk/dummy-holders/bashful-beige-bunny-dummy-holder.html?kw=&ci=46070649294&network=g&pm=&cid=192403254&aid=13355395974&tid=pla-851199542792&dev=c&mt=&lim=&lpm=1006951&pos=1o3&dm=&fid=&mid=9371835&pid=DH4BE&country=GB&source=google&gclid=CjwKCAjwp_zkBRBBEiwAndwD9aoAQYnm1y7mYv26zVGAS31cmJf2EwEnO677F2MLcwcsS9yc_5bkbBoCQnAQAvD_BwE

I have tried dream feeds but he seems to wake at the same times regardless although I will keep feeding him at 3.30 / 4 if he seems hungry I think

@Fatted I have bought a black out blind and hopefully the clock change will help! I havent done cry it out at night yet just the couple of times getting him to bed initially so he could learn how to fall asleep without me.

Many thanks. Sorry no tips on sleep mine is 9 months and wakes totally randomly sometimes once mostly twice but sometimes loads. Thankfully he goes straight back down 99% of the time after a bottle, I know they say not to feed but I'd rather get up once to feed then know I'll have a good few hours. He's a sleep warrior in the day but when I get him off for a nap I sleep with him keeps me going if iv had a rough night.