12 week old, please help

[AshBluex]

My DS is 12 weeks on Monday and is FF. He has always been on Aptamil comfort due to being constipated when a few days old.

He doesn't have a strict nap routine through the day as he tends to sleep after each bottle for about an hour then when we are out in the pram. He feeds every 3-4 hours through the day and has 8 ounces. He is a happy and good baby, and puts weight on well.

A few weeks ago we put him on hungry baby for his 7pm and 10pm bottles and he seemed happy and went from 10pm until 2.30/3am without feeds, then after this bottle went until 8am. We try keeping him awake late evening to make him tired by bed time.

The last 4 nights he has gone backwards. He goes down at 10pm and wakes at 1 for a bottle then at 4 but in between he is unsettled, grizzly and moves round as though he is uncomfortable. Through the day he is happy and content, but just recently of a night he is hard work. By 4am I have usually had enough and get him in bed with me, and he sleeps soundly for hours.

Has anyone got any advice or pointers, I am a FTM and am aware I may be getting it all wrong!

TIA xxx

Forgot to explain we have bedtime routine of bath an hour before last bottle, then massage, pjs and upto bed for last bottle. Room is dark and he is ffed in his sleeping bag ready for bed.**

Boost

Did you speak to HV about using different milks for different feeds? Why don’t you move him to hungry baby for all of his feeds? What weight it he?

I’m guessing this is down to the 12 week growth spurt. It may also be linked with 4 month sleep regression. I can’t offer any advice all I can say is you’re not alone. My DS is 13 weeks on Tuesday and we’ve had a terrible week. Gone from sleeping 9.30pm-4.30am to up every hour. It’s so tough.

Unfortunately sleep is not linear. They can go backwards for all kinds of reasons. We have gone from 6 hr stretches to waking every hr
It's really really tough - I know.

@mummy081212 thanks so much, he is 14 lbs 4 and we have used comfort to combat constipation so am worried he will get bunged up again if I stop. It's hard work isnt it feel like I'm doing something awfully wrong!! He has always been a loud and grizzly sleeper but never been so restless bless him xx

Maybe he’s uncomfortable because of the different formulas? Maybe speak to health visitor?
My baby is 12 weeks and is and always has woken every 2 hours. Baby’s are meant to wake regularly, even though it’s really tough. You say he sleeps soundly when with you, maybe he just wants his mummy rather than hungry baby feeds? Have you looked at co sleeping safely? It’s really tough at this age to know what they want!

I’d stick to one milk OP- he’s old enough to take softener for constapation.
Does he fall asleep in your arms during the last bottle or in his bed?

I agree. Cut out the hungry baby milk. My first had that for a while many years ago and it made her a bit constipated, so if he's unsettled in the night I'd stab a guess at tummy ache. Is he still following his usual pooing "pattern"?

I also think "they" say you shouldn't mix formulas as it can upset babies tummies. I recall changing from one type to another in the past and it causing some upset during the transition. So if you're feeding two types I'd say he's not happy about it.

If he's polishing off his 8oz then it's not enough and you need to give him more of his normal milk.

Don't worry about being a ftm and getting it wrong. I have 3 and still get it wrong. We're all just doing our best.

OP have you considered reflux? Only saying that as my DS is currently on ranitidine for same kind of symptoms during the night (unsettled and grizzly) and we have diagnosed silent reflux. Last night we had a much better night.

Keep him on one formula and if needs be change to hungry baby but give him some cool boiled water in between feeds to help with his constipation. His tummy will get used to it then.

I have no advice on FF but would like to add that you sound like you are trying to do everything you can to meet your child’s needs and therefore are doing a fabulous job. Please don’t be hard on yourself about getting things wrong. Everyone is winging it with their first baby (and their second in my case!).

@imisssleep2018 I would let him safely Cosleep but I have heard so many horror stories of when you try to transition in to a cot when they are older, I'm scared of making a rod for my own back. We have a next to me but be definitley sleeps better with us in bed. To be fair, he still has just as much milk when he is on hungry baby which is probably pointless. Thanks so much.

@Nicolenopants he falls asleep on us whilst burping and we pop him straight down in his next to me. Thank you.

@mavericksnoopy did you find the hungry baby helped fill baby at all? It seems to have no effect on DS when I'm sat thinking about it, and thanks so much it is so hard as I'm terrified of making him feel bad but want what's best for him! He seems Good on comfort so i might just stick with that, I was just worried he was taking too much milk for his age so was trying to help fill him.

@mummy081212 what are the symptoms of silent reflux, and what could I try to do to help him if it is? Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

@losingnemo thank you so much, it's awful when you know they aren't happy or content and are trying so hard to help! We will all muddle through I'm sure! Thanks so much for the support ❤

Could you try putting him down when he’s nodding off but not asleep? I read to do that in an article about the 3 month regression.
It said baby likes to fall asleep and wake up in the same place.
I cosleep with my 13 week so I can’t really give any advice from experience.

OP you sound like a lovley mum!

@nicolenopants how do you cosleep safely, I know he would prefer that but don't have any idea how to do it on a safe way. And I do try to put him down awake, but by the time he has fed and burped he is asleep. Should I wake him and put him back down? I'm so stuck. Thank you for your help.

@Nicolenopants aw thank you so much that's lovely!❤

It’s just us two which means she can have half the bed. She doesn’t have any pillows or duvet on her side and I put pillows on the floor in case she falls off but she tends to move towards me anyway.
She did sleep in her basket last night when my mum had her overnight. I’d like her to do that because I can’t ask anyone else to have her because I wouldn’t ask anyone else to co-sleep

Sorry didn’t mean to post yet!
I read that if there’s three in the bed it should go DS, you, DH because you will instinctively be more away of where baby is than your husband.
I wouldn’t wake him up so I’m not sure what to suggest there! This is my first baby as well!

Overall I think the hungry milk helped fill her a little bit - insofar that she'd have the same quantity but actually stay fuller for longer. However I believe that's because it's bulked out with thickeners that really they don't need when you could just give extra normal milk. When you think about it each milk that you're giving are opposite ends of the spectrum. What's the best option - giving a bit more milk or filling his tummy with something that is making him uncomfortable or that he doesn't need? Not a criticism at all - when you start different milks it's always for the best intentions.

My health visitor once said to me not to worry about what the formula boxes said and that all babies have different needs. This was when my 4 month old was eating about 3oz every few hours but was gaining weight and tracking on the centiles. When my youngest (3mo) was about 3wo she polished off a bottle (she's mixed fed but was mostly ff at that point), the HV said to me to up the milk and to always increase if they finished the bottle consistently. I really wouldn't worry about giving extra - he might only want a little bit extra, or you could try reducing the amount of time between feeds.

It's such a learning curve and you're doing great.