Sleep hope! But I need your help!

[Iwannabail]

Hey mumsnetters, I need your help because I feel so close to getting some sleep it’s almost like I am taste it!
11 week old DD has always preferred to sleep upright in baby carrier, on her side squashed against my boob or laying on me. I think this is because of silent reflux when she was born and her crazy crazy crazy startle reflex which is calmed down when she is in the baby carrier.
She won’t sleep in her cot.. or lying down for that matter.. what happens is she eventually goes to sleep with much persevering but wakes up after about the 3rd startle reflex which tends to be a biggy and refuses to go back to sleep. This is normally after about 5 mins..
Swaddling is a no as she wriggles so much and seems to want her arms free.
Recently she has been doing 4/5 hour stints in the early part of the evening.. this is amazing considering her previous form.. the problem.. it’s in the baby carrier on my husband.
She also won’t sleep in the pram so I wonder if its a lieing on her back thing (maybe sleeps for 15mins in pram) but that’s is again after a lot of protesting. I don’t think the reflux is bothering her anymore as she will lie on her back awake for a good amount of time on her playmat.
So wise mumsnetters any advice? What tricks did you do to get your little one on her back and in her cot (or at least the bloody nest bed next to me ha ha)
Thanks!!

Meant to add have tried raising mattress, putting child down while drowsy and putting child down while in a deep sleep! She will just wake up after about 5mins and wail!

Swaddle, even if you think she doesn't like it. She may protest at first but persevere.

My DD had silent reflux. Had her in the snuzpod next to me and then in the sleepyhead. She didn't take to swaddling either...
The first time she slept through was when we spent a night with family and I put her in the sleepyhead, propped up, but on the floor. Thought it was the fresh air, but it wasn't to continue back home.
Put her bed on the floor again and she slept. Weird little person she was and I felt awful for having my weeks old baby sleeping on the floor!! But it seemed to do something for her.
We tried putting down while drowsy, but it never worked and we had to hold her upright for 25-30 mins after feeds anyway so she fell asleep on us until she was 9mo. I was so worried we were building bad habits, but she's an independent madam who now asks to go to bed.

I wouldn't worry about starting any 'bad' habits but we just made sure she had fresh air and daylight every day, then kept lights dim in the evenings. She stayed downstairs with us sleeping until she was maybe 4 months old. No signs of routine until maybe 6. We just followed her lead really.
I think good luck is mainly what contributes to the sleeping!

Hi yes I think you are right!! It’s all about stars and moon aligning sometimes! We have a pureflo nest thing rather than a sleepyhead but did get her in it at least for 30mins last night, but your propping up idea sounds like a good plan. Tempted by the floor idea ha ha but the pureflo just has a thin netting as the bottom so not sure how comfy but I might try it ha ha. Thanks

Last night was a combination of farting and congestion that kept waking her! I fear I may have to give up the one thing that gets me through each day to help with reducing wind... chocolate as it’s pretty much the most consistent thing I eat ha ha

I would persevere with swaddling. My son is 13 weeks and very restless. He would always startle himself awake if not swaddled. I bath him, give him a little massage with bedtime baby lotion then give him his last feed of the day in the bedroom with the lights dimmed right down and the white noise on. Halfway through his feed I wind him well and then swaddle him, then pop him on the other boob. He will feed and fall asleep then I just pop him into the crib. He will usually wake a couple of times in the night for a feed and I do pretty much the same thing again.

If you can’t swaddle then I would try building some sleep associations so that even if she is sleeping in the sling you take her upstairs at the same time every night and she goes to sleep in the same room as her crib, lights dimmed, white noise, keep your voice low and calm and talk as little as possible etc. as that might help her get into a routine and get used to sleeping in the same place, then you can try transitioning her into the crib. It is a pain as it means sitting in a dark room a lot waiting for her to go to sleep but I used to read my kindle or play a game on my phone to pass the time.

Yeah I know I need to start doing these things. She already has a routine in that we do bath (sometimes story with her sister) then we take her downstairs, keeping things dark and she falls asleep on me while I eat dinner and then my husband takes her about 9pm. I guess I am reluctant to change this because a) I get no dinner and b) 9pm to 1am when she is with my husband is my only time I sleep properly. I know if she is instead in the room with me I will lose that precious sleep time. It’s a trade off I know I need to make, i was waiting till she was a little older say 4mths (after the regression - although I don’t know how much further she can regress ha!) so I can do a bit of sleep training as well and just get it all over and done with.
Will try the swaddle thing again tonight :)

Could your husband have her in the bedroom while you sleep somewhere else?

It is difficult, I know. I went through a phase of having dinner at about 5pm before doing his bath, then sitting in the dark bedroom for several hours trying to get him to sleep and topping up with snacks/cereal bars during night feeds. Now we’ve got him sleeping well in his crib I get him down about 7:30, then go downstairs for an hour and have dinner with my partner then go to bed myself at around 8.30-9pm so that I get some sleep before his first feed which is any time from midnight on. If I have a bad night then next day I have an early dinner and go straight to bed with him at 7.30. His night feeds have gone from taking two hours to just an hour now which helps.

It took a lot of perseverence to get to this point but it was worth it, I’m just praying it doesn’t all go to hell at four months!

Ha ha! I pray for you. Yes was already thinking when I pick up the older one from school I could eat dinner then quickly. I remember with the first one persevering and being obsessive with my bedtime routine. I just find it harder now I have two coz I have to sort out the 5 year old as well, who by the way after almost a year of hell is a brilliant sleeper!! I know it can be done, it’s just working out the best thing when juggling two kids. If husband is home early then he deals with the older one but that doesn’t always happen. I know I need to do something just too tired at the moment ha ha! Thanks for advice and reminding me I will get there with persevering just like I did with the first one!