I thought 'self settling' would magically make my 9mo sleep

[Clarabellawilliamson]

I feel so let down! 9mo DS was a great sleeper for the first 6 months or so, and I was so pleased because his 3yo sister is/ was horrendous. Anyway his sleep has got worse and worse.
I thought self settling was like this holy grail of sleep and if he could do that then he would sleep at night. Well it's not, and he can't!
Past about midnight he wakes about every hour or two until I bring him into the bed with me from about 5. Neither of us really sleep past this point but at least I get to lie down.
3yo DD is also going through a phase of waking so I am broken!! I still breastfeed him a couple of times at night because I don't want him to wake his sister
He's still in our room until we move house in the summer, or I dare put the kids in together!
So what do I want advice on? How to get him to sleep through the second part of the night when I'm in the room? OR how to put two in the same room when they are both terrible sleepers?!
Thanks

I've no answer I'm afraid because I'm in the same boat with DS 6months. Everyone said if I could teach him to self settle at bedtime his sleep would improve...but no! He happily goes to sleep with his dummy on his own but still wakes 1-2 hourly all night long 😴 Like you I still breast feed every other wake and try to settle him with dummy at other wakes. Exhausting 😞
I've got a 4 year old and 2 year old too but I'm fortunate that they have a room each. I'd be reluctant to put yours in together tbh in case they just wake each other up and then things could be a lot worse 🙈 Do you hve white noise? We do and I think it helps a bit to make sure we don't disturb baby when coming into bed, moving around etc x

Thanks scotgirl, they sound similar! We do use white noise but just Ewan so it only lasts 20 min or so. I've been thinking about using it all night. I just wish we had another room, as I do think we disturb him, and even if he's not crying, every little grizzle wakes me up anyway!

Yea I agree...every little grizzle is enough to make me 'pounce' for fear of him fully waking up! Sometimes I do wonder if I left him a bit would he go back to sleep?...but to scared to find out 😂

Back in the early 80's when my son was born I used to have his cot up against my side of the bed with the side down. I just can't cannot get up once I've been asleep and so he was right there but not actually in the bed.
He did sleep a lot on this regime because I was right next to him if he woke up so didn't always start crying.
he didn't go into his own room until he was around two.

Thanks madcatlady, that is one option- he was in his bedside crib until about 6 weeks ago but he just kept crawling out! We haven't got space for a full size cot in our room so he is in a space saver, but it is right up next to my side.
In my head if he had his own room and a bigger cot he would sleep better, but I think this is just wishful thinking!