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Original poster

Sleep deprivation really getting me down

12 replies

Ivybutterfly · 05/02/2019 01:20

Hi everyone, yet another sleep deprived parent here. I have a 17 month old that has never slept throught the night. Always ways me up 3 or 4 times. Trying to stop breastfeeding but is really stubborn and refuses any bottle or cup. I think she is ill at the moment and her stomach is bothering her. I really need to sleep. The past week I have had one or two hours a night. Husband has taken her for a few hours maybe a dozen times. Desperate and feeling really ill.

OP posts:
User24689 · 05/02/2019 06:53

No advice but solidarity. I have a 15 month old who is exactly the same and I could have written this. I'm starting to feel quite depressed by it all too.

cliffdiver · 05/02/2019 08:01

I know how you are feeling.

When DD2 was little I fantasised about spending a few nights in hospital, just so I could have a couple of hours of interrupted sleep.

When I weaned DDs from night feeds the only way that worked was me being out the house for a couple of nights and DH taking over, it only took 2 nights. Is this feasible?

Original poster
Ivybutterfly · 05/02/2019 08:58

We have no friends or family in the area. And none generally. I gueas I could stay in a hotel. We have a preschooler too. Who was also up last night. I end up telling the baby that I hate her and now I am the worst person in the world. I hate myself. I hate everything.

OP posts:
Aries456 · 05/02/2019 09:39

Hey, don't beat yourself up Ivybutterfly. Sleep deprivation is terrible - and sounds like you have had it going for a long time. I am afraid I don't have any experience weaning from breast feeding... my only thoughts would be that she would have to take milk from a bottle eventually?? I guess a bit like any sleep aid (dummy/ bottle) breaking her of it might be only way to get some sleep back? Easier said than done i know. Could husband try doing it on a friday and sat night so even if no ine gets much sleep you could tag team the following day? You cant carry on as you are. Perhaps call your HV? Really hoping you get some peace today xx

fromdespairto · 05/02/2019 09:46

I'm at breaking point today with this. My MH is rock bottom. Following for advice.

giantnannyknickers · 05/02/2019 10:21

@Ivybutterfly aw you poor pet, sleep deprivation is the worst. Get yourself booked into a b&b near by and have a night off! I really regret not going it with my second.

So you co sleep? Sometimes it keeps the kids sleep through the night when they're ill.

pinkcarpet · 05/02/2019 10:28

I feel your pain. My first was like this and second going the same way. When DD1 was 18months I'd had enough and we night weaned her, but it took ages before she slept through so you have to be persistent. Took us about 6 weeks. We started by me going out at bedtime (to the supermarket! So glamourous) and DH basically just sat with her in her room till she was so tired she fell asleep on her own. She was old enough to understand I was out and although she was a bit upset it was OK, and got easier on night 2. She still woke a lot but would not need a feed to go back to sleep, just back rub and a lullaby. After 5 nights of DH doing it then we started alternating and after a few more weeks we did a gradual retreat so that we didn't have to be there waiting for her to fall alseep.

Original poster
Ivybutterfly · 05/02/2019 11:09

Thank you. I will try the suggestions. I think if I can just stop breastfeeding she will sleep more. I will update on any advice or anything that works.

OP posts:
User24689 · 05/02/2019 12:02

Ivy, I really know how you feel. I've tried to stop breastfeeding a number of times and he just screams and screams. My son just stsrted taking cow's milk from a sippy cup about a month ago and now loves it but he isn't interested at night as he isn't feeding for hunger ( he eats loads!) It's comfort and a strong sleep association with nursing, not the milk itself. I imagine your DD is the same. I can recommend a really supportive FB group called the beyond sleep training project where you'll get non judgemental advice. I do know that there is a sleep regression around 18 months and that a lot of people see a leap of improvement following that. I'm holding out hope for it myself! Hugs to you!

Aries456 · 05/02/2019 13:55

Oh yes, I forgot there is a separation issue around 18 months. My LG suddenly stopped going to sleep easily and we had a couple of weeks of tantrums around bedtime. Did get better though. X

April45 · 05/02/2019 21:57

Oh ivy, that's hard going and for so long too. I stopped bf at 15 months as my instincts told me I was keeping DS awake by feeding.. and it worked. We had to stop feeds gradually and he drank from a tomme tippee cup which I started to give at night or a least offered first to start with. I managed to get him to just the night feeds and thought I'd just try it one night offering no bedtime bf but cows milk and he slept through.. couldn't believe it I thought he'd have put up a fight as he was a real boob monster! Don't get me wrong it took a while to get there.

Will your LO drink from a cup/ beaker in the day? And do you bf in the day?

KittyMcTitty · 11/02/2019 22:36

Poor you!!! That is horrible on all counts!
Can you squeeze a nap in somewhere for yourself?
Drop the night feeds - she doesn’t need the milk she just likes the comfort! Try the gentle method where you cuddle and comfort when she wakes and don’t feed. Short term pain as she will cry for long term gain - your sanity!!!
Is she eating enough before bed? X

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