Sleep deprivation driving me mad

[lulupop]

Aaaaaargh. Bit of a non-thread this, but just wanted to have a moan about my total lack of sleep. It's taken us two and a half years till DS now sleeps well in his own bed all night, and now DD (4 months) is awake all the time. She goes down OK at 7pm-ish-sleeps till about 11pm, and then from then on she's awake every hour. She's not always hungry as often only sucks for a few minutes before dropping off again, but if I try and settle her with a dummy then I have to return time after time to pop it back in every time it falls out.

Half way through the night I end up putting her in bed with me, when she sleeps SLIGHTLY better (still a lot of wriggling) but I then lie awake with a dead arm, unable to move for fear of waking the little terror again (but let's not get into the pros and cons of co-sleeping again here .)

Then she wakes up at 6am, turns her beautiful face in my direction and gives me that smile...

I love her to bits but I can't take much more of this. The thought of going through what we've been through with DS at night depresses me beyond belief.

What age do you think it's OK to start CC? Any other ideas in the meantime? Am going to make very strong pot of tea now...

Lulupop, I can totally sympathise as I'm still to an extent going through this with my 7 month old dd. I don't really have any great advice but over the past few nights I've been putting her down in her cot and just sitting on the floor beside her and -amazingly- after a few grumbles she's gone to sleep. I used to get up to her every time she made a noise during the night but I've been waiting a while and she's been going back to sleep by herself. Could you try sitting in the room with her and making reassuring noises until she goes to sleep? AT least if she does cry you know she's not lonely or feeling abandoned (my biggest fear). I genuinely didn't think it would work but desperation made me try and so far there's a big improvement. I still fed her last night at 12 then 5.30 but I was feeding her every couple of hours because I thought that was the only way she'd go to sleep during the night- I was wrong.

Hope that makes sense, I've rambled a bit, sorry.

Oh, I think they recommend cc from 6 or 7 months.

I also sympathise totally. My ds was just like this until 8months when we were able to do cc with him, and he's now a fantastic sleeper. I'm expecting no2 at the beginning of Feb and I'm slightly dreading the sleep deprivation again. I don't really know what to suggest except not to go to her for every tiny bleat in case she goes back to sleep herself, and - this was my LIFESAVER - was do shifts with my dh. We had a spare room, but a bed in the living room would do - one of you does, say 10pm to 2/3am, the other does 2/3am to six am, then gets another hour's kip. That way when you do go to bed you can believe you will have at least a few hours of real SLEEP...aah. You will need to equip dh with a bottle of expressed bm or formula, but otherwise leave him to it. You can do this alternate nights or even just at weekends, but you really must have a break or you will be depressed. Your baby has two parents and when you both do the night shifts it helps IME. Also, I strongly recommend that you at least try cc at 6months if things don't settle down a bit. It was too early for my ds, but at 8months it was easy. I had no problems about waking at night to feed my baby, it was waking every hour, or my baby staying awake for three hours between 2am and 5am that was killing me. And guess what? He slept every bit as badly (possibly worse) in bed with us as out of it! You have my utmost sympathy - and you have sent a shudder down my spine re no2!

I used to cry while I was feeding ds for the sixth or seventh time at night. It's no fun.

Aloha, please don't get depressed re no.2 because of me! I was v worried things would turn out like this too when I was PG, but even though the nights are dreadful, she's such a gorgeous little thing that the days carry me through, mostly.

Unfortunately my DH sleeps like the dead, and I wake up with every snuffle from either child. Even when he is sleeping in the same room as one of the children, and I am on a different floor of the house, I wake up to their crying before he does. I used to think he was putting it on but now I know he really can't help it. So although he always offers to do night feeds, I find I wake up anyway and then just think I might as well do it myself, since he often lets baby drop off before she's even had half the bottle, then tells me "She didn't want it". She wakes up an hour later and I have to give her the rest!

Anyway sounds like you have a more useful DH so try not to worry too much! How old is your first child?

I am going through similar with DD (16 weeks) - hoping it's just a phase, but I'm reading this thread avidly. Lulupops, sympathy...My dh rather took me by surprise this morning by stating that he thought I should do ALL the night shifts so that he can get sleep for work! He must think I can catnap during the day but it doesn't really work like that. Feeling cross -look, an emoticon to prove it - and tired.

Yep, my dh can't do night wakienings because he works all day, unlike me obviously. He actually slept in dd's room until we moved her in there last week (she's 7 months) and I've spent most of the evening in there ON THE FLOOR with her the last few nights so I/she doesn't disturb him too much. HAve to say tho he already sleeps really badly and genuinely can't function on any less sleep and he does get her up, dressed and fed every morning then wakes me up before he goes to work and lets me lie iin at weekends- bliss.

(She won't take bottles so that's the main reason he doesn't get up to her as unfortunately he can't breast feed, much as I've begged him to try)

Lulupop keep us posted and sleep during the day if you can!

spots - do you have another child to look after? If not, catnap during the day, and let DH do more housework.

I had the same with both of mine - although at least when my ds came into bed with us he slept quite well. With dd she woke every hour for a comfort feed until at 8 months the hv said enough (I work full time and went back to work when she was 6 months). Tried cc and 13 days later one child sleeping ALL night! .
I did all the night feeds as they were bf - and anyway, I think I woudl have still woken up.
It does get better - and I think you can try cc from 6 months

Oh sweetie, I remember that sleep deprivation SOOOO well, big big hugs.

Can't sleep during day as have hyperactive 2 yr old too!

Going to bed when DD does tonight, just too tired to cook for dh

lulu, cooking for your husband should be the least of your worries. Enjoy your early night.

Hi
Does controlled crying = gina ford? I did cc with ds1 at 6months. Happily he never got on with a dummy, he's a thumb sucker - can't loose it in the middle of the night. But recollect that gf disapproves of dummies. Wonder if you could try any of her techniques to wean your dd off the dummy? Hope she doesn't promote cold turkey.
Are you absolutely sure you can't catnap during the day. When ds2 young and keeping me up at night, I got so tired sometimes that I'd put the telly on for ds1 and have five/ten minutes doze on the settee while ds2 having a sleep. Not real sleep I know but every bit counts in the early days.
Agree you should go to bed early evening if you feel like it. Absolutely no reason why dh shouldn't fend for himself

Ha! DH came home from work early so he's cooking me supper.

Re Gina Ford and her methods, I tried them with DS and found little success. I just took his dummy away at 6 mos when I was doing sleep training anyway. Think that's what I'll do this time too. Meanwhile I'm doing all I can to encourage her to find her thumb!

Lulupop,
You have my sympathy. DD is 3 months and were getting up twice a night re feeds. also have to get up to put the dummy back in. DD's also a very restless sleeper and some nights just keeps me awake for 2 hours with her half awake/wriggling state. I cant offer any advice sorry but just wanted to let you know your not alone. My mum has dd on a friday so at least I get one nights uninterupted sleep. DP is also deaf to DD crying and I still wake up anyway. Could you do something similar and get MIl/Mum to babysit?

The lack of sleep is something I think everyone underestimates before they have a baby and it was the biggest shock to me. We have no relatives nearby and went without sleep for months and I can sympathise with you lulupop. Sorry I don't have any advice but remember although it doesn't seem like it now it really doesn't last forever. You have my sympathy.

You are COOKING???? No, sleep is far more important. If anything, your well-rested husband should be cooking for you.

My DS is 14weeks old,weighs 16lb 11oz and is waking every hour or so. I have him in bed with me anyway but now I have to hold him or a least have my arm round him for him to stay asleep at all! Mostly I feed him back off as i'm too tired to do anything else but sometimes I rock him.
The last month or so he won't sleep during the day at all unless he's held.
I'm finding it very draining,especially as I have 2 other children.

Went to bed last night at 8.30. DS woke at 9.30. DD woke at 10.20. At midnight there was a big fight in the street outside my window (nasty pub down the road). The police came and sorted it out. Then a car alarm went off. That set the dog next door off barking. By this time it was 1am and DD woke for a feed. Then she fed on and off till 5am, when she got up for the day!

Going to my mum and dad's today where the children will be taken care of and I can pass out for the weekend!

What a very good idea that sounds!