15 weeks old waking in the night

[Italianshark]

We just thought she'd cracked it. Was sleeping 7:30-6:30 mostly. Sometimes till 5 but would then go back off after a bottle. Now she's up at 2/3 again for a bottle then passes back out.

Is this a example of us having to now introduce a 10pm dream feed? I've tried it before and she just gags 😕

Sucks to be you if your babies up all the night. Sorry that mines not 🤷🏻‍♀️.

All three of mine were sleeping 6pm - 6am by 12 weeks at the latest. It's only recently that prolonged night waking has become normalised. I wonder what has changed?

People feed on demand, don't let little babies cry and don't put them down to sleep in dangerous positions (on their front). It probably means they wake more during the night. It's also much better for their development and, in the last case, has drastically reduced the cot death rate. That seems like quite a good trade-off to me...

Sucks to be you if your babies up all the night. Sorry that mines not 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wow, I read this thread feeling a bit sorry for you that people were piling on, but you're not helping yourself here, are you?!

15 weeks is VERY early to get smug...!

Sleep isn't linear, there are plenty of potential regressions to go

Newaccount, there's nothing wrong with my children's development, thank you very much.
Also not sure that there is any correlation between babies sleeping on their fronts and sounder sleeping? Happy to be corrected.

Actually I have just remembered all of mine were put to sleep on their backs, as the Back to Sleep campaign was launched before my oldest was born.

A gentle reminder that it’s not developmental normal for a child to some times need a parent a durring the night until 7 years.

One night waking at 15 weeks sounds amazing to me!!
My youngest is 2 and a half and is still up once on a good night!
There is a notorious development leap around the 4 month mark, and it usually throws their sleep patterns off. Some babies go into a weird little funk for a few weeks, then it settles again into a more regular pattern. Other babies decide that sleep is for the weak, and not an essential part of sustaining human life I’ve had two babies of the latter variety!

Most babies do sleep more soundly on their front - it's one reason why people did it (and why quite a lot still do it, despite the warnings). I'm sure your individual children are fine (and this is the whole problem with trying to change advice on babies to fit new research - people are very resistant to hearing that what they did isn't in accordance with what research has shown is best practice) but there's a reason that the NHS now advise demand feeding and answering the cries of a newborn immediately whenever possible.

When I moaned about broken nights to my DM and DMil both told me that they didn't have nights through until we were at school. That was considered normal 60 years ago. Some babies are better at sleeping than others and they all have phases where they wake more often.

I think previous generations started weaning earlier? Even between my 2 children who are 12 and 8 the guidelines changed from advising weaning at 17 weeks to waiting til 6 months.

All three of mine were sleeping 6pm - 6am by 12 weeks at the latest. It's only recently that prolonged night waking has become normalised. I wonder what has changed?

Probably the advice not to leave your baby to cry, not to give them water “so it’s not worth waking up for”, and not sticking to a rigid feeding schedule.

This was all advice my mum was given. Plus the leaving babies in their prams at the bottom of the garden so you couldn’t hear them if they woke before their next scheduled feed.

There was also much talk of “rods for your own back” and babies manipulating adults if you were demand-led.

My mum tells the tale of me crying all night with her sat on the stairs listening. I had to “learn” that no one would come if I cried in the night. At 8 weeks old. It took me 3 nights before i gave up.

Personally i think it’s probably one of the saddest things i’ve ever heard when young babies learn no one comes when they cry.

Just to add out of my children the one who was weaned earliest was still waking at 6 years old, the other slept through at 6 months!

@reallyanotherone took the words out of my mouth!!

reallyanotherone reading that makes my stomach churn
My youngest is 2 and a half, and I still couldn’t imagine leaving him to cry when he wakes in the night.
I know the things you describe was all advice given by professionals, but surely mothers must have felt the same way as us? Listening to your tiny 8 week old baby cry until they give up would surely be brutal for mum and baby no matter what

My babies are 29, 25, 22 and nearly 21. All slept through at different times, the 22 year old was nearly 18 months before a full night - just weeks before the 21 year old was born!
Don't recall any of my friends at the time with similar age babies having them sleeping through at 12 weeks tbh.
No real advice other than just go with the flow, they are tiny for such a short time and just focus on each day (and night) as it comes

Bear in mind that lots of parents didn’t leave babies to cry-parents haven’t changed that much! Some did- but some still do.

My mother had her first baby in 1943 and said she never left him to cry.

It's only recently that prolonged night waking has become normalised. I wonder what has changed?

No, it's only very, very recently, in human terms, that people have had expectations that "sleeping through the night" was some kind of important milestone and a normal and desirable thing for small babies to be doing. And it has a lot to do with the obsession with sleep training and routine.

I don't sleep through the night at nearly 30.... I can self settle.... babies can't.
It's not a competition. My 8 month old woke up 5 times last night. He is teething. He was down to one waking at 6 months. Babies change and develop quickly and so does their sleep.

Apart from anything else, it’s only very recently that most people have had anywhere out of earshot to leave a crying baby to cry.....

Bear in mind that lots of parents didn’t leave babies to cry-parents haven’t changed that much! Some did- but some still do.

Yes, sorry, I did make it sound universal and of course it wasn't. Neither my brother or I were left to cry, and nor was DH. Certainly none of us slept through the night at 12 weeks, though - I slept through from about 10 months, apparently, whereas for both my brother and DH it was measured in years not months!

Babies wake at night. It’s normal for them to wake. You’ve clearly got a very ‘good’ sleeper if they only wake once but it’s early days to be too smug about it, things can change a lot as they go through different developmental stages. Even my eldest who slept through from 12 weeks went through occasional periods of night waking until over 2. My youngest favoured being awake a lot of the night until over 2. I didn’t do anything particularly different, it just depends on the individual baby.

My mother had her first baby in 1943 and said she never left him to cry

I think it’s a generational, and possibly class thing.

Babies born in the 40’s and 50’s were still post- war and probably the wisdom being passed was from a generation where women took babies to work and breast fed.

I was born in the 70’s- my mum was aspirational working class so was told all “the latest” science around childcare. She was also one who moved away for her husbands career so more reliance on health care professionals and less on family. This involved breastfeeding being unhygienic, with formula being better in terms of knowing all the nutritional content and being able to give measured amounts so you knew they weren’t being over or underfed.

Knock on being because you knew they’d had the “right” amount of milk, if they woke up they couldn’t be hungry. Then there was the idea that if you did you to them or “give in” you’d end up with some kind of mummy’s boy or girl who would never leave home and become independent.

We were 80s babies. I have no idea how common or not common DM and DMIL's approach was - they're the only two women of their age I've ever discussed baby care in detail with, but they're quite similar (ie they're both middle class hippies) so I'm not claiming to have a representative sample!