Help! Cluster feeding from 5pm - gone midnight

[thelittlesausage]

Hi,

I have a 4 week old newborn. I am breastfeeding. She feeds regularly during the daytime every 2-3 hours. But then 5pm hits and she is constantly wanting the breast. But she becomes very fussy , so latching on and off , sometimes letting out a small cry whilst on the breast , heavy breathing (like panting) throwing arms into the air and looking frustrated . I thought it might be that my milk flow was too slow and she was getting cross . I've given her formula as a top up in case she is just really hungry , but she hardly drank any of it! She's now back on my breast and is finally at long last falling asleep on it . I will now try to put her back in the Moses basket and hope she stays asleep.
Sorry for the terrible grammar and sentences in this I am incredibly sleep deprived !!

What can I do to help this? Everyone tells me cluster feeding is normal and good - but this is more like comfort feeding surely ? What's the difference ?

Have you rang one of the breastfeeding helplines? They can be really helpful. If she is still establishing your supply, formula will make the issue worse rather than better.

Is she growing well?
It sounds really exhausting for you. My DD is 4 months and it does get better! All the best xx

Some of the being fussy on the breast thing is normal, I'm afraid. Don't ask me why but both of mine have been like that for a few hours in the evening for the first couple of months. It's like they're overtired but can't stop wanting to feed so they get stuck in a loop of hunger and tiredness until they finally conk out.

Things which have helped:

Feeding lying down. Seems to help them drop off for a micro snooze.

Feeding while standing/walking. This takes practice but does help, especially to get them started. You can usually sit once they're properly feeding.

Patting their bum or jiggling them while feeding.

Motion in general: a bouncer chair, a swing, being rocked etc.

Giving them to my partner for some pacing and singing while I shower/eat/stare into space. Not sure this one helps them but it does help me!

I promise you it will get better, and fairly soon too. In the meantime if they're gaining weight ok and sleeping a bit when they're finally done feeding there's probably not actually anything to worry about. You're doing really well 👍

Mine was like that at that age, I think it’s pretty normal for them to be a bit fussy and want to cluster feed in the evenings. I just resigned myself to spending my evenings on the sofa and would get drinks/snacks ready and find something good to watch on tv. He grew out of it by about 7-8 weeks.

Mine was like that, it's completely normal. They know they'll want more milk the next day so have to suckle to put their order in with your boobs. Hang on in there, breastfeeding honestly gets so much easier than this and if you keep going you'll reap the rewards of just having milk whenever needed and not having to sterilise anything.
Can you shower in the mornings and get your partner to feed you dinner? Make sure you're eating and drinking enough, this stage is exhausting. I'd second what another poster said about just going to bed and feeding lying down. Then put a film on the iPad or something, I think we watched all the back issues of Inbetweeners and loads of reality tv.

I could of written this post myself as what you are describing is exactly what has happened with my 2 week old son the last couple of nights. I can cope with the constant feeding if it settles him but the pulling on and off the breast is so frustrating and making me think he is getting frustrated with breast feeding as well and like I should just give up!

Donnadon, if that's the only thing making you feel you should stop please don't: I absolutely promise you it's normal, it's not a reflection of you or how they feel about breastfeeding, and it'll end pretty soon. It's kind of the worst last thing about breastfeeding - once that's over its fully cemented and becomes really lovely. They get fussy again if they're ill but the rest of the time it's just easy (and free). You're super close.

Of course if it's not the only reason and you feel ready to stop otherwise then ignore me - just didn't want you to stop because of something normal and temporary if you don't really want to :)

I'm going to persevere with it, it's only been about a week of him fussing in the evening but it's so relentless and can last till the early hours. Seeing this thread has come at the right time for me as genuinely thought DS wasn't enjoying breast feeding either, hopefully this doesn't last much longer as really want to continue

Fingers crossed for you.

I think this is really normal. One thing that helped me was to go upstairs to the bedroom and make it dim and quiet. She seemed to get a little overwhelmed by the light and activity downstairs. She’s 12 weeks now and has set her own bedtime of 8pm.

Just chiming in to add to the voices saying hang in there!! My dd is 6 weeks old and just coming out the other side of this.

With regard to fussing on the breast, it could well be to do with your supply settling. In my case, I have oversupply and a fast letdown, so dd ends up spluttering and coming off frequently, getting frustrated and needed winding and settling, then more feeding - it was a constant, frustrating cycle! But it's already getting better and our evenings are much calmer.

Honestly the best thing is to anticipate it and settle in with snacks, drinks, tv so that your comfortable to feed as often as needed. Remember, as frustrating as comfort feeding seems, it's all signalling to your breasts that milk is needed so it's really good for your supply.

Mine did this too, spoke with an IBCLC and learned It was a sign of being overtired. If Baby was on and off the breast and iconsolable, DH would take the baby and rock/shush and usually bub would fall asleep then. (If not it was true cluster feeding.)

I remember that stage. It's funny that they all seem to do it.
What helped me was giving baby to dh who would rock her/ walk with her etc until she slept. It's like smelling the milk made them restless but too tired to sleep. She wouldn't cry either dh so that seemed to work.

This is normal. Babies feed at night to boost your supply, and she's having a growth spurt. Is she in bed with you? Co-sleeping helped me get sleep.