I'm not going to sleep train... am I crazy?

[MashNpeas]

I'm seriously considering shunning all sleep training methods.

And no I'm not a smug mum of a wonderful sleeper I just haven't come across one that I feel comfortable with.

Baby is nearly 5 months old, will either bf to sleep (for bedtime sleep) or will be rocked and walked around. Wakes up 3-4 times between 7-7am and will usually feed back to sleep in the night. Baby can't self soothe and relies on us both (DH or me - baby doesn't rely on bf) to get to sleep (both to start sleep and if wakes up from a nap)

Baby will tend to nap well if our day allows a longer nap from approx 9.30-11 and again from 2-4ish... sometimes with a very short catnap in car or pram too. Some days naps are a battle and lack of naps make bedtime hard work!!

My question (for those who've stuck if our this far) am I naive in thinking baby will grow out into being able to self soothe or am I going to be rocking a three year old in my arms?!

If I am naive what is the gentlest methods you've found (for my angel PFB whom I want to cuddle forever )

You’re only 5 months in....it’s too early to be sleep training anyhow! I thought I wouldn’t sleep train...then it got to 21 months and my little one was waking 2 hourly and I also had a newborn. We did controlled crying and after 2 nights he was sleeping through. I have no regrets, he’s much happier and energetic now he sleeps well.

I don’t think at 5 months you can really tell whether you’ll need to sleep train, it’s completely normal to wake up at that age!

People can make you feel like the only choice is to rock them and be stuck with an 18 year old who needs your help to sleep, or sleep train and emotionally damage your screaming child... But there are middle ways.

The No Cry Sleep Solution has been fab for our four DCs. It's not rocket science but lots of gentle support for ways to encourage more independent sleep, without tears for baby or parent. I would say that it's not immediate - if you want no tears then you will need to allow a week or two and be persistent.

I've been very gentle, and done most baby naps with feeds, in the sling or in the buggy, and have never cried it out. All of them, even our incredibly refluxy and sleepless Ds2, slept fully independently from 18 months - and most were barely waking from between 9-12 months. You can get there!

I sleep trained one but not the other. maybe coincidence but DD who was left in her cot awake to settle herself slept through the night at a very early age, no waking and always settled well. DS who wasn't sleep trained but cuddled to sleep instead was a nightmare, up and down all night and didn't sleep through until he was 2yo..

I can't answer why i did it with one and not the other, oh how I wish I had done it with both!!

Whatever you do it's right for you

I’ve not sleep trained either of mine. Both are completely different, eldest slept through on her own by her own accord but needed lots of help to get to sleep. She finally cracked it at about 4 with the help of audio books. It is much easier to sort when they can understand your reasoning and you can listen to how you can help them. 4 years sounds like a long time but it really wasn’t, especially if you just accept you’re going to wait.

Youngest is the other way round, still wakes up multiple times at nearly a year but getting her to sleep isn’t an issue. She’s been exhausting but it won’t be forever. I know any kind of formal training won’t help either. I can tell it would be a very miserable time with no end result.

The thing I’ve found is that life chucks in curveballs (weaning, childcare, School etc) where they have to adapt their routines accordingly and with that comes changes in their behaviour, including sleep patterns. I’ve found it easier to accept we’ll just wait for the next change and go with it. After a period of resisting with my eldest, I can’t tell you how much less stressful it is!

All babies are different, just do what's right for you and your tiny one. There's no foolproof method, so all you can do is find whatever works for you.

Oh yes I did realise 5 months was too young - but as I started looking into options none of them felt right. If and when a sleep training routine must come into play I think I will go for the long game with the no tears route!

I know CIO methods would be fastest but personally I couldn't do it!

I guess it's too early yet to make such a grand statement, you have to go with what your comfortable with at each stage.

Sleep training is such a loaded term. There are many ways to encourage independent sleeping, including just some common sense approaches to sleep which are a path to future good sleep (such as fostering feelings of security, trying to avoid offering night feeds immediately upon waking - though 5 months too early to discourage night feeds - etc etc).

Obviously some children seem to find sleeping easier than others and it's really hard to say how you'll feel about it unless it becomes a problem to be honest.

Just take it as it goes and, rest assured, whatever you choose to do if the situation requires, you will most likely choose an approach that suits your own attitude to parenting.

There is no right or wrong though and eventually they will sleep :)

I'm wondering exactly the same as my little man (9.5 months) is getting a bit heavy to rock to sleep but when I lie down with him then he wakes up and thinks its playtime! I have to rock him completely to sleep before I put him to bed. I'm just not sure how to make the transition. I'm not wanting to do any sort of CIO or controlled crying as I find that too upsetting to hear him cry. x