Desperate & exhaused 1yr old not sleeping

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Hi all,
My son is 13 months and is a nighmare at bed time! Im so exhausted i just dont know how i can possibly go on any more, im physically and mentally drained at this point and really dont know where to turn, i have tried everything. My son has never been a good sleeper and has never slept through, not even once. I think i would be able to cope if he was having a couple of hours together at least, but he is not. He has got a lot worst the past couple of months aswell. He is currently waking up every 30 minutes and drinking a whole 6oz of milk, and i kid you not, every. half. hour. He is screaming the place down untill he gets a bottle, i have tried everything, ive tried giving him water and juice, he just screams and screams untill he gets milk, i have tried letting him cry and he never stops! He can go for hours and hours screaming, which is not practical for me as i live in a flat and have to be considerate to neighbours (who have no children) even more so that i am on a starter tenancy at the moment which means i definitely do not need to have noise complaints, and he gets seriously loud, and does not stop! I have to get up every half hour and make him a bottle, then try to settle him back to sleep. He goes to bed around 10pm, he now sleeps in my bed as he how all of a sudden hates his cot the past couple of months and does a harrowing scream when i even attempt to put him in there, i have tried to just put him in his cot & leave but all he does is scream and cry and get himself in an awful state, he has screamed for over two hours before when i have tried to settle him in his cot. Ive tried everything, i sing to him which helps a bit, but doesnt stop him from re waking. He wakes up for good around 6.30am, sometimes i have managed to get him to sleep untill around 7.30-8am but thats rare (such as today!) i have been up since 6am with him, and he has been up allll night - he is still whingy now and it is safe to say i am utterly exhausted and im really not sure how he is functioning with with lack of sleep! He has around 1.5-2 hours sleep during the day.. i have also tried to cut this down! But it doesnt work he either just keeps falling back to sleep sitting up or will cry untill he goes to bed. I have no life any more, im too tired to do anything during the day and me and my partner have split up because of it! I need some advice please!! Any advice welcome!! (Also i took him to my gp, and she said he seems healthy, and shes unsure why he is waking so much).

He sounds hungry! What's his eating like on the day

Mine is the same. Wakes every hour and wants milk, screams the house down if he doesn’t get it. Wont go in his cot, is hysterical if I take him anywhere near it. I can barely function I’m so tired. He’s not a good eater, I give him large meals but he eats a bit then won’t open his mouth any more. He mostly lives on yogurt as he’ll usually eat that if he rejects his meal. I’m afraid I don’t know what the solution is

He is eating alot, he has breakfast, lunch, dinner (and dessert) and lots of snacks throughout the day. For breakfast he has cereal, crumpets or toast, For lunch he usually has something like pasta with cheese & broccli or a sandwich & yogurt and for dinner he has a full hot cooked meal (whatever i am cooking).

10pm bedtime is way to late - he sounds over tired
At this age you should be starting bedtime routine around 6:30 for a 7pm lights out - bath story etc etc
Also make sure lots of fresh air in the day, no tv to close to bed
I think you're going to have to cope with a bit of crying at bedtime to start with but id imagine crying at 7pm will be far less annoying to your neighbours than at 10pm

Velvet pinnapple, it is so so hard, i feel you! My son didnt used to eat well at all either its only the past few months hes started to eat all of his meals - but it still hasnt helped with the night feeds :( i am utterly exhausted, it sounds asif you are experiencing the excact same problem, it is nice to know that i am not alone and others are going through this to, i am going insane, i can barely function, i truly did not believe it would ever be this hard.

I have tried to get him into an earlier routine, i have tried night after night to get him into bed for around 8pm, i will give him a bath settle him down and put a blanket over him but he just pops straight back up and screams untill he can barley even scream any more, he is making himself poorly from it. He gives himself a sore throat from crying so much, its horrible, i feel so sorry for him but i dont know what else i can do. The crying is none stop, like i said, it has gone past 2 hours of him crying when left, and he would cry for a lot longer had i let him.

I'm really sorry. How horrible for you. Being ground down with your own lack of sleep is wretched.
I really hope my random suggestions don't upset you or patronise you or piss you off.
Do you manage to get him out in fresh air during the day? I know how bloody tiring this is and probably the last thing you want to do. Just looking at ways of burning off some of his energy (and I know it saps yours doing it).
Can you try to nudge him towards an earlier bedtime- my dd was a terrible eater so I don't know that works for you but a rice/pasta meal with some chicken kind of thing at a set (ish) time and then bath /wash and bed. I used to sing particular songs at particular times so she knew what the next steps were. All TV/devices off at that time. I also read to her to help with the wind down.
It sometimes didn't work and I inwardly tore my hair out. But mostly a gentle routine like this did.
I also gave her tooth powders or anbesol- I'm sure teething was adding to any problems.
I hope you find a way through that works. I'm sure any reasonable neighbours will just be thinking "thank god it's not me dealing with it".

OP I just want to give you a big virtual
Hug!

I sadly have no soloution and selfishly I am praying my baby boy doesn’t start with the 30 min feeds, ... and I will be keeping an eye on things to see what the soloutions are just encase but my god how hard going!!

I heard my brother in law was a constant cryer day and night and then at 2 years it stopped and he was an complete angel 😇

Maybe it will be magic for you at say 14 and half months.

I am sure you have already tried it but have you tried hungray any milk ... I know technically he should be on cows milk but put no cost on sleep my health visitor said there isn’t much difference between stage 1 and stage 2 milk so doubt it can hurt to much ( try an ready bottle for first feed at night and see if it helps? )

I know some babies are different my little one didn’t sleep ful stop for the first month just cried ( if I had one hour kip it was to be celebrated) but thankfully touch wood it has improved and I get at least 4 hours 🤞

My friend has a 4 week old and he sleeps 8:30pm to 3:30pm before he needs anymore and has done that from week one 🙄

I guess we all have different babies and j just hope yours finds his 💤 mojo soon ... do you go to bed with him for naps and an earlier bed time? X x ( work permitting )

So sorry you are doing this on your own you are amazing and doing a great job x x

Hi, yes although i am so exhausted during the day and i dont want to do anything, i have to take him out because i dont want him stuck in and i feel bad for him, i take him to play groups and for walks or to a play area. I make sure he goes out for a walk each day at least though. It is tidying and cleaning i just feel to exhausted to do during the day. I find myself drinking caffine trying to help me but then i just feel more rotten after a while. I have to wait for him to go to bed to wash up and clean his bottles. I have tried endlessly to get him in an earlier routine as it would benefit me so much aswell, but he wont settle for it, i have tried turning the tv of for hours before bed time and just showing him books and trying to lie down but he just resists and wants to get up. Its like he controls everything i know, it sounds so silly that i cant manage to get my one year old baby to do something, but i am honestly struggling. I probably sound so pathetic, sorry for the rant!

Does he have milk in the day?

Sympathies, I’ve a terrible sleeper who doesn’t go to bed until 9 pm, tried earlier bedtimes and all that happens is we get up earlier.
If he’s teething try calpol before bed, in fact try it anyway sometimes it makes them sleep better. Ibuprofen liquid is also worth a try.
Instead of offering milk try a pouch of baby food, something like beef stew and just a drink as it’s more filling than milk. Once you break the cycle of frequent waking for milk it’s easy to stop the baby food.
Is he too warm or too cold? And the final one does he poo during the day, if my DS goes to bed and hasn’t been that day it’ll be a bad night.

Could be be waking just out of habit for the milk? I'm sure I've read night feeds aren't needed at this age.You might have to go cold turkey but it could help if he knows he can't have milk

I don’t know whether this is much help but could you do sleep training? I’ve seen adverts on Facebook. I think one may be called little ones. And a white noise machine? I have Ollie the Owl that’s brilliant because it plays white noise and lullaby’s.