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Sleep

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Original poster

ditching the dummy - how on earth do you settle them?

20 replies

ratfly · 11/07/2007 07:29

I made a vow to chuck out the dummy at the start of the school holidays...
Ds is 6 months, and is waking in the night for his dummy. He is swaddled to stop him scratching his eczema, so he won't be able to substitute his thumb.
At the minute, we have just swaddle, lay down, put the dummy in and he is out. In the evening he is a bit trickier - we have a routine of wash, cream, swaddle, story, milk, dummy. Then we shush pat him, but he HAS to have the dummy in for it to work. So what on earth will we do to settle him when we ditch the dummy?
Has anyone gone through this already to share experience and advice?

OP posts:

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chopster · 11/07/2007 07:43

I'd be tempted to elave it, while he is still swaddled. Only had a dummy with ds1, and I moved from dummy to cuddly, which ds1 hugged and sort of sucked a bit, I think he was a little older though, he's jsut started crawling.

Wilkie · 11/07/2007 08:43

Just came on here to post exactly the same question. DS is 6 months and woke 11 times in the night for his dummy. How do I start to get rid of it?? It's the only way he settles for naps and at night but I can't go on like this - it is driving me insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FoghornLeghorn · 11/07/2007 08:46

My DD1 is 3 on Monday and she ditched the dummy herself on Saturday.
I personally think people put too much emphasis on children not having a dummy, DH has been badgering DD1 for months and months about her dummy but she decided on Saturday as she was going to be a big girl soon she wanted to throw her dummy in the bin.

I personally would leave it and enjoy a good nights sleep but each to their own

sandcastles · 11/07/2007 08:49

At 6 months I feel they are a bit young, tbh.

Dd gave hers up at 3 & it took 3 nights of 'ages to get to sleep & broken nights', but we haven't looked back.

moopymoo · 11/07/2007 08:52

i think the sway of opinion is moving towards dummies not being so evil anyway..
this and there was another one about children with comfort objects being well adjusted..this of course is my propaganda as ds2 is nearly 3 and so addicted to the dummy. and i hate them. and have no idea how to get rid - it realy gives him comfort. hth, er probably not!

Seona1973 · 11/07/2007 09:33

I took ds's dummy away at 5 months as he started waking for it in the night. I started at nap times and when he cried I stayed beside him and every so often picked him up for a cuddle and then lay him back down again. It took a while for him to settle but I knew if I persevered it would work (it is easier to handle the crying in the day than in the middle of the night). He was a bit unsettled the first few nights but in the long run it has helped him sleep so much better. When he goes for a nap/night sleep he has his music box from his mobile and his taggy blanket instead of the dummy.

Seona1973 · 11/07/2007 09:37

re: the swaddling, that might be preventing him from finding his own way to self settle e.g. hand sucking, thumb sucking, holding a comfort object, ec so it might be a bit unfair (dont know if that is the right word, sorry!!) to take away the dummy as if it falls out he has no way of replacing it by himself anyway. I think as they get older they can retrieve it and pop it back in without disturbing anyone. If he is swaddled he wouldnt be able to do that. Have you tried leaving one arm out?

Wilkie · 11/07/2007 13:37

Seona - how long did it take?? I hve tried this with DS today at naptime and he screamed and screamed until I felt so sorry for him that I gave him his dummy and BANG he was asleep.

I really want to do away with dummies...for no other reason that the nighttime issue of having to constantly get up to put it back in!

Seona1973 · 11/07/2007 19:47

do you mean in a single naptime period? About 40 minutes the first couple of times but I was determined not to give in as I knew he would settle eventually as he was tired. Felt pretty bad about it while he was screaming but figured in the long run he would sleep better. I stayed with him so at least he wasnt being left to cry on his own.

JimJammum · 11/07/2007 21:44

I will probably get into all sorts of trouble over this but here goes ....my ds was exactly the same as this - I was getting up every hour to put dummy back in (he's now 6mo)and a friend told me that they can't do it themselves until at least 8mo.

So I attached his dummy to a piece of very fine elastic (shearing elastic I think) which loosely goes round his head. He can pop the dummy out with his tongue if he wants, or pull it out with his hands (he is swaddled but works his way out during the night), so he won't suffocate. The bonus is he now sleeps from 11pm after dream feed til 6am, and then goes back again for another hour if I reswaddle.He's getting a good night and so am I.

I know it is a bit unorthodox, but I was desperate and did not want to go through the pain of getting rid of it (I tried one night and the crying broke my heart after about 15 mins).He's had it for a few weeks now and seems ok.

Jojay · 11/07/2007 21:53

I think Seona's method sounds sensible - it WILL be hard to start with, but babies have short memories if you are consistent and within a week I think most will have forgotton it.

Depends if you can cope with the crying though.

If it was me, I'd rather have a few days of crying, than have to get up loads of times in the night for the forseeable future.

On a cheerier note, my DS competely went off the dummy at about 7 months - now if I try and put it in, he sticks his tongue out and blows raspberries at me!!

He wasn't that addicted anyway though, and judging by the number of toddlers you see with dummies, i don't think that many give it up voluntarily - I was lucky!

Original poster

ratfly · 11/07/2007 22:00

So you just kind of cuddled, comforted, picked up etc until eventually he fell asleep?

Getting rid of the swaddle is not an option cos of his eczema (though he will eventually have to ditch it, but I hope by then we will have more of a handle on his eczema). And it IS a problem because of waking in the night for it.

though I do like your idea Jimjam, I'm not sure it'll help in the long run. Sounds like something you should market though

Has anyone else successfully dropped the dummy?

OP posts:

Wilkie · 12/07/2007 13:45

Jimjam - please be really really careful with the elastic. I know it is fine but it could still cut off his airway if it gets tangled tight. Read this link - it is quite distressing but I really think you should rethink the elastic round the neck.

xxxx

fizzylemonade · 13/07/2007 09:19

My son still has his dummy at 14 months and I am planning to ditch it quite soon, although he may not agree

I used a soother saver by MAM because his dummies were MAM but you can use boots dummies too. It is safer than the elastic mentioned

www.mambaby.co.uk/sootherssaver.htm

It means you aren't feeling around under the cot trying to find the dummy as it is attached to them and when they are old enough they can find it themselves. Am sure he was 7 months when he could find it himself and so I never had the 3 dummies in the cot situation or got up in the night to settle him with the dummy.

On the note of eczema am sure someone mentioned on an entirely different thread about using oats in tights and adding it to the bath water. Maybe on the allergy thread?

mylittlestar · 13/07/2007 09:21

IMHO 6 months seems a bit young.

If I were you I'd wait until he's a bit older.

All he knows is that for the last 6 months you've given him a dummy to soothe him, that he loves. And now you've taken it away!

rislip · 13/07/2007 09:33

I dropped the dummy for sleeping with my dd at 6 months as I was sick of waking up 1000 times a night to replace it. I did give her a big cuddly toy cow that she keeps only in her bed and I think she sucks its ears and plays with it till she drops off. It did take a little bit of very mild CC as well.I think it might be hard though with the swaddling. But I can say after about 2 days all her naps and nighttime sleeps got so much better. But I did think the dummy saved my life and if you didn't want to get rid of it, don't. Oh that sounds convulted, I think I'm just saying do what suits.

Seona1973 · 13/07/2007 09:44

yes, dummies are great up to a point - I couldnt have done without it when ds was a baby but when he got older and needed help with it, then it had to go. He also sleeps so much sounder without it and doesnt need us to shove it back in a million times a night.

NineUnlikelyTales · 13/07/2007 09:53

Jimjammum you can buy dummies on clips that might be more suitable than your bit of elastic - you might want to have a look into them.

jujumaman · 13/07/2007 12:04

Ratfly my dd2 is 8 weeks and can see am going to end up like you constantly popping the dummy back in. Seona is right, you gotta just let 'em cry. I did it with dd1 from about eight weeks (staying by her and stroking her) and even though she would cry for 45 mins at first, it got less each night until we ended up with just five minutes of wind-down yelling and she ended up a fantastic non-dummy using sleeper. I think seona's right, they sleep better generally if they don't rely on a dummy. It's not cruel to help your child to sleep well, a good night's sleep is a gift and my dd1 was always lively and happy in the day because she had 12 hrs at night and regular naps. I'll be rooting for you and will shortly steel myself to do exactly the same. Good luck

WikiesWizardWheezes · 13/07/2007 14:22

Have decided to do away with the dummy during the day first and then am gonna tackle naptimes/bedtime.

Doing away with it during the day has been less of a problem than anticipated actually...

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