When to give up and switch to one nap

[BabyBobbins32]

Hello wise mummies, sleep deprived desperate mum seeking advice please...
My dd2 is sleeping terribly at the moment. The major thing she is fighting is her morning nap (or if she does take it then fights afternoon one).
I know this is a common sleep regression and they aren't necessarily trying to drop to one nap....but when do you say ok let's stop this battle and drop to 1?
We did try the other day just one and she then fell asleep having afternoon bottle and only had 30mins 🤦‍♀️.
Yesterday I resorted to rocking her and got a 15 minute morning nap. She then screamed house down for afternoon nap and eventually I took her out in buggy and she had 1.5hrs.
Bedtime she goes down ok(ish) but then wakes at 3/4am and is a little hell raiser to get back down.
The problem is she is standing up in her cot. She can sit back down but does it for a few seconds before getting straight back up. If lay her back down she is up before you've even taken step towards door. I tried leaving her yesterday and going in every so often but she just screamed and screamed and screamed. 😩
Any sleep training techniques people have found worked for this? And when do you accept she is ready to drop to one nap and it's not just a sleep regression?
Thank you in advance!

What age is she? Both mine dropped to 1 nap around 11/12 months

How old is she op? Mine dropped his second nap his self! About 13/14 months, now he just has the one in the middle of the day! ☺

Yes definitely need to know how old she is but mine dropped to 1 nap at 15 months.

Sorry forgot that rather important point. She's 12 months x

Both mine dropped to one nap at 12 months despite my best efforts to squeeze two out.

They actually both slept for 2-3 hours at 12pm so had more sleep over all

I can’t remember but the change to one long nap was ace.

I think I might try the one nap again thanks all.
Any tips on how to deal with the standing up issue?
Thank you x

Any advice on techniques to help the standing up in cot thing would be fantastic. The situation has become worse. For both naps and bedtime today she has refused to lay down in her cot even if I stay and stroke her head. Not sure what to do??
Thanks so much

Sounds tricky op!
I think I'd take her up to bed, give her a cuddle and a kiss, say goodnight, keep lying her down, don't talk to her after the initial goodnight, just gently lay her down, I know she will get straight back up but every few mins I'd go in and lay her back down, no attention, and walk straight back out. I think it will be hard, she will cry alot, but will fall asleep eventually.
I then think the next night do the same again, and in time she should go to sleep quicker!
As long as you know she's got a full tummy, clean nappy, not unwell or anything like that, then I would say it's OK to let her cry it out a little. I know it's not nice hearing them cry, but it will help in the long run.
Other than that maybe a chat with hv?

Thanks @Nicecupofcoco. I may try that tomorrow. And yes I may have to speak to hv.
Today my husband took over the naps and basically just sat in the room tapped the floor of the cot a few times and softly said "time to lay down". She didn't lay down herself of course but every so often he would lay her down and then eventually she stayed down and he shushed, stroked her head and she fell asleep. Took him roughly 30mins.
I tried exactly the same for bedtime and she actually stayed laying down pretty quickly for me but then just could not go to sleep. She screamed so much she threw up all over me (I had to pick her up as she was so worked up there was no chance of her sleeping). My husband then took over and she fell asleep pretty quickly for him (I did the ground work of course!). It took an hour in total 😩.
So basically it's as you suggest @Nicecupofcoco but we were just in the room rather than out of it. I find it hard being in the room with her for that long in the day though as I have another dd who I don't like to leave alone for that long so just don't know what I'm going to do if I have to stay with her for that long. Also worried about upsetting other dd hearing all that screaming from her sister!

Not sure why half my post above is in bold, I'm not text shouting I promise 😂

Don't have much advice op as I'm in the same predicament but hoping this will bump you up a bit 🤞

Thanks @TheRhythmlessMan always good to know you aren't alone!

@Babybobbins32, is your husband able to do naps/bedtime for a decent stretch? If she’ll do it better for him than you, then perhaps he should take over for a while to allow her time to get into good habits?

(DH is going to do his first bedtime with DD tonight.... so I’m telling myself it’s the answer to everything!)

@crazychemist only really for the weekend so 2 days/nights. He's got a week off in a couple of weeks though so if I haven't gone crazy by then maybe we could try that 😂

It got slightly better....and then worse again...
So I managed to settle her for bedtime last night. I lay her down and patted her and she fell asleep relatively ok. Did same for naps today and she fought them a bit but eventually took two naps (albeit 40mins and 30mins 🤦‍♀️). Bedtime this evening I tried to pat a little less to see if could settle self but basically ended up patting her to sleep again.
She has now been up twice since then 😩. I'm worried she now requires me to pat her to sleep for every wake up?! Although even that isn't settling her this time...hubby is currently giving it a go as she is majorly unsettled.
Think she's teething as fingers in mouth but she literally seems to be teething constantly bless her.
Apart from the unsettled night we appear to be having, if the patting is working then any idea how we move on from that as spending 20mins patting her to sleep for naps/bedtime is a bit of an issue when I have my other daughter who I'm leaving alone during that time.
Any advice would be great thanks

Hi, What you are doing wrt responses to her in her cot sound right.... you are there to offer comfort and support but you are not playing! It sounds to me like she might be very over-tired ... that can really hinder nice naps so she might need to have a big sleep catch up any way she can. Don't know what time you are putting her down but maybe try a bit earlier and see if it helps her catch up? Also, it sounds like she falls asleep in buggy well so maybe try and let her get nice long sleeps on the move (if practical) and over a few days it may help her feel less unsettled and over-tired and the settling process might get easier. On the assumption she is overtired I'd try and keep 2 naps while she catches up on herself..she seems quite young for dropping to one. good luck.

Thanks @Chasamole. She usually goes to bed at 6.30pm so I could try putting her down at 6pm I guess.
Last night between her and her sister (who has a stinky cold/cough at the moment), we were up about 10 times...one of those occasions taking 2hrs to resettle her 😩.
I feel like we are all in a terrible sleep state at the moment and I am struggling to see a way out. Just hoping things start to improve in the next week as I just don't know where to go next to try and help her sleep 😔