Will I be rocking him when he's 20!

[Wingingit9212]

Desperately looking for some sleep advice re my 12 mo son.
He always used to be a good sleeper; falling asleep in my arms for naps and then happily falling asleep in his Moses basket for the night (he never cried) but somewhere along the way we've fallen into the trap of getting him to sleep by pushing him in his pram. I don't know when but I know it's the worst parenting decision we've made to date. Team his reliance on being pushed, with what appears to be a sleep regression at the moment and it's pretty intense!
He's 1 next week and I feel as though something has to change, like the title says, I'm worried we'll be doing this forever! so any advice would be gratefully appreciated! I'm not overly comfortable with the idea of controlled crying... I've tried rocking him in my arms, it just winds him up and makes him scream. meaning someone caves along the way and pops him in his buggy, I've also tried stroking him in his cot and that can take hours. I'm really at a loss.
Hugely regretting that first push in the buggy at the mo.
TIA x

Sleep training (controlled crying - going in to settle every 5 mins) is an easy and kind way to sort his sleep out within a few days x

Be kind to yourselves, you made the best decision you could in the circumstances at the time. Now the circumstances have changed so you need a new plan, that's all. Some babies are just really sleep resistant. If all mine had been like DS3 j would have thought I was the second coming of Gina Ford, but my other 3 have been various levels of tricky, despite the same approach every time.

You won't be rocking him when he's 20! How determined are you to make a change? At 12 months he's old enough to withstand some crying so if you are beyond exhausted and need a dramatic change, some of my friends have used The Sleepeasy Solution. Or if you want a more gentle approach and don't mind being more patient, the No Cry Sleep Solution (and the No Cry Toddler Sleep Solution) have been good for us.

www.amazon.co.uk/Love-You-Forever-Robert-Munsch/dp/0920668372?tag=mumsnetforum-21

I was given this book as it's apparently "so sweet you'll cry". Creepiest kids book ever!!

You won't be rocking him at 20. (Unless you're the mum in this book??)

I fed mine to sleep for way too long. Total crutch. Bad decision. But it stopped. It took a few nights in a row (can't totally remember, but between 1-2 weeks) of determinedly sitting there stroking and shushing (I couldn't face leaving mine to cry for any length of time with me waiting outside the door. They still cried a bit when I wouldn't give in a feed them but at least I felt I was there to comfort them thru it. That's just personal choice though. I'm sure it doesn't actually harm them to cry a bit.).

By the end of the 2 or so weeks, they were falling asleep on their own.

It is possible to break habits, even when it seems insurmountable. Good luck!

I know how you feel!
I came to the decision of trying something new when I realised I was walking around in circles for 45mins or more per night to get her to sleep! This was not sustainable, and so we gave controlled crying a go AND moved her to her own room, where it is quieter.
The first night is heart-wrenching! Took about 45 minutes, but she eventually fell asleep. However, it was half the time on the second night, and 5 mins on the third night! We have been away 2 weekends, and upon coming back, she falls asleep in minutes now making no fuss at all. It was SO worth it.
Having gone through Day 1 to Day 6 of the Ferber method when we first started, and having gone back to it after a few weekends away, I would definitely say that there is no need in letting them cry more than 5 mins before first checking on them. Day 1 works well, then Day 2 timings thereafter.
This system is also something that can be easily carried out by a family member/friends/nannies should they take over from you at anytime, which also gives you some degree of freedom!
Really hope this helps!

@changingweather it is the creapiest book ever! Currently being passed around my friend group they all agree

She climbed through his window at night????!! 😱 in the YouTube version I just watched there were creaking sound effects when the rocking was going on. Who would think this was cute?! Terrifying.

Thanks everyone. We're really determined to make a change and maybe, like has been said, now he's a bit older those approaches would be a bit better. DH is on rest days and earlies this week and we have every evening together, so I think we'll start tonight. At least we'll have each other for support!

XX