12 month old standing in cot screaming

[Bubbagirl]

My dd2 has always been a fairly good sleeper, sensitive to teething and times of development leaps or sleep regressions but otherwise good.
We've hit 12 months (which I realise is another sleep regression stage) and everything, bedtime, night wakings, naps have gone to pot.
She is standing in her cot screaming. We go in lay her back down she gets straight back up. Today I tried leaving her for 1-3-5 minutes and she just kept screaming and getting more and more worked up. I've tried stroking her head or putting hand on chest she just screams and screams.
If my husband goes in and strokes head or puts hand on chest she calms down and goes to sleep but then when he leaves the room if not fully asleep she screams again. He works in week though so can't do it every time.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I have another daughter so can't spend all my time in her room trying to settle her. I am feeling so hopeless and upset by the whole thing.

Would really appreciate any advice on this please. It's all going very wrong 😩

My lo did exactly this, can she sit herself back down if she wants to? Mine couldn’t so I pushed her gently so that she fell on her bum, once I knew she could get down if she wanted to I did let her cry a bit, eventually she got the message... it only lasted three weeks if that’s any comfort at all!

You have my sympathies. At 12 months my dd was teething and in pain so I gave her children's panadol before bed. That made a world of difference. Is your dd teething and in pain?

My dd has always been hard work to get to sleep. What has worked for us is music. I experimented with different genres to find what she responded to best. As a little baby she responded very well to Hot Chocolate's You sexy Thing for a few weeks, then it was Bob Marley, then acoustic guitar, now it's Ministry of Sound Chillout Sessions. She still took a while getting to sleep but at least she would lie down, relax and listen to the music. Tried a white noise soundtrack on YouTube but she really didn't like that very much. I also tried baby lullabies soundtracks and also seemed to dislike them too. Also, I found that as she has grown what once worked for her now doesn't and her preferences seem to change. So, experimenting is key I think.

@SSRainbow yes she can sit back down as does it around the house all the time. Has been pulling up on furniture and moving around for a while but in the last week or so has started walking properly so I did wonder if that has something to do with it. I tried leaving her to cry the other day but it was just escalating and no sign of her waivering. How long did u leave her to cry, and did you go in to her at all during that time?

@Oceanbliss yes she is definitely teething bless her. But even dosed up on calpol doesn't seem to help much (maybe a little). We've been using rain music since she was born, it's always worked amazingly but not even that works at the moment. I love the range of music your little one enjoys, how fab 😂

So today she went off for her first nap ok and then screamed the house down and didn't settle at all for afternoon nap. I resorted to rocking her in the end, which I haven't really done since she was tiny...and don't really want to start as she's too blooming heavy 😂

Dreading bedtime shortly as my tired brain can't handle the screaming and my sore back definitely can't take another bout of rocking 😢

Not sure why you would take away the dummy as one of her only comfort sources? Sorry no advice other than can you cuddle her to sleep? Or get a floor bed and cuddle and sneak away? Sounds like she needs comfort st the mo so I wouldn’t recommend taking away the dummy

Ugh sorry I totally crossed two posts :( but what I will say is 12 months is still incredibly young to no longer need you. I understand you are struggling but I would try to persevere if you can.

Bubbagirl yes it is fab, I'm a little bit proud of her good taste in music My dd liked being rocked to sleep too and my back is chronically sore. I bought a rocking chair and rocked her in that but found that she loved it so much that if I stopped rocking her (to get up and put her to bed) she'd wake up and look at me as if to say 'why'd you stop, come on keep rocking me.' So not sure I'd recommend it, unless you're ok with letting her sleep on you till she's in deep sleep. How old is your other daughter? Do they share a bedroom? Another option is co-sleeping.

@crazycatlady5 haha no worries, she's never taken a dummy so don't have that worry anyway.

@Oceanbliss my other daughter is 3.5, no they don't share (although she still managed to wake her screaming the other night 🤦‍♀️). We've tried a few times to bring dd2 in our bed but she just doesn't settle. She's sleep in me for maybe 30mins but then wakes and gets restless and if I lay her in our bed she doesn't very often settle at all. It feels like she wants to sleep in her bed but is just having trouble with the process of falling asleep and from around 3am staying asleep. The 3am wake up is becoming a habit and a struggle to get back off within an hour or two 😩 (hence my 4.45am msg!)

Thanks for all your msgs and advice. I'll just keep giving her what she needs and hope she eventually stops the middle of night waking and settling off for naps/bed a bit better 🤞

Goodluck Bubbagirl