Good Morning Mummas!
My first ever post on here, I’m sorry if this post is so long but I’m desperate for some advice / words of encouragement about our sleep situation :( I feel like a zombie and not sure how much longer I can cope! I’m miserable all the time and I feel like I’m ruining my baby’s babyhood by being so sad tired and miserable 24/7. My son is 7.5 months old. The longest stretch of sleep he has EVER done was 7pm - 1pm ( he did this for three nights then stopped) I am currently co-sleeping out of sheer desperation as I am waking up 5+ times a night, every night! My partner works 6 days a week as a scaffolder, so he has only done two night shifts since baby has been born as it’s ‘dangerous’ for him to not get enough sleep... something I’m very bitter about but am fed up of arguing over.
My baby is breastfed, eats three solid meals a day, takes brilliant day naps ( 1 x 1.5hr, 1 x 1 hour and 1 x 30 minutes cat nap in early eve) he only does this because I literally lay with him IN THE DARK, for ALL naps as I’m a sleep obsessed lunatic! If I leave him I’m lucky to get 3 half an hours a day and he is a cranky overtired mess all day and sleep is even worse at night... if that’s even possible 
He has a lovey blanket, dummy, white noise, black out blind... I’ve tried everything I can think off ... nothing helps. What kills me is he can SELF SETTLE he does it at night before bed... so why the hell cant he do it for naps / during night wake ups!!! I thought this self settle was the golden bloody ticket but NO!
I force myself to go to mum clubs, baby clubs, swimming... but I’m so sleep deprived that I can’t even hold a decent conversation / get any enjoyment from it. I just go through the motions. Wishing for bed time and my hour and a half of peace, before the night shift of hell begins 
I have no1 who will take baby for the night - grandparents etc. And I just feel like I’m spiralling into depression DP leaves at 6am for work and is back at 6pm at night he barely sees the baby Monday - Friday! Saturday he does a half day and is home at 2pm... but offers very little help with DS. I’m basically a single mum!
I love my baby, he’s so cute and lovely... I adore him! but he was a total surprise, sometimes I find myself resenting him and wishing he wasn’t here 
I’m so ashamed of these feelings... but I am really not enjoying motherhood! I don’t think I have had more than two hours straight in months. My DP tells me to nap in the day... but I don’t think he understands the level of sleep deprivation... an hours nap in the day isn’t going to make a dent in this!!!
I used to be so happy and full of life, now I have nothing interesting to say to anyone. I don’t feel like me anymore. Is this normal? Will this get better? Will I ever enjoy mum life???? I don’t want to do CIO but I do think about it sometimes in desperate moments.... I just want my life back
Sorry to spill my heart out but none of my close friends have babies and my mum friends all have great sleepers!! which makes me so bitter and twisted and feel like a broken record moaning to them about it as they just don’t understand
I feel like a total failure and just wish this was all a bad dream sometimes....