4 months sleep regression

[Clementine04]

Hi, I need some moral support or words of advise or both.
My baby is very nearly 5 months old, and for the past 5 weeks has been going through a sleep regression. She never manages to fall asleep alone, I always feed her to sleep, but there was a time around 3month, when she slept fpr 10 -11 hours a night without any waking. I obviously naively assumed this was solved...and enjoyed feeling fresh and energised. Now the sleep regression means waking every 1.5 hours, on a good day every 2 hours, on a bad day every 20 min. I am shattered after 5 weeks of this, and to be honest don't feel very hopefully this will pass, as some told me, by 6 weeks. I am worried I have given her bad sleep associations: i.e. nursing to sleep. She is certainly looking for it every time now, and is still unable to self soothe. She doesn't even like a pram much, although recently started to get used to it sometimes. I am not sure what to do, whether to just wait it out, or start doing something more proactive. Any advice or experience shared would be hugely appreciated! Thanks

And I am so tired it took me about 30min to work out how to add this thread...

I'm sorry I can't help but I can empathise! 17 week old doing exactly the same - best stretch we get is when I put him down and that might be two hours but then it's 40 min-1 hr 20 through the night, feeding or walking to sleep each time. I'm exhausted.
Not sure if it's better or worse but he's never done more than 5 hrs as a stretch even as a newborn 😩 will follow for any suggestions!
Ps he generally naps for 30-40 mins through the day and I put him down as soon as he yawns which is every hour and a half-two hours.

I remember posting on here when my DS was 4 months going through that sleep regression.. he woke every half hour at one point for about 2 weeks, I figured at that point in time the best thing I could do was feed him.. so once he had got through the every half hour wakings and could sleep for longer again, I ended up feeding him probably twice during the night and it helped fill his belly and he would settle for a while longer. Other than that, keep going and pushing through. Baby is changing and developing so much at this stage and their little brains are in over drive and they just want their mummy (although all we want is sleep at that time of night, I know!). Do what you need to do, don't worry about forming habits, if baby wants a cuddle, a feed or even just their dummy putting in a 100 times a night, just go with it. Mine eventually started to improve around the 6 month mark for about a month! Even had a few nights where he slept all night. At 7 months he went downhill again for a few weeks and he's now 8 months and improved massively (just had 4 nights of sleeping all night, first time he's ever done that). Sleeps so important so just do what you've got to do. Hope this brings some support

Massive sympathies! DD had all - all - her naps from 3.5 months to 5.5 months in a sling, while moving, outside. In Nov/Jan. Then one day it just stopped. But while it was going on, my God, it was horrendous - the neighbours would come out with tea for me while I marched up and down!

She is now 17 months and today slept 2.5 hours in her own bed. It will pass.

I'm in the same boat. My DS was sleeping 4-5hr stretches but since he turned 16 weeks sleep has been more interrupted. Last night he was waking up every hr and by morning time I was shattered and had a little cry. Then looked at his smiling face and decided to just soldier on.

I guess it'll just pass. I feed my DS to sleep and will just wait until he decides he wants to sleep more..that's the plan for now anyway.

It'll pass- it's hard and I know this doesn't make it any easier- but it'll pass. You haven't given her any negative sleep associations, she's waking because she's still tiny and developing fast. Do whatever works to get you both the maximum amount of sleep possible, go with it and be kind to yourself.

Thank you everyone for sharing your own experience and also your empathy. It really helps to hear things do change and that I shouldn’t feel guilty about my ways of coping...really appreciate this.

For what it's worth I breastfed my DD to sleep for every nap and bedtime for two years because it worked, it was quick and easy. She is now 3 and sleeps happily 12 hours a night in her own bed, falls asleep on her own, puts herself back to sleep and hasn't been breastfed for a year. To people who say 'you'll still be breastfeeding her to sleep when she's 7!', just grit your teeth, smile, nod and continue doing what works. You've got this.

What a difference a few days make! My LO is now doing 8-1am then a big feed (and a nap change - teething poos 😩) then 2-5am. Some days I get him back to sleep till 7ish. Some days not. So early waking is an issue but the stretches have improved.
Hang on in there. They improve on their own. You're doing an amazing job

thank you for words of support. But this morning is worse than ever, DD slept terribly, had a very fidgety sleep, waking every 30 min, in the end actually becoming awake. But what was worst, I myself had a terrible insomnia, so ended up laying awake ALL night, next to her, which probably added sense of stress, hence her sleep terrible. Surprisingly I actually feel better than on many days, but I guess it's the adrenalin and cortisol...I feel awful and look awful, probably aged 10 years in the last weeks...always prided myself on looking youthful. i know that is least of my worry, but somehow that just adds the final straw to it all. Thinking I may need to contact a sleep consultant. But maybe need one for myself too! Sorry for the rant, just not a good day.

Can your partner take a portion of the night? My partner takes her 9-2 so I can sleep 10-2 then I take over so he sleeps 2-8. That way you'll at least get a solid chunk of sleep. I put in earplugs and take a nytol sometimes if I need to so I definitely get that sleep! Our baby was great until the 4 month regression and then never really improved, we're at 7.5 months now and she's just this week getting better, waking 5 ish times a night instead of 8! But the 8 month regression is around the corner :S

Please don't contact a sleep consultant for a four month old. It's a complete waste of money if nothing else.

You need first to rule out anything which may be causing her to wake. It could very likely be teething. This really disrupted my little ones sleep. Have you tried anything for this?

I know how hard it is, I've been there. Just try to hang in there and do the best you can. Take it easy today.

Oh god, my stomach did a somersault just reading your thread title. It's horrendous, do whatever you have to do.

Until DD was 6 months she took all her naps in a carrier while I bounced her round the room. At six months, she'd feed to sleep and sleep on me while I sat on the bed, which was a bit better, if a bit boring.

At 7 months we moved her to her own room. On the Thursday night, she was in her next 2 me in our room and up every 2 hours. On the Friday in her own room, she slept 12 straight hours. She then napped in the cot from the following afternoon. I couldn't believe it. Now she's 11 months, and sleeps through unless she's sick or teething etc.

Basically, it will get better. It's horrific until it does, but it will improve. Until then, do what you have to do.

Oh, and don't worry about feeding to sleep. I always used to, but then she suddenly weaned before 10 months. Now we have to walk her around the room to get her down, and she weighs a tonne! I miss the feeding to sleep days, it was physically so much easier.

Hire a sleep consultant. Don't delay another day.

I know it's controversial to sleep train a baby, but I really think you have to look at the well-being of the entire family unit. You aren't getting enough sleep to function. It's not much better than being deprived of food or water. Sleep deprivation is recognised as a form of torture by the UN.

You matter as well. The whole family falls apart when the mum does.

thanks everyone again for sharing your experience and suggestions. Just to clarify, my baby is now almost 5 and a half months old, this is because this sleep regression has been now going on for about 7 weeks.
She is definitely a very light sleeper right now, everything wakes her up...that itself is hard, as are her sleep associations...all connected to me feeding her. I am just very confused about what I can and can't do. I have a niggling feeling I am just making things worse but continuing, while at the same time it's very hard to imagine changing it dramatically through intervention. She is a highly sensitive one, so worried to do anything too abrupt will only backfire...I tried a dummy (would gladly go for it), but she doesn't like it. Mind you I did not persist much. Should I? Or am I just making another difficulty for myself? Funny how life works...my first daughter, 16 years ago, was the best sleeper ever and I never knew what I had. Just total luck. Which also doesn't help comparing...
I like the stories of this just suddenly ending...like some of you mentioned here. The way it came. But is this really possible? I can't even imagine it will EVER end right now.

If she's a light sleeper, would you try her in your own room? Or in a couple of weeks when she's 6 months? I know some say the smell of your milk will rouse them when you're right there and you're probably all waking each other up atm. Worth a try before considering sleep training?

I am just very confused about what I can and can't do

You can do whatever you like- you need to go with your gut here and decide what feels right for you. If it's sleep training I can't offer any advice as I personally disagree with it. If you want some reassurance that she will grow out of it and you are not (I repeat, not!) giving her any negative sleep associations then I can help you with that as I've been there, done it and got the t-shirt. If feeding to sleep works, continue to do it as long as you are happy. If it doesn't then yes you may want to seek further advice. However, please please be wary that your babies sleep, however difficult it may be for you, is normal and while there may well be a place for you to seek professional advice, I'd be wary of handing over huge sums of money to someone to 'train' your tiny baby. My cousin has just paid £800 for a sleep nanny to stay over night, tell her that her five months old sleep is perfectly normal, that night wakings are normal and if he wakes hungry to feed him! It's a business and they will convince you that you have a problem that you need to pay them to fix. Your baby is normal. That doesn't make it easier, I know, but it's normal and they will grow out of it.

Thank you for taking time to respond. I can't say I am for a sleep trainer either, and certainly not paying out large amount of money for this elusive "solution". Interestingly somebody I know had similar issues, and paid $1500 to have somebody to come and stay for a night. The issue resolved miraculously - alas for 2 nights only - and then it was back to the usual. So no.
But I think it is this sense of guilt that doesn't help, guilt of somehow feeling responsible for having caused it, or not addressed it. Hence my now growing lack of believe that it will ever come to an end, by itself.
So thank you for the reassurance it will end. It is good to hear from somebody who experienced this first hand.
I also realised that the second biggest obstacle to sleep, apart from the baby waking, is my own frustration.

As for sleeping separately, yes, I wonder whether that might not help, although at the moment there is the obstacle of the feeding to sleep...which I normally do lying down next to her (have one of these attachable bassinets) ...