CC technique and long term effect ?

[spiper]

We are currently doing CC on our 12mth old DD after trying other techniques without success. It is the 3rd nights now and he finally stopped crying after 40mins (50mins on 1st night and 30mins on second). We do not like doing it but he is sleeping through the night compared to waking up 3 or 4+ times if I stayed in the room until he falls asleep.

The thing is that I only go in to check him after the 1st 5 minutes and then not again because going in to check him only makes him more irate and screams louder when I leave. Should I continue with this technique or check on him more?.

Will all this crying affect his voice in future?. ie. make him speak more croaky?

So he's sleeping through now and it's just bed time that's the problem? That's good and he must be happier during the day for a better night's sleep. It's also good that he must be settling himself back to sleep when he wakes during the night. I'm no expert and personally doubt that the crying will affect his voice.

That you've raised it though suggests you're looking for excuses to stop. Poor you, it is so difficult. I'd be tempted to go in more often, every two minutes then three then four and so one, and see what happens. Hope someone with more recent practical experience can suggest something they've tried for you.

Believe it or not, it sounds like you
and your ds are doing very well!

Yes, going in does sometimes seem
to set them off more but it helps
to communicate the message better.

No, the crying is highly unlikely to
affect his voice unless you let him
cry it out willy nilly at every given
opportunity.

Good luck!

Thanks for the replies. Our DD is now doing very well with his sleep again. He went to sleep on Saturday night after crying for 5 minutes and now only cries a couple of minutes before going to sleep. It was hard to do CC and listen to him cry during the first 3 nights but I think it's better for him and us in the long run as he now sleeps through the night again

I would worry less about his voice than his mental state - read Sue Gerhardt's 'Why love matters' for the effects that prolonged crying has on a baby's brain.
Sorry to be controversial.

myjobismum - hear hear! I was not an advocate of cc until i became so desperate and sleep deprived that i was cracking up. It worked. I did get stressed about the effects on ds and his relationship/trust in me - as I am sure daddyj will testify . But..... i am convinced that a baby who wakes repeatedly throughout the night, spends their days cranky and running on low batteries is far far worse off. I am now of the opinion that it is almost wrong (now I am being contraversial....)to let your precious baby carry on in a sleep deprived state for all of their babyhood. Must be awrul for the poor cherubs. I really feel quite strongly about it. Of course it is not for everyone and for some babies it does not work but surely the benefits of a good nights sleep far outweigh the negative effects of sleeplessness for parent and child. Phew! Sorry for ramble..... I've been at the wine

a lovely red cabernet shiraz. Going down far too well !

i am off to bed now. ds likes to wake at around 5:30am . Puts me off another glass tbh but I shall slam another one down anyway . n'nite myjobismum!

I do agree with Floraflora. I would not have continued with CC if it wasn't working after a few nights e.g. if DS continue to cry loads b4 going to sleep. We also only did CC after trying other methods without any success.

In response to floraflora, I haven't read that article but suspect that 3 nights of properly controlled CC followed by many consecutive nights of good sleep isn't considered "prolonged crying". I'm well aware of the impact neglect has on a child but don't think that this instance is an example of it. Spiper, hope it carries on as successfully for you.

I am really pleased for you and your family, spiper
Thanks for letting us know the outcome!

cruise, hope no hangover today
Btw are you sleeping better now?

Just wanted to add that the book you mention, floraflora ('why love matters') appears to have only one line on 'cry it out' (rather than specifically controlled crying, which should be different) so it doesn't really examine this issue closely. I just wouldn't want people to think it is conclusive on this. It also says that cortisol levels and receptors, which could be affected by prolonged crying, appear to be 'set' by 6 months - perhaps a reason for waiting until then to do cc.

I don't want to give the impression that I'm a cc crusader - like Cruise I did it reluctantly and it has been only partially successful, but has enabled my dd to get a much longer stretch of unbroken (or only momentarily broken) sleep. Previously she was crying out of frustration at not being able to get to sleep, I think, even when I was co-sleeping and feeding on demand. However I find the certainty with which people oppose cc problematic, especially when they draw on research or books that don't seem very conclusive to me. Not trying to pick a fight here, but just wanted to give my twopence worth on 'why love matters' (which I think is a good book just not conclusive on cc)

Phew! I'll shut up now...

hi daddyj - still feeling constantly shattered but defo sleeping better and not waking with anxiety symptoms. I think just knowing that that is what they are has eliminated them. Oh the power of Mumsnet!

spiper

I did CC with DD1 and DD2, now 11 and 10 respectively. I didn't enjoy the experience either, and have avoided it with DS1 (10 mths - sleeps through 11 hours a night :-) )

Having said that, both my girls have grown up to be delightful, well adjusted and happy (hopefully it will stay that way as we head into teenage years!!) They are both great sleepers - very hard to get the older one up in the morning at the moment though.

I have to say that the benefit of a good night's sleep is very important. You know how you feel when sleep deprived - so encouraging good sleep in children can only be a good thing.

"I would worry less about his voice than his mental state - read Sue Gerhardt's 'Why love matters' for the effects that prolonged crying has on a baby's brain.
Sorry to be controversial."

Floraflora maybe I'm reading you wrong but this strikes me as mean and misinformed more than as controversial. What are you trying to say here by using the term 'mental state'?

I agree with a lot of what Cruisemum says. My baby was much happier once we helped her to sleep better. We also came to CC as a last resort after having tried everythnig else and it helped my child enormously. She still doesn't sleep through (13 months old) but at least she sleeps for more than 45 mins at a time.

I don't think it is responsible or helpful to always make the same assumptions about CC, especially as the much quoted 'evidence' that CC is damaging seems to often be misintepreted.