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Is the aim of controlled crying to self settle - or sleep though the night?!! Mine can do one but not the other!!

5 replies

dashitauntagatha · 04/01/2019 20:29

Is there anything we can do about his night wakings if we've already sleep trained him? He's 17 months

He's always been a fair to middling sleeper I would say. We did controlled crying at 7 months because I was having to rock/jiggle him to sleep at night and for 3 naps a day (as well as any night wake ups) and suddenly realised I was doing that for about 4 hours a day and my back was at breaking point! We'd tried all the gentle methods first.

He responded really well to CC - the classic 3 days - and I still BF him at night but he would go straight back to sleep after rather than needing more jiggling for hours. I stopped BF at night at about 10/11 months and again he responded really well and started sleeping through the night. So far so good.

Then when he turned one he had months of illness and teething - the canines were the worst - absolutely horrible. He would sometimes cry for 3 hours solid at night - of course when he's ill or teething we comfort him - in fact we've never really had to do CC again after those first few days.

My understanding of CC was that it's to teach them to self settle? Well, he can do that - when we put him down at night he goes straight to sleep - he might sometimes grizzle for a few minutes first but it's very rare.

So now he's not sick or teething any more - soI don't think he NEEDS comfort - I just think he's used to it - what do we do about night wakings?

We got into the habit of lying with him on the futon in his room until he fell asleep again during this period of not being well but I just can't do it any more. I'm 7 months pregnant and can't lie on my back for ages at night to comfort him and also find it really hard to get him off the bed again and into his cot without waking him due to having to heave myself off the bed!

He can sometimes take up to an hour to go back to sleep during which time he tosses, turns, asks for water, blows raspberries on my belly, talks to himself etc - he doesn't seem distressed but if we try and leave him in his cot or put him back in before he's asleep again he kicks off.

I really need to resolve this problem before baby number two arrives! Also the thought of the next 6 weeks of work on little to no sleep as well as a big exam and a house renovation going on has got me quite frankly at my tether's end.

Do we need to do a form of CC just for night wakings again? We did actually sort of try but it didn't seem to work like it did the first time.

If you've made it to the end of this - please have some sort of medal/prize and any advice will be gratefully received!!!

OP posts:
dashitauntagatha · 04/01/2019 20:31

Should also add that naps are no trouble either - he goes straight down since we did CC.

OP posts:
soulrider · 04/01/2019 20:31

I thought self settling meant that if they wake in the night instead of crying/waking up properly they go back to sleep on their own?

mistermagpie · 04/01/2019 20:34

No idea but I'm in the same boat, DS is 21 months settles for naps and bed by himself (we just plonk him in the cot and leave the room) but when he wakes in the night he can't settle. I often end up giving him a bottle, which is ridiculous at his age, but lying next to him doesn't work. Sometimes he cries and sometimes he's just awake, but he's noisy and shouty and wakes his brother up so I can't just leave him to it.

dashitauntagatha · 04/01/2019 20:44

@soulrider - I suppose what I mean is that he is capable of going to sleep without any input from us in the evening or for his naps - so in effect he already has that 'skill' - so what's different about night wakings? Is sleep training the answer or do we just have to put up and shut up and accept he's not a great sleeper...?

@mistermagpie Sounds very similar? Does the bottle work? Mine doesn't even drink milk any more but I'd be willing to try anything! I'm sorry for you going through the same thing - I expected to be getting a bit more sleep by now!!

OP posts:
DrWhy · 04/01/2019 21:13

No idea how to stop the wakings but your DH needs to be doing half of them now and all of them when you have the newborn (or maybe alternate children if you are bottle feeding), it’s the only way we cope in a similar situation - although in our case DS has never slept through so we are both pretty used to being woken, he’s just over 2 and DD is now 8 weeks.
For quite a while DH would just take DS to the spare room and co sleep with him to get us both the most sleep but recently he’s trying to resettle him in his own room if it’s before about 6am and he’s not unwell to try to reduce that habit. DD is in a co-sleeper cot next to me so minimal disruption when she wakes.

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