Where are we going wrong??

[Northernbeachbum]

Ive worked really hard with nearly 8m DS to get him from being rocked or fed to sleep to going into his cot awake. He self settles and goes to sleep happily. He has a strong bedtime routine, same every day. So WHY does he wake multiple times over night, when i say multiple, every hour isnt rare. I do as i should and wait for him to have a chance to settle back down but he will get very het up instead

I cant work out what im missing??? To get him back to sleep he has some milk then will either self settle on me or in his cot

My little one was the same. She just wanted to play or be with us. I got into the habit of going in after five mins offering dmmy/water or milk in silence then leaving and just saying good night. After a while I think she realised that she hasn't been abandoned, we're not having some sort of wild party without her she is clearly missing out on and actually sleep is good!!
Just keep at it, they get it eventually :)

• 8-10 month sleep regression
• is he hungry?
• it’s reslly normal for 8 months old to wake in the night still, the frequency is due to the regression

So WHY does he wake multiple times over night, when i say multiple, every hour isnt rare.

Because he’s doubling in size in his first year.

Because his brain is doubling in size and building millions of neural pathways every day.

Because he is constantly growing and learning about his world every day.

Because nights are long when you’re tiny and he misses you.

Because teeth are moving around in his gums making them uncomfortable/sore.

Because he’s ingesting new food and bacteria every day that his gut flora needs to process.

Or, possibly, to piss you off.

This is parenthood. Your expectations appear farcical.

My little one was the same. She just wanted to play or be with us. I got into the habit of going in after five mins offering dmmy/water or milk in silence then leaving and just saying good night. After a while I think she realised that she hasn't been abandoned, we're not having some sort of wild party without her she is clearly missing out on and actually sleep is good!!

Or maybe she doesn’t understand why adults get to be together and have that comfort but tiny developing babies should be on their own. I have to say I don’t either.

My boy seems to have been going thru this. Waking constantly..for about 6weeks. Seems to be getting back on track now 😊 hang in there.
Hes nursed to sleep and it doesnt seem to help avoid regressions. Just part of it i guess

@poutysprout no need to be unkind, my boy is the only one at a number of groups who is waking anywhere near is frequently. And he is no better when co sleeping. I dont expect him to sleep through but hes unhappy waking up so i want to know how to help him not!!

@surfskatefamily thank you, i think actually knowing it will end soon hopefully helps

@crazycatlady5 hes not really hungry overnight i dobt think as hes mainly having a few mouthfuls, a cuddle then back to sleep. Sleep regression seems likely

@User6949671 glad it all worked out foe you fingers crossed wont be long here

Is there a noise that is waking him? My parents had the same issue with DS until they realized she was being woken up by the noise of racoons in our backyard.

Yes “self-settling” not the be-all and end-all - I haven’t even “taught” my 8mo to self-settle, he has just done it himself quite often (not always) but it certainly doesn’t stop him waking as much as yours some nights and needing my help to get back to sleep. Cosleeping doesn’t make much difference I agree, but just stops you having to get out of bed. No suggestions here, just riding it out, but it is one of those things that makes me roll my eyes at the “well you clearly haven’t taught him to self-settle, sleeping is a learnt skill” comments

Your expectations are not farcical! Just wanted to send support. I'm
sure your baby will be out of this phase and on to the next soon. Well done x

Poutysprout why do you have to be so rude? I've noticed you on a number of thread and you talk to people in such a horrible way.

OP: the rabbit hole of the internet (and some people on this site) will tell you that if you do a, b and c your baby will do x.
My baby is 19 weeks and I have realised that is bollocks. Just as we are different as people the magic formula doesn't exist. The horrific truth is you just have to ride it out. I honestly think that we just have the hand we are dealt and little we do makes a difference. I have known people to have success with a sleep consultant, they have helped by helping out with a routine in the day etc. But that's because it has been highly tailored to their baby.
My sympathies. Sleep deprivation is awful.

I feel the same and have literally come on here so I don’t feel so alone! My son never recovered from the 4 month sleep regression, his sleep has progressively got worse as he’s gotten older (he was better as a newborn!). The only thing that keeps me going that it won’t last forever and I’m HOPING one day he will just leave for at least a few hours in one go. I hope the same for your little one too! Just letting you know you aren’t alone, I know for defo that helps me going during the countless sleepless nights.

My son was sleeping well through the night then from around 8 months we went through about 5-6 weeks of his sleep turning to sh*t and I definitely put it down to the 8-10 month sleep regression. He was teething at times too and had the cold once, but Ive no doubt most of it was the regression in line with developmental leaps.
It really was a phase as he is sleeping pretty well now (10 months) so hang in there and hopefully its a phase. It was really difficult at times and you feel like you're going to crack up but just keep the routines in place and know it wont last forever.

I have a 7 and a half month old DS who's sleep has always been hit and miss.. doesn't matter what I do, how many naps he has during the day or for how long, how much milk/solids he's consumed, he still wakes during the night and very often wants to play.
As long as your baby is loved, clean and fed, you cannot do much more than ride it out. Ignore all the negative comments, us mums are all in the same boat and one day it will improve (I'm hoping anyway ).
Sleep deprivation is torture but I'm sure you are doing a fantastic job. Just keep at it, they won't be a baby forever

Thank you all for your support and making me feel I'm not doing anything wrong

Its mainly a concern as I'm back to work soon and i can barely function day to day at the moment

I'm also back to work soon and it is a worry how you'll function on little sleep but you'll do it! What I've learnt is that babies aren't robots and they're all different.
Give it time and little one will sleep

I’m 34 and don’t sleep through the night so I never expect my babies to .
It’s hard OP but it will get better. Sleep does tend to worsen around the 8 month mark but it’s temporary, and developmental. You’re not doing anything wrong.

Well I don’t expect sleeping through the night either, but there is a range between that and waking hourly and most of us would prefer fewer wakeups!

We might prefer fewer wake ups (who wouldn’t?) - doesn’t mean it’s not normal though.

Well that’s what I mean - it may be normal but I do think it’s ok not to feel ok about hourly wakeups. Because I have had it for more or less 8 months and I waver between acceptance and despair. It can feel a bit frustrating when people interpret your finding hourly wakeups difficult as expecting sleeping through the night