Normal for newborn?

[chloem93]

Hi,

My newborn only wants to sleep in my bed on her side with my arm under her head cradling her, she hates laying on her back. Is this normal? I know co sleeping is a subject where some swear by it and others scream how dangerous it is so I'm not looking for a answer as such, more like advice and discussion.
My daughter is a week and a day old, her cot is right next to my bed but I have her Moses basket in the cot which is what I've been trying to get her use to... but she's just not having it. Tried a hot water bottle to warm up basket mattress so it's not cold for her, tried rolled up blankets around her to make her feel more secure but that hasn't worked either. When I put her in the basket she will constantly suck on her dummy and won't settle, she'll spit it out and then start to moan and kick... I refuse to leave her to cry so then I'm forced to pick her up. I try changing nappy and feeding & then try to put her down again but still doesn't want to sleep there. Any other suggestions or should I just co sleep with her? I do get paranoid about doing it as I've been warned by my mother that it will be a hard habit to break and it can be dangerous if I did roll over. The only other place she sleeps for a short time is her bouncer (it's not flat, more of a cocoon shape) but she doesn't sleep as long in that like she does when I'm cradling her. I think I set myself up for this as I did it in the hospital with her on the first night, the midwife came in and told me off for it but I was in so much pain that I found it easier keeping her in bed with me than having to keep getting in and out of bed (still in a lot of pain now).

So is this normal? I wasn't expecting loads of sleep with a newborn but this plus her cluster feeds can make me feel like I'm having a mental breakdown.

Congratulations on the birth of your baby.

Please be kind to yourself. She’s brand new to the world and used to the constant comfort she had in your womb. It’s quite normal for her to want to be with you constantly at the moment.

To begin with, DS would only sleep on my chest after a feed. We’re not comfortable with co-sleeping so this meant I had to try to stay awake.

I found it helped to keep trying him in his cot, so that he got used to waking up there. We’re now 3 weeks in and he’ll happily sleep in there at night now (once he’s drifted off on me!)

If you’ve found a way that works for now, go with it. Research the safer sleeping guidelines around co-sleeping. You can retry the basket in a day or two when you’re more rested.

That sounds totally normal to me. All 3 of mine acted like their cot was a torture instrument at first! DD3 is now 5 weeks and will sleep in her cot, but as the other poster has said, only after she's nodded off in my arms first. For the first week or so though I didn't have a hope of putting her down at all! I think they're just a bit more wakeful at night and want comfort.
I wouldn't worry about forming a habit unless you're still doing it in a couple of years!! It's all about gentle transitions at this age so keep trying the cot but mainly do what feels right for you.

Yeah normal. So I cosleep!

Oh and all now in own beds so don't worry about them never going to sleep on own!!

Completely normal. Unsafe cosleeping is dangerous but safe cosleeping is fine.

Read the website below about how to do it safely and the safest position to do it in.

www.basisonline.org.uk

Congratulations on your new baby!

I would just co-sleep, so long as you are not a smoker/ drinker/ all the usual caveats. I've had three children and cannot imagine the carnage if I hadn't just brought them in to bed with me to sleep.

Your post seems focused on 'rods for backs' and the guilt that comes from feeling like things should be a certain way otherwise anything that goes wrong will be all your fault. It's not fair that your Mum has encouraged that feeling.

You need to shelve that guilt. From here on in there will be 1) the way you thought things were going to be and then 2) the ways things need to be for you to manage and you need to fill that gap with humour and patience and not guilt because that ruins everything.