My 14 month old keeps waking up . Co-sleeper to own room

[Mymadbabyandme]

Hey everyone so I created an account back when my girl was 9 months I thought we was ready to start sleep training but I just gave up after 2 days as I felt guilty but having gone back to work when she turned 11 months I can’t do it anymore .
Since she was born she’s always been fussy/clingy/slept on my chest until 7 months ( naps and all night or she would cry and cry ) we’ve had the same bedtime routine since she was 6 months but she just wakes up and screams and cries as soon as she realises I’m not there and it’s so draining .
She now sleeps next to me in my bed I don’t like co-sleeping it’s just not for me . I hate that I have hardly any space on my bed , I hate that she moves about so much she’s head butted me some many times in the eyes and forehead .
She still wakes up 1-2 times a night for milk which I know she most likely doesn’t need anymore but she hardly eats in the day . I’ve tried giving water and she stayed awake until she got the milk and then slept .
On a normal night she’s asleep by half 7 and not up properly until 7 in the morning which is good but I hate that once she’s down in the bed at half 7 if she realises within that time until I come to bed ( around half 10/11) she’ll scream . She’ll scream and scream until I’m next to her . And then wanting milk at around 1/2am and again around 4/5am .
Sorry about repeating and waffling what I wanna know is should I try dropping the feeds first or start the sleep training now ?
And because she’s always slept in a bed should I still buy a cot ? Or get her a bed with bed rails all around it ? If cot can someone suggest a good one which will last a long time she’s 14 months now and is very tall for her age ( everyone comments on how tall she is ) . Has anyone had any success with sleep training 1 year old and clingy baby ?
I just want sleep again since the day she’s been born I haven’t slept more than 2/3 hours of unbroken sleep I look after her on my own I just know I would be more happy if I slept I feel so bad sometimes I get so angry from the lack of sleep sometimes I wish I never even had her and I feel awful when I even say it .

I feel for you OP :( although I have not had quite so hard. I had a wonderful sleeper who was sleeping 11-12 hours a night with no waking AT ALL since she was about 8 months and just one wake for milk before then. However, at around the age of 1 she started waking up in the night and it’s been an absolute nightmare for the last 2 1/2 months and it’s getting worse every day :(. We are all exhausted and I wonder if I should start sleep training. It’s even more frustrating knowing how well she was sleeping before, we can’t figure out what triggered this behaviour. She’s been ill a few times and those nights were particularly bad, but she’s not stopped even when she got better.

Thanks for replying . Guess it is reassuring ( not for you ) that there are others and I’m not alone it’s just so stressful I just feel trier everyday and I’m so snappy because of her . I think with your little girl sleep training would work from what I’ve read ( and I’ve done a lot of reading ) if they could put themselves to sleep before then they sometimes need reminding on how . With mine she’s never known how to . I think I’m just gonna bite the bullet and go for it . I just don’t know what to do when she wakes up in the night do I still give the milk or continue wit the training and just keep reassuring her that I’m there and keep walking out ? It’s so confusing 🙈!! Xxx

You are certainly not alone in having a bad sleeper and I’m surprised on one else replied?! I’m not much help as you can see, and I would have been very keen to know other people’s experiences. It just seems mumsnet has become a place to discuss anything else but baby/children related stuff, which I thought it’s been created for in the first place. I hope you find some answers/help to your problem. Did you watch any super nanny stuff? Have you considered hiring (perhaps short term) a trained night nanny? xx

Absolutely agree with you there, I keep reading really old threads in hope of some tips but none really say what to do about going from co-sleeping in bed to what to do about sleep training I think cot would still be more safe as she has rolled off the end of the bed once ( i felt like the worst human being in the world )

Yes I’ve watched them supernannny ones but and feel like I know what to do I just don’t know how to go about the milk part either do I just go cold turkey on her ? Do I ease it off part water ? I just feel like I’m so cluecless sometimes I really do wonder what I was thinking to think I was cut out for this mummy business lol
I did look at local night nanny’s but they charge so much and what I’ve read they usually do some kind of sleep training so I could probably do it myself . I’ve just gotta go buy her a new cot I guess .
Hopefully you’ll get some sleep soon too :(
Xx

I didn't have all of these issues with dc1 but had a lot of them! I'd get a cot bed (ours is from ikea, and lasted til our ginormous boy was three). Maybe sleep on an airbed /mattress on the floor next to her for a few nights to get her used to it. She can still see you and possibly feel you between the bars. I spent hours sleeping with my hand on his back this way.
I'd get her used to the cot before stopping the feeds. I personally found doing the 1-2 feeds a night easier than stopping them as they were quick to do and he resettled whereas the screaming if I withheld milk ruined the whole night. It was definitely a comfort thing rather than 'needed: he did drop these around 15-16 mths. He only came out of our room around 14 mths to out this into context (which was not my original plan at all).

To drop feeds, I'd start by offering a long cuddle/song when she cries then putting him back in her bed for a few minutes and holding her hand. If dc1 persisted I'd feed him at this point. Gradually he got the idea.
I'm sure there are faster methods than mine but for us it was the best compromise between sleep, feeling like I was making progress to getting my night times back and getting him too upset.
P. S. Dc2 who is a much better sleeper had a dreadful patch around 13-14 mths and it was teething related. Loads popped through shortly after despite no visible teething signs in the day.
Good luck. It's so brutal having no sleep but it really will change at some point.

Thanks for your reply @zebrainpyjamas .
Yeah I think I will try getting her use to her own room before anything she’s never even napped in there . Thank you for taking the time to write the useful tips I’ll give them a try !
I keep telling myself this time will pass but it just feels like this road has no end to it ! Xx