Should I go cold turkey with dummy??

[AnnieM18]

Hi ladies. My 6 month old has always been a restless sleeper and wakes several times a night and needs the dummy to go back over. He’s recently moved into his own room and seems to love the cot the space. I hoped it would make him sleep better but he’s still awake 4-8 times a night needing the dummy replaced and I’m exhausted. I’m running on 3/4 hours broken sleep a night.
He goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps until 10/11pm when he wakes for a bottle or I give him a Dreamfeed (if he hasn’t woken) He usually needs another bottle around 3am but either side of that he wakes regularly and cries until I go in an replace the dummy. It can sometimes be 5 times in an hour and the longest he can go is 2 hours (and that’s a long stretch!)

I tried to put him down for a nap this afternoon without the dummy as a little test but had to give in after 15 minutes and give him the dummy after he cried sore. Picking him up and trying to soothe him didn’t help, in fact it just made him acream even more. It made me dread the thought of taking away the dummy but I am at my wits end.

So my question is- should I ride it out until he’s old enough to replace his own dummy or go cold turkey?
And if I go cold turkey, should I just leave him to cry himself to sleep?? That seems so cruel and I don’t know if I could listen to him cry. I would love to hear from anyone who has been through this and how it worked out for you.
Thank you so much in advance! X

At 7 mo ds managed to find his himself. Place a few around his head!
Teething will get worse soon and you will wish he still had a dummy ime!!

It's hard but if you are prepared for crying then why not?
With ds I took it away during day only had it for day time naps, night and sometimes on journey home from nursery (we commuted an hour on train) I replaced the commute home dummy with snacks, and every time he spat dummy out at nap and night I just took it out of cot tbh. And once I swapped the bedtime bottle for a beaker he really didn't want a dummy then! (However, he was nearly 2)
Dd is 13m, teething and due to this won't take her dummy, so I haven't given it to her, so we have been dummy free for nearly a month now!

Thank you! He got a tooth a few days ago so I imagine the rest aren’t far behind so maybe you’re right and he’ll need the comfort. If he could replace it himself I would be happy to keep the dummy. It’s just the running in and out of his room all night long that’s killing me.

Why would you?!

I would put extra dummies in the cot and not take them away at this stage. I think they might help you get the night feeds down too when the time is right. Re-visit around 1 year or 18 months when he can understand more. Maybe pick a favourite toy and say big boys dont take dummies to bed they take tractors... or whatever the toy is .. Worked for mine but i know its hard.

It soothes him & gives him comfort and you want to take it away?? He's only a tiny baby. Keep a few in his crib and see if that helps. Or maybe move the crib into your room so you can replace them in the night for him.

That’s good advice about waiting until he can understand and replace the dummy with a toy. Hopefully he’ll learn to replace it himself soon!!

I was in the same situation with my little girl, the last night she had her dummy I replaced it six times in 30 minutes. All our sleep was affected so I knew it had to go. Rough couple of nights but nowhere near as bad as I thought. It’s been 5 weeks now since she last had it and her sleeping has improved dramatically. When she fussed during the day we just played with her or distraced her and she soon forgot about it. It might not be for everyone but I knew in our situation it was definitely time to go. Might not work for you but also your little one might be a lot older than seven months before she can replace it. Good luck!

He not she 🤪sorry!

Get a dummy attachment (Google soother holders) . It fastens onto their top. I also use Avent night time dummies because they glow in the dark. TT closer to nature soother holders worked best and lasted the longest for me. DC was able to catch the dummy at night and put it in himself eventually. Instead of cold turkey, start with limiting dummy to naps and night time first. Tbh it sounds like your DS is going through a developmental leap (look up wonder week developmental leaps). It will feel like it's taking forever but it will end. Don't be hard on yourself, we all have our days. I spent ages making dinner for DC the other day and the dish fell on the floor as I was about to pick it up.

Thank you SS1987 my instinct is that its time for it to go but I am scared of how hard it will be. It’s reaasuring to know your lo is now sleeping much better!! Thank you so much for that encouragement.

ChocolateStash that’s a good idea to limit it to sleep times only to start. I can ease myself into the idea if nothing else lol! I must get some glow in the dark dummies for now too but I think I might take the plunge soon and get rid of the dummy.
(About to look up wonder weeks!)

Thanks so much for your replies. X

SS1987 do you mind me asking how you did it? Did you let your lo cry it out? Or use another method to settle her? That’s the bit I’m worried about. Thank you!

This happened with my son and I had the same thoughts, but I left it, and it's true they learn how to find their dummies after a while. I wanted to quash the dummy before two, after which I'd heard it's harder for the child to give up, and fortunately with both my children they showed signs of being able to cope without it age about 17m and 23m (!). Going cold turkey is a good thing but do it when they've gone through what would have once been a trigger for it, without worrying. You will know when that is; my son was a sleep in the buggy one day - took them all away that evening and he was fine - and my daughter a sleep in the car after swimming; same thing.

I loaded the baby each night a dummy in the mouth, one in each hand and others scattered around her head. At 2.5years old she happily swapped her dummy for a Snow White dress without looking back once.

You're going to think I work for Google at this rate! - I don't. Google Bye-Bye Binkie Method. If you search you can find it free. It is a way of getting rid of the dummy. If you're trying the CIO method for sleep, a camera monitor might reassure you. You can pickup a cheap one online.

We did this with my little boy when he was 8 months, for the same reason - his sleep was so interrupted with him waking looking for his dummy. We decided it was either phase it out then or wait until he was a toddler. It wasn't as bad as I thought, we gave him a new comforter that I had slept with instead of the dummy and i tried him without the dummy for his first nap of the day when he was normally very quick to fall asleep anyway. It took him a little longer to nod off but he did it!

Then the first few nights just sat with him and rubbed his hand or his back until he fell asleep. Wasn't easy but wasn't the worst. His sleep improved pretty much after the first 2 nights (until the next regression / tooth / holiday) and we were so glad we did it then - BUT he only ever had it to sleep and wasn't too attached.

My daughter on the other hand is now coming up on 8 months, has just moved into her cot in her own room and the dancing in and out has started again so not sure what to do this time as she is sooooo attached to her dummy (she only has it to sleep so it has such strong sleep associations for her). I think next week I'll bite the bullet and do the same thing but because it does work so well if she's upset at all I think we'll just accept that it's here to stay for a while and try to get her to put it back in herself as quick as possible!

Good luck!

At 24 weeks old, he probably wishes it was you next to him when he wakes up.

You both might get a better nights sleep.

Thanks ladies. So much good advice and experience on here. I’m still undecided as he is Soooo attached to his dummy but the reassurance and advice is so very helpful and now I have a few courses of action that you’ve all recommended

If you prefer not to co-sleep, get a small teddy bear/soft toy and put it inside your top for a while to make it will smell like you. Put it in your DS's cot for reassurance when he goes to sleep. The americans call it a lovey.

I wouldn’t personally. We got rid at age three both times when they understood and could self sooth with a teddy. The dummy fairy came and it was a jolly affair, no tears. At this age we got one of those toy bunnies that you can attach dummies too. Glow in the dark dummies. 10 or so in the cot so they could always find one.

What I first done was cuddled and gently rocked her while I walked, she was tired enough so fell asleep. Done this for the first few naps and bed time then I moved onto laying her down while she was drowsy and holding her arms on her chest until she fell asleep (had to do some loud ssshhhing and some patting with this one) and now I put her down awake she talks away to herself for five or ten minutes and then sleeps. She is now sleeping 7.30/8pm until around 4/5am and then I get her in with me and we sleep until around 7.30am which is a massive improvement from where we were. I know it gives them comfort but that’s only because it is what they are use to. I know lots of babies who never had a dummy and it didn’t do them any harm!

Thanks so much! It’s so helpful to know what you did instead of the dummy. My lo is so addicted to it but I feel I am going to try without and see if he can manage and just soothe him in other ways.

I just want to give you a word of caution that taking the dummy away may not improve his sleep. If you look on this forum there are loads of threads from people whose babies don't have a dummy, and still wake just as frequently in the night as you've mentioned. Then you have to potentially feed or rock at every waking! DD is 7 months and sometimes she can find it herself now with the aid of the Sleepytot. She goes through phases of a week or two where she wakes CONSTANTLY for it which is tough but it always passes and then goes back to a few wakings a night and as I say now sometimes she can find it herself.

I have the same problem with my nearly 5 month old. She is quite addicted to the dummy & I am getting up loads during the night to replace it to help her resettle.
I am in the same thought that I want to remove it.
I decide today was the day to start & she didn't have it for her morning nap & was ok for her afternoon nap she went mental & nothing I did would sooth her & it was so heart braking that in the end I gave in & gave it to her.
For her evening nap I only allowed her to have the dummy for 5 mins & removed it before she was fully asleep & she didn't moan.
Be interested to know what you have tried from all the advice