Co-sleeping... exhausted

[Gobletoffire]

Hi. Our beautiful baby boy is only a few days old. My labour was two days long without any sleep and I haven’t been able to catch up on any at home yet either. I’m breastfeeding and he’s constantly latched onto the boob especially at night. We have a tutti bambini cozee bedside crib which is attached to our bed but as soon as he gets put down in it he cries instantly, he only wants to sleep when being held which was preventing me from getting any sleep. Last night I brought him into bed with me after following all the guidance about co sleeping from the lullaby trust - and he was settled and slept! (I didn’t because I was constantly checking he was ok). However because of the slight tilt of the mattress from my weight when I’m in the bed it means that he isn’t fully flat on his back, he’s half on his side (but I don’t think he’s completely on his side enough to manage rolling onto his front?!) so now I’m worried that I can’t co sleep if he won’t stay on his back? I have tried repositioning him but he still ends up rolling slightly due to the tilt of the mattress, it isn’t a really soft mattress and is quite firm.
My next thoughts are buying a sleepyhead and putting that in his crib but I’m worried it’ll be a waste of money if that doesn’t work either. What shall I do? Will he be ok co sleeping half lying on his side?

I have a tutti bambini and it took us about a week to get my son to settle in it (was in hospital for three nights then cluster feeding on sofa first two nights at home) but he’s now 4 months and has slept in it no problems ever since.

We found swaddling helped, I think because it helped him to feel secure and stopped him startling awake all the time. The first couple of nights I slept with a hand resting on his tummy to settle him but after two nights he was fine on his own.

I know lots of people like the sleepyheads but I have also heard people say that they struggle to get their babies to sleep without them once they are used to being in it and have a hard time weaning them out of it. We decided we’d rather persist without one and it worked.

That's how mine slept.

Absolutely would not sleep on his back (reflux and probable cmpa) so I used to role up a muslin and tuck in behind his lower back to keep him on his side.

I spent the first few weeks sitting up for feeds and spending ages winding and trying to resettle him in the bedside crib.
I then used to feed him in it and then role away with little more success.
Then hes just been in the bed with me.

His sleep has been atrocious (waking mostly after 30 mins to an hour for the first few weeks/months, and every 10/20/40 mins fir the last few months

Bed sharing has absolutely saved my health and my sanity.
I was a total wreck by about 6 weeks, was barely eating and having to force feed myself. Lost 2.5 stone by this point!.
I was often shaking with waves of adrenalin.

So since then we have bed shared fully.

If you can master side lying feeding and bed share safely then go for it!

We have lovely little baby mammals that just want to be close to mum

I would try a sleepyhead, that worked with my baby after he wouldn’t sleep in the next to me crib and wanted to be on me. If you don’t want to buy one then you can roll up towels and put them under his sheet in the shape of a sleepyhead. All I will say though is I received conflicting advice, my midwife told me he could sleep at night in the sleepyhead and told me that she used the rolled up towel trick but my health visitor told me that babies are not allowed to sleep unsupervised in the sleepyheads, meaning that at night he shouldn’t have really been in it, but it worked and he slept. The other thing I did was swaddling, he is now 12 weeks and still wants to be swaddled because his arms fling about and he wakes himself up but I don’t swaddle now i just have to persevere with getting him back off to sleep when he wakes!

I’m not sure about the dip in your bed and him rolling, I think I’d feel too anxious to sleep properly just in case he did roll! You really do need your sleep when you can. It’s so hard when they only want to sleep on you or in your bed.

I was about to say try a sleepy head.. got my overpriced but great. You can start in your bed then move over to side cot.

Your sleep is as important if not more important than your babies xx

Try swaddling. A swaddle sleeping bag would be much cheaper than a sleepyhead.

Congratulations

We had the sleepyhead, we set the bedside crib up so the sleepyhead edge was level with the mattress so I could feed her to sleep in bed and then slide her in once she was asleep. Also recommend a gro bag as soon as baby is big enough (8lb I think?) as makes the sliding easier. We tried swaddling until then but it was hit and miss and she liked waving her arms when she fed (which was constantly).

Swaddling worked for me! Had an awful first night 😂😂😂 laughing now but frantic at the time. Congrats OP!

It doesn’t sound like your mattress is firm enough. My mattress doesn’t tilt the baby towards me. I wouldn’t cosleep in the situation you’ve described.

Agree your mattress is too soft. I've always Co slept but my lo manages to move closer and closer to me in the night, by the time I'm awake she's practically on top of me.
I would change the mattress or get a firm mattress topper. Other than that a Sleepyhead but in the long run probably more cost effective to change the mattress.

So feel for you! We had the same thing. And I loved sleeping with her so I put her in a sleepyhead in bed next to me so I knew she was safe but still next to me. Continued that way until she grew out of it. Was lovely! Good luck!

Sleepyhead is a good suggestion. It worked for me for maybe 2 months. Dd our grew it. Then I went onto swaddle - the swaddle me swaddle is much better than using a blanket imo. I remember those nights when dd would be awake every 1-2 hours and by the time I'd settled her back to sleep I'd only get 45 minute stretches of sleep at night

Sometimes I co sleep with dd since she's still not sleeping through the night although now at 8'montjs old she sleeps for 5 hour stretches

I've heard great things about the GrowSwaddle from The Grow Company, might do the trick helping to keep him feeling secure? Also we bought a Sleepyhead second hand from eBay as was cheaper, they are fab. HV probably won't ok it for night times to cover their own back due to risk of baby getting face pressed up against the sides. But im sure LO is too small to roll anywhere? Hope you find a solution and manage to get some sleep.

gro.co.uk/product/groswaddle/

Absolutely a Sleepyhead. My 4 month old self settles like a dream in hers by rubbing her face against it 😂

I’m currently on the look out for a second hand Grand one for when she outgrows the Deluxe. Might be cowardly, but I’m waiting till she’s old enough to understand English before I try taking it away. Sleep wins for me!