I feel like everyone else’s baby is sleeping through?!

[TLH0307]

Am I the only one surrounded by mums who brag about getting a solid night of sleep, even though their babies are younger than mine?! My girl is 11 months old and is generally a shit sleeper. Unless she is sleeping at MIL’s house where, of course, she sleeps solidly from 7pm til 7:30am.
For me I was up last night at 2:30am til 5am then back up at 6am. Last week she slept through for 3 nights on the trot then it all went pear shaped again (as expected). I’ve just gone back to work now and I’m finding it impossible to work shifts in a demanding job on a maximum of 3 hours of sleep. She CAN sleep through but she just refuses, and when she wakes usually I end up having to give her a bottle in a bid to get her off to sleep again in the early hours...I know she’s taking the piss out of me because she’s shown she can sleep but would clearly rather keep me up half the night.
She eats and drinks enough in the day, has a big bowl of porridge and fruit then an 8oz bottle right before bed...how do I get her to stop waking most night for these bottles?!?! Anyone been in a similar position? She won’t go back to sleep without one 90% of the time.

Same here. DS almost 8 months and no end in sight. This week he is waking up 6-8 times a night and obviously I can’t give him 6 bottles so I just hold him and rock rock rub rub while he cries himself back to sleep :( back to work at the end of this month and really don’t know how I am going to manage. This is me 🧟‍♀️ most days

Yep can’t stand hearing about how well everyone’s baby sleeps. I have a 5 mo and she wakes every hour sometimes. I don’t really have any advice other than there is a sleep programme you can buy (annoyingly) but if it doesn’t work you get your money back. It’s called little ones and I think it basically looks at awake times during the day and how they’re napping and self settling. Might be useful

Hi ya. This is just going to be quick response. Do you mean sleep through as in a solid 5 hours without waking up? Its normal to wake up during the night even as adults about 2-3 times per night. We just get ourselves back to sleep without help. Please read up on sleep associations. What is that you are doing when she wakes up? Can you give her minimal attention? Maybe ask your MIL.

My daughter was exactly the same at 11 months. It about a month after she turned 1 that she started sleeping through consistently. It coincided with when she started walking so maybe the extra activity wore her out. No advice I'm afraid but she'll get there!

It's a good night if my 14 month old does a 3 hour stretch of sleep.

His older sister was sleeping 14 hours straight through at this age.

Some babies are just shit.

They wouldn't be bragging about the bad nights! And I bet some of them are just lying, too. Got to be a perfect mummy, after all...

Much sympathy to all. It gets better. When they go off to college.

My 3 year old still wakes up so you are not alone! Everyone else’s kids slept 7-7 for 2 days old 🙄

From even!

People lie. I know from experience. I have a friend who boasts on Facebook about her child sleeping in until 10am but it's because he doesn't go to bed until 11pm. I'd rather have some evening to myself thanks!

My eldest didn't sleep through until he was 15mo. My youngest is 2 and still doesn't sleep through.

You're not alone. You're not necessarily doing anything wrong. Some kids just aren't sleepers!

My 1yo has slept through 3 times ever - he’s currently up about 4 times a night, so there’s no end in sight. It makes me feel like I’ve failed him, but he’s always been a terrible sleeper and I’m just doing what I can to get by.

People only tell you about the bad nights, never the good nights!
I have a friend who has a son 4 months younger than mine, who sleeps 6-6.30 EVERY NIGHT... her husband works with mine, who on numerous occasions has said 'I've been up with DS since 4 this morning'... she's never mentioned those nights to me though!
Even went as far as to say 'I wouldn't put up with that', when I mentioned DS didn't go to sleep til 10 one night as couldn't settle!

Same friend questioned why I let DS sleep in his pram as a one off because we had company, and I knew he wouldnt settle knowing we had company, but would with a Little Rock in the pram whilst we were sat in the garden... she said 'why can't you just put him in bed and walk away'.
I popped round there's to drop something off a few weeks later, just she and her son were home, and there he was with his pram in the front room asleep!

Don't listen to people who only tell you about the good times... people do get good sleepers, those people know not to brag!

That was supposed to say 'the good nights, never the bad nights'

I recommend this book for some sleep science facts and tips. The strategies I used here gave my 3 children excellent sleeping habits. Its not always bragging. I worked hard and strategically. I know adults with bad sleeping habits. The advice given to the adults is the same as for children in the book. Sleeping is a skill we can make improvements on.

millpondsleepclinic.com/teach-your-child-to-sleep/

Thank you everyone! Oh it’s so nice (sort of?!) to hear I’m not alone in being an actual zombie!! I just keep thinking it’ll pass but then I have the occasional strop when I realise she’s nearly 1 and hates sleep. Hopefully she’ll sleep before she leaves home eh 😂 @yellowskyblue She sleeps 5 hours yeah but just cannot settle herself if she wakes up. Unless she is at MIL’s who (to my knowledge) doesn’t do anything differently to us 😩 @bethanyg25 I’ve got the little ones sleep programme and I really tried sticking with it but it just didn’t seem to bloody work 😩 x

Yellowskyblue please be kind. It’s great that you were able to use strategies that worked for your children, but babies are all different and you don’t know how your children would have been had you not implemented the advice in the book you recommend.

Mine mostly does but she is nearly 3.

It’s a recent phenomenon.

Sleep train your DC, then.

@jackshouse a very welcome phenomenon I’m sure! 😂

@bucketlid I have tried that, I’ve stuck to sleep programmes and I’ve read several books. I’ve let her cry it out but each time I did that she projectile vomited, so as you can imagine I am reluctant to do that again...👎🏼

My DS is 15 months and has never slept through, not once. He was definitely the worst sleeper at any of our baby groups (everybody else's seemed to be sleeping at least 6 hours in a row early on). But when I went back to work so many of my colleagues told me their babies didn't sleep through until 2 or 3. Maybe a lot of new mums are just desperate to come across as 'good' at it.

Mines 3.5 years, he soooo doesn't

@herSymphony I am being kind. By letting people know that there are steps that can be taken to help improve your situation. There are people making a living in this area. I did not say it was going to be easy. I struggled with my first. You could not even feed her to sleep as a young baby, which I am glad of now. I thank the mother who actually pointed me in the direction of some sleep science. Otherwise I would still be believing that there is nothing that I could do to improve. Just wait until they are 3. I heard once. What utter nonsense!

Babies are all different. Its about instilling good habits and adapting to your own family. I did not follow all the same steps for all my children. Its not just about leaving them to cry either. Hence the book recommendation.

@yellowskyblue I may try the book, I’ve read a few but the techniques seemed a little harsh! Thank you

In a year which will go quick you’ll forget how stressed this made you - promise.

This is from the mum of a child who was literally an owl (who also didn’t nap) until 14months. Second one bloody loves sleep though so thank fuck.