2 year old f***xn annoying at night

[Debbie7612]

She never sleeps.
I’m literally crying as I type. 6 year old has school tomorrow. I have work. My probation been extended for performance (no thanks to no sleep) partner is away.
What is the matter with this child?
I leave her to cry it out and she trashes her room and flings door open so her voice carries through our little house, disturbing everyone. Would it be mean if I got a lock and locked her in?
If o take her to my bed or I lay with her she fuckkng fidgets none stop and keeps crawling around all over me and I get no sleep.
I don’t know what to do. I’m irritated. Annoyed sad 😢

No suggestions just giving the thread a bump

Yes it would be wrong to get a lock on her door.

I would do whatever it takes to get the most sleep for everyone, be that putting her bed in your room, cuddling her to sleep anything that works that is responding to her needs. It won’t be forever. Does she sleep in the day time?

Contact your health visitor for sleep advice.

Is this ongoing or a new problem?
Is she napping during the day?
Has she got a firm, calming bedtime routine?
Does she have a comforter? Are her pyjamas itchy/uncomfortable?
Has her routine changed recently? Her sister has recently gone back to school?

Someone I know put a lock on his daughters door and in the morning discovered that she’s split her head open trying to get out. It’s not only ‘mean’ but dangerous and bordering on abuse. I know you’re at your wits end but I want to deter you from doing that as much as I can!

My kids respond well to warm baths with lavender oil and a cup of chamomile tea, decent routine, dark room with gentle music, as relaxing an atmosphere as possible. Have you tried having her in your room but in a separate bed?

I have her in my room but she’ll never want to be more than a breath away from me which is very distressing because she keeps waking and touching me which wakes me up.
She has a bath, story, warm milk, lots of comforters. She recently started refusing her comforter and wanting to be closer to mummy. Comforters used to really work well before. I just can’t tekk what’s changed.
Well, yesterday I ignored her. I got her brother shut his own so that her cries would be minimised. I went to her soothed her and left the room. And how she cried for an hour and trashed the whole room. I even got her a bedside lamp. But she slept off after an hour of wailing. It felt good. She didn’t get up till 7.30am and she was very happy.
She naps during the day at nursery and I keep asking them to keep her from it. I’ll ask them to wake her after an hour to see if it helpz
I just cannot keep up with these sleepless nights it makes me very sad and tired and depressed. Thanks all

I'm really sorry you're struggling OP.
Have you tried controlled crying? I know you say she trashed her room so I'm guessing she's not in a cot. Could she go on a cot and just soother her every 5-10 mins? No talking or eye contact just strokes, don't lift her out of her cot?

I hope you find the answer. I know loads of MNers don't agree with CC which is fine but worked for us but we did it at a much younger age so not sure the above advice is age appropriate but sleep deprivation is torture so I hope you find a way. Good luck xx

She used to climb out of her cot which frightened us greatly so we got her s small toddler bed.
I will try CC this night. At this point I just need something that works. I feel like I’m being punished otherwise. Thanks a lot xx

What about dropping the day time nap all together. She doesn't sound like she's tired at night time.

She sounds maybe too young to be out of the cot. My sister had to put DN back into a cot with a mesh zipped net over the top to stop him from getting out but he went back to sleeping safely almost immediately.

I used cc with both of mine. I know it’s frownwd upon but I found it worked.

First night I had 5hrs of tantrum
Second an hour
Third 20 mins
Fourth nothing.

I had to stick it it strictly otherwise I’d be back to square one but times 10!

Good luck op

The climbing would be frightening so if she needs to be in a toddler bed it might be worth a look at Supernanny's tips about taking them back to bed. For me it sounds a bit like she is using you to fall asleep so if she self settles she will sleep, she must be exhausted. Hope it goes well for you tonight. Hold firm. It's really hard but a great skill you are teaching her. Wishing you luck!

My brother remembers being left to scream in his room at 2 and it has really messed him up.

I know it’s hard OP but you need to look at why she isn’t able to wind down. She is so tiny still for you to just leave her to it. She has absolutely no understanding of expectations and just wants to be with you. If she is at nursery all day does she have enough time with you in the evening to reconnect?

Update: So I’ve just put her to bed and she was asleep within 12 minutes which is a record breaker. Previously even if I’m in her room with her we can do 1.5 to 2 hours.
She didn’t have a nap today. I put lavender in a diffuser. She slept off to twinkle twinkle... wish me luck and thanks a lot ladies😘💃💃😘😘

@Debbie7612 how did it go last night?

I sympathize OP. We had to cut out daytime naps altogether or our 2-year-old would still be bouncing off the walls at eleven. Childcare not impressed with the lack of naps, however.

Tell me about it. It’s like all nursery wants to do is put her to sleep at 11 and let her sleep
For however long she wants to. I think it’s borderline lazy.
@whoknewbeefstew she woke up once but didn’t stay up long and didn’t trash her room yaaay I think she was too tired for that. She did wail a bit but I did the CC. Singing twinkle twinkle to her anytime I went to pat her. Actually there was nothing to trash in her room because I refused to tidy her room till this is over so she’s probably looked at it and though ‘welp’
I feel so much better now. I was seriously losing it a few days ago and I just cried throughout the night because it was becoming very unbearable. How would a child stay up till like 4am and the family expected to function normally?

Been trying sleep training with 3 and a half year old for a week - moving away from her when falling asleep in the evenings as she’s always relied on us to stay with her. We’ve got as far as the door so far but she still needs to be able to see us to settle. Doesn’t take too long, but it has created a nightmare when she wakes up at night - she’s never slept through. We don’t let her sleep with us anymore and take her back to bed. We have been staying with her until she goes back to sleep as she doesn’t otherwise with a view of gradually removing ourselves from her room both at bedtime and during the night. We have now been consistent for a week and she now wakes up 12 times a night from 1am! We are beyond exhausted and can’t imagine starting a new working week with such little sleep... Does it have to get worse before it gets better? Should we just try controlled crying straightaway? We can’t go on like this or we’ll all end up breaking down. Any advice welcome please.

Couldn’t work out how to start a new thread, so this is the closest topic I found to post on.

Locking a child in a room is abuse (category-neglect) so please never ever do it as exhausted as you are.

Very rigid bed time routine helped my DD sleep through from quite early on. Bath at set time, pyjamas, book, bed. Some kids are better sleepers than others. It is a phase and it will get better.

I'd suggest to speak to health visitor about this.

LiliR79 you all must be exhausted! I’m so sorry to hear that. Does she sleep when she’s next to you?
@mummee2 our health visitor has been made aware and they are coming out to see us about this.

God my mum and the childminder both used to let my daughter nap. I used to go potty! They were expressly told NO NAPS! If she had an hour nap in the day then she would be awake at least 3 hours later! I would tell them there is no point! “oh but she was so tired”...yes but she bloody won’t sleep tonight!

Glad you seem to be sorting though