VERY bad sleep regression 22 month old- very sudden. Help!

[ptiger74]

Having big sleep problems with my 22 month old, a previously brilliant sleeper and self soother who has changed over night.

Out of the blue he screams and cries for hours constantly every evening. He can go for hours on end. Only giving in to sleep as one of us will sit with him or sleep on the floor of his room. Even then he checks constantly that we are there still. The sleep will only last 1-2 hours then the same again, hours of tears until morning. It has been a week now and seems to be getting worse.

We have a consistent calm bedtime routine, no electronics, nice bath, book, milk and kiss goodnight as always.

Tried bringing bedtime forward or making it later.

We do a version of controlled crying, 5/7/10 min intervals. Sometimes longer.

He will not lay down in his cot. So cannot do pick up/put down. He just stands and cries.

Naps at nursery are absolutely fine strangely, he goes down without a fuss there as normal. But will not nap with us now unless in motion.

He is not ready to drop a nap yet. Still suffers without enough sleep.

He drinks lactose free milk as has a slight allergy to lactose and cannot digest it. As far as we know there are not physical reasons for this.

Could be teething a little but is fine during the day, just upset when in his cot.

Does not want to be hugged, resists- just points to the door to get up.

Will not sleep in our bed, will want to get up.

Has a nightlight
Has a white noise machines

We think we have thought of everything. But open to suggestions.
All online advice assumes the toddler will give in to sleep eventually but ours does not and we have the routine and all the things we should do in place.

Basically nothing has changed so we do not know the trigger or the solution. We have read about cognitive leaps and milestones, sounds plausible. But we are at our wits end seeing our poor boy go on crying for hours on end. He has an 8 year old sister and this is effecting her sleep also which we cannot have for much longer.
Does any of you have any tips?
Has this happened to anybody with their little ones? It would be reassuring to know!
Thank you and sorry for the ramble.

Oh goodness, that sounds awful!

I’d guess something is making him unhappy, either physically (an illness or teething looming?) or emotionally (developmental leaps can make them feel suddenly alone and vulnerable).

Are you able to ride it out? I have a mattress in my DDs room for bad nights. It’s not an ideal situation, but you could do a controlled withdrawal style? E.g. a week where you just get him really really comfortable by whatever he needs e.g. you sleeping on the floor mattress. Then you try being in the room but not asleep and tell him you’ll come back and sleep there later (which you’d have to stick to for a couple of nights). Then you sit till he’s asleep and then tell him you’re just sleeping in the next room (or wherever your room is). I know it’s a huge presumption on you, and you probably feel like it’s a step back from where he was with self-settling, but you sound anxious afbout the effect it’s having on your other DC

Thanks so much crazychemist. We do have a pull out bed we’ve dragged into his room, didn’t want to make a rod for our own backs with this- but have just had to use it to put a stop to the hours on end screaming and give our daughter some sleep (as well as save our sanity). Maybe you’re right, we should just give whatever he needs and then slowly withdraw it. The other thing is, whilst he does seem to understand us a bit, his speech is a little delayed. And whilst some of what we say goes in, we can’t be sure, especially when he’s hysterical. So I’m not sure if saying ‘mummy will just be downstairs’ etc will even make sense to him. I suspect he just thinks we are abandoning him? So strange and so out of the blue. Maybe we just throw caution to the wind and set up camp in his room and hope it passes soon. Thanks for your support x

Sounds like he's more aware of things going on around him. Also wondering about shadows.

I have always initially given them what they wanted to get sleep into them and then tackle it. Agree that something like gradual retreat could help.