Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Real problem sleeper. Help desperately needed!!! :( PLEASE HELP!!!!

38 replies

ratfly · 01/07/2007 08:26

Ds is 5 months old. He used to just wake once or twice in the night (except for growth spurts), but is now regularly waking every 2hours for his dummy - I think his farts wake him up then he can't resettle (!) . Then, around 4.30 he is really hard to settle even with the dummy, so I end up getting him in bed with me til 7. TBH this is the easy option, but I always wake up tired after co-sleeping. He is swaddled to stop him itching his eczema, so I can't let him thumbsuck, which would be 1 solution.

I wouldn't worry usually, but I am going back to work next week and REALLY need to get some sleep!

So last night, after waking for a dummy re-inset at 2.15 and 3.15, we tried
CC at 4 am - to NO avail! I eventually popped dummy back in at 4.50 after 50 minutes of screaming and he dropped off until 5.30, when I gave in and got him in with me. It's so hard, but I will do anything for sleep by that time in the morning.

PLEASE PLEASE can anyone suggest anything? My plan was going to be to take away his dummy and continue the co-sleeping, but will he depend on co-sleeping too? And is THAT hard to tackle too? Dropping the swaddle is not an option, as he will rub his face and eyes to bits by the morning.

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 01/07/2007 08:28

pleeease dont do CC
Are you sure he isn't hungry? thats very small to not be eating in the night

Original poster
ratfly · 01/07/2007 08:32

He has recently dropped his night feed. I offered him a bottle at 3.15, he drained it, fell asleep then woke up again at 4.15.

No, I hate CC and never want to do it again, but if it's the only way I can get him to sleep alone, then I will consider it!

OP posts:
TrinityRhino · 01/07/2007 08:33

ok, windy pains? have you tried gripe water or Infacol?

or maybe just the tiny baby instinct to be near you....

3sEnough · 01/07/2007 08:34

Sorry - but I do need to point out that cc won't work on one try on one night - it does take a little time (and preparation)- 3 to 10 days usually. Good luck with whatever you choose.

GodzillasBumcheek · 01/07/2007 08:36

Have you tried getting him to sleep without the dummy some of the time - in the daytime perhaps to start with? Our dd can only get to sleep initially with the dummy, but when she wakes in the night she gets herself back to sleep.
Other than that, have you noticed him being more hungry in the daytime? It could be a sign of approaching weaning (dd was also waking more for food around five months). Do talk to a hv first (if yours are helpful).

bagsundereyes · 01/07/2007 08:39

ratfly, it sounds really hard.

our dd wakes a lot for the dummy too, so i am feeling your pain.

i just wanted to add that if you are really ready for cc, there are lots of people around on the boards who have done this successfully. i'm sure some of them will be along soon to advise.

aviatrix · 01/07/2007 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
ratfly · 01/07/2007 08:42

thanks everyone! I'd really like to try something other than CC - I think I found it harder than he did!

I have started weaning - he is actually approaching 6 months...

Godzilla - that's a good idea- maybe I'll try to get him to nap without it first then..

OP posts:
Original poster
ratfly · 01/07/2007 08:46

aviatrix - a valid point! hadnt thought if that!
the real issue with cosleeping is our marriage, as dh doesnt like it and ends up on the sofa! and I have ended up with a duvet on the floor in ds room (more comfy than it sounds!) as in our bed he wakes when it is light - we have a blackout blind in ds room..

maybe I'll try an all night cosleep - without a dummy - and see what happens...

OP posts:
elsiemum · 01/07/2007 08:54

Co-sleeping all night sounds like a fab suggestion to me. You won't be so tired because you don't have to fully wake up and physically get up. Agree also that 5/6 months still young to not feed through night.

Original poster
ratfly · 01/07/2007 09:00

I am more than happy to feed at night still, though he did appear to drop it after I stopped bf at night (cut back bf in preparation for going back to work, and milk supply plummetted)!

The problem is his frequent waking which appears not related to hunger - he can sometimes wake an hour after a feed, or (quite often) 3hours after his 11pm feed, while he easily goes 4 hours between feeds in the daytime. If I feed him at 2, he wakes again at 3, 4, 5 etc - I think it's dummy related.

And could he be expecting a co-sleep at 5, could that be why he won't settle any other way then?

Will I be making a rod for my own back if I end up swaddling (though for eczema it is a strong sleep cue too), dummy AND co-sleeping!!!!

OP posts:
Jojay · 01/07/2007 09:04

I really think the dummy is the problem here, as long as you are 100% confident you can rule out hunger. I would try and wean him off it - will he sleep without it in the day time?? Or does he have it for every nap??

There are several things you can try, to get him to ditch the dummy, depending on how steely your nerves are. Usually the quickest method is to go 'cold turkey', stop using it completely (starting the morning when you are awake and able to cope with the crying) and use something like the shush pat method, or pick up / put down, to help him settle. If you do this, it's likely to take about 3 days, and there are loads of case studies on the Baby Whisperer website if you want some inspiration.

Otherwise there is gradual withdrawal, when you limit the dummy in his awake time, and then ease it out of his mouth as he drops off. The idea is that he gets used to not sleeping with it in his mouth, so that when it drops out in the night, he doesn't wake up looking for it. This wil tkae longer, but involves less crying generally.

There are more ideas on the Baby Whisperer website that don't involve cc. I'd really recommend a look - you have to register to access it but it's free and there's lots of advice.

Whatever you decide, you need to be 100% consistent about it, and it will get easier!

Good luck

JodieG1 · 01/07/2007 09:05

My ds2 is nearly 25 weeks and he still wakes 4-5 times a night every night for milk. He also feeds lots during the day and in the evenings. A least every couple of hours and he's a big boy, 19lb at 20ish weeks. We co-sleep and that's the only reason I'm not like a zombie every day, plus I'm breastfeeding so don't have to get up in the nigh just roll over to feed him. I've co-slept with the older 2 as well and there was never a problem getting them into their own beds. No advice, I'm just sticking it out until he sleeps through himself.

Original poster
ratfly · 01/07/2007 09:05

All this talk of co-sleeping - is IS lovely though isn't it!!
But, I really want him to sleep on his own!! I could use it as a short term solution - I only have a few weeks work til I get a 5 week break anyway - but I need a long term solution for him sleeping all night on his own!!!

OP posts:
Jojay · 01/07/2007 09:07

Co -sleeping is absolutely fine IF everyone is happy with it. If it could cause a rift in your marriage, it is not worth it. There are other options.

Original poster
ratfly · 01/07/2007 09:18

Thanks jojay - I do use babywhisperer.com too, but find mumsnet more useful for discussion! (creep emoticon!)

I don't have 3 days til I go back to work, so cold turkey is out of the question for the time being
But... I think I may have a plan....

I will start removing the dummy before he fully drops off in his daytime naps. How would I resettle though? Put it in then take it out?

Nights before work, I will cosleep when he wakes at 3 - I can handle 1 dummy re-insert before hand. I will feed, then co-sleep. I guess the nights inbetween work days I will try the dummy gradual withdrawal, and resort to cosleeping at 5 if necessary...

Then, when I get my break from work in 3 weeks, we can do dummy cold turkey. Which should be easier by then cos of the gradual withdrawal.

Ok, wish me luck - he goes down for a nap in 1/2 hour or so... Not looking forward to this!

OP posts:
GodzillasBumcheek · 01/07/2007 09:20

IKWYM - have never tried co-sleeping and would only do it as the very very last resort (i like my sex life too much ). And 5 months is not too young to be sleepng through without feeds. Following (loosely) the advice in the CLB book, if your baby has all the milk/solids they need between the hours of 7am and 11pm at night, by 5 months they can Most Definately be sleeping through. Not saying this routine works for everyone tho!

GodzillasBumcheek · 01/07/2007 09:21

Good luck! I know what you'll go through as we did this too!

TrinityRhino · 01/07/2007 09:22

well Gecko has never read that book

Jojay · 01/07/2007 09:29

Sounds like a good plan - I did the same sort of thing with my ds, and in the end never needed to resort to cold turkey as he went off the dummy on his own accord at 6 moths - admittedly not waking in the night looking for it though.

I would start by easing it out just after he's dozed off. If he wakes up and frets, pop it back in again, and repeat until he stays asleep. Over time, I'm sure you'll be able to take it away earlier in the sleep cycle.

Good luck - let us know how it goes at his nap!!

JodieG1 · 01/07/2007 09:29

We have a fantastic sex life, just not in bed. There are plenty of other places to do it hehe.

JodieG1 · 01/07/2007 09:29

Lol Trinity, same for my ds2.

Original poster
ratfly · 01/07/2007 09:32

thanks everyone! I felt so low this morning, but feel much better now I have A Plan!

I think he is ready for a nap - will let you know how it goes. I may be gone a long time!!

OP posts:
GodzillasBumcheek · 01/07/2007 09:50

Well, that's nice for you Trinity and Jodie. I'll be sure to check by you the next time i get my dd up in the early hours for a feed and she point blank refuses it and screams her ass off to go back to sleep. You try to point out that OPs baby might not be hungry and whaddaya get? Sarcasm.

Original poster
ratfly · 01/07/2007 10:05

Well, he is asleep, but, bless him, he loves his dummy! As soon as I removed it he started whining, and shut up, eyes closed as soon as I put it back. I think I was removing it too early. But, I took it out and he is asleep without it at the minute - not sure how long it will last though!

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread