Twin sleeping disaster

[villainousbroodmare]

I have nearly nine-month-old boy and girl twins as well as a 3.5yo DS.
I have created a sleeping problem for us all and don't know how to get out of it. It is so bad that I think my DH is genuinely on the verge of cracking.
DD is pretty much EBF, doesn't like a bottle. DS is by now largely FF by day and BF at night.
The thing is that they have never learned any strategy to go to sleep that does not involve either a boob or being carried on someone's back. It is making our evenings terrible, and I am also alternately BF all night, averaging two-hourly wake ups.
I have tried most things except CC and I won't do CIO.
One potentially tricky aspect of this is that the daytime childminders have sort of helped me make this rod for all of our backs, as they are kindhearted and will do anything to avoid tears. I have been back at work full time since 4mo so I rely on them totally by day. However, I suppose they will try to implement whatever strategy I decide or I'll just take my annual leave [sobs]

Before you ask, they won't take a dummy. We have every bloody variety of dummy on earth and have tried frequently from about 10 weeks (yes, I know, maybe was already late then).

I would say CC. We did this with DD just after her first birthday as she could not settle herself and it was taking two hours to get her to bed sometimes.

The first week is hard but be consistent. DDs overall sleep got much better and she is now able to settle herself if she needs to pretty much anywhere.

That's what I was thinking, Belle . I think I'll have to take some leave because surely it needs to be a consistent plan for day naps also?

We also did CC with both of ours who had been fed to sleep (and co slept) so we were on our knees. Within 3 nights both were self styling within 15 mins. We did a shh-pat technique.

Just to add once they could self settle at night they also did for naps in the day, as long as we were consistent for the first week - ie all naps at home

I can't leave babies to cry so have always used shush-patting and pupd to get babies self-settling.

I think you could also limit night feeds to say 11pm and 3am and only offer cuddles/water in between, and then gradually push the times - I'd first move the 3am one later and then the 11pm one earlier until they merge with bedtime and morning feeds.

It’s good to be consistent but we didn’t do naps at the same time. She still fed to sleep for naps but managed to self settle for bedtime.

I would say clear the decks if anything stressful and be prepared to tag team so that if one of you starts to crack the other can take over. I found it really hard but DH was much more determined. It may feel like they are crying for ages but you are mostly there with them. They are safe, fed and warm. Everything else is just temper. They have to learn to self settle sometime.

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'll get cracking. Anyone any advice on a CC book or specific guidelines? Or is it just a very standard technique?

@villainousbroodmare I would have a look at shh pat online but basically from what I remember it's comforting them in the cot by shh-ing and rubbing back rather than picking up - we found picking up and cuddling just started it all over again. We left them for 30 seconds then a minute and built it up.

Bobbybobbins we started this morning and actually we had the best Sunday I can remember. Just having a plan as opposed to 'wtf am I going to do now?' was a good feeling. Both babies cried for a while and then had fantastic long naps, one for 90 min and the other for two hours - these are two that never sleep for more than half and hour to an hour. They are both asleep now. I am shh-patting albeit at longer intervals than you did, and am totally converted. Thank you.