Sleep training

[Cmmcgarry87]

Hello all

My baby boy is 6 months old next week, at bedtime he has a bath, bottle then I have to cuddle him till he goes to sleep then bed, otherwise he won't sleep, He then wakes in the night and won't settle until he has a bottle. In the day he will only sleep in my arms if I put him down he wakes 10mins later screaming. I'm a first time mum and my mum has passed so not had much guidance. My husband is working away so this routine has to stop. Me and my partner have never had an evening off because he just won't settle with anyone else. I spoke to the health visitor and she said I need to bottle, bath, cuddle then put him down and let him settle himself then the daytime naps will follow. She said it will be a battle of the wills but worth it!
So my question is when I 1st do this and he eventually goes off, when he wakes in the night do I initially feed him for the 1st few days and hope he will just drop this feed when he's settled or do the same then?
Also has anyone tried this and how has it worked for them?

Your health visitor is basically recommending you leave your baby to cry it out. Some people do this however, IMHO, it seems pretty harsh & lots of people are uncomfortable doing so.

I'd recommend the book "Your sleepless baby" by Rowena Bennett. I have used her technique of responsive settling which was very effective for us. We have gone from hourly wake ups to once/twice per night. I still BF overnight but this works for us so far. I should note that my baby has always settled easily for naps. Her technique basically encourages you to interpret your baby's cry. It will get easier!

We’ve used controlled crying with DD2 - not fun and didn’t feel like a great parenting moment, but we had gotten at a stage where we were all crying (her, me and DP) as we were so stressed and sleep deprived.
You might want to try that at first rather than full on CIO (cry it out).
We did maintain a feed at 1AM the first days, but soon realized she didn’t actually need it.
As PP said, there are also more gentle techniques, but the one we tried didn’t work for us.
Mine is a good napper during the day, generally.

Everything you say is totally normal for a 6 month old. They are unlikely to drop night feeds even if you start weaning.

I found about 10 months ish my baby would sleep more deeply for naps so I could move him off me in the daytime.

Or you could try pushchair naps, taking them for a walk until they doze off, but in this weather you need to become a coat removal ninja once you get home. And that's tricky and they often wake at 6 months.

It's not for long, why does it have to stop?

We had a similar situation with day time naps (night wasn't so bad). I had to leave him to self settle during the day, I wouldn't call it CIO method. More a five min cry, reducing to a grizzle then sleep. To the point where he now goes off to sleep in the day. Before that I was having to rock him to sleep and hold for the duration of the naps. I was a shell of my former self.

For the night when I felt he was ready to lose the last feed, I switched it for water. He didn't wake for it again.

Thanks everyone for your replies, I tried it tonight and he screamed consistently for an hour until I couldn't take it anymore and picked him up, even going in wouldn't settle him, I thought the neighbours might ring the police at one point.

I will get the book and maybe try the stay in the room approach.

The reason I'm doing this is because from when he wakes at half 6 in the morning I literally don't have a minute to have a shower/look acceptable because if I put him in his chair he tries to fling himself out and in his cot he screams until I pick him up and gets his legs caught through the bars from throwing himself about. If I can get him to least have one nap without being held a day I can get myself straight.

Yeah it's tough not having an me time. I used put him in his stander in the doorway of the bathroom whilst I showered, from about 6.5 months. And play nursery rhymes on my phone ( music not video). It took a little while to get used to the stander, had to do it with me there a few times. I would put different toys on the tray each day. The thing I had wasn't one that jumps but similar to a jumperoo.