End of tether

[endoftether2]

As my name suggests I am not coping. I read the sleep board for help but actually feel nothing but envy because at least most people are getting some sleep. I'm getting literally none and this is the third fucking child. What is it I'm doing so wrong!!!!

Just like dc before them dc3 seems to survive on cat naps without ever actually going down to sleep properly. So it's nearly four and we have had no sleep. None. This baby is only ten weeks old. What can I do? I partner to help me do that not an option and two others to take care of as well.

@costumebaby, sorry, thought I'd replied. My little boy was like that after the first week, but I realised later on that he was screaming because he was overtired. He didn't seem able to fall asleep easily. Most newborn babies around me seemed to be permanently asleep; mine was much more alert and needed help with sleep from an early age. Could your baby be overtired and crying because he needs more sleep? How is the feeding going? I found that my boy was trying to breastfeed whenever he was awake because he was desperate to suck so that he could settle himself back to sleep (I just thought he was greedy!). And things like reflux are always worth considering. Yes, all babies cry... but constant inconsolable xrtinf every waking moment isn't usual (in my humble opinion and very limited knowledge/experience!). My boy is now 3 months and is MUCH happier because he has enough daytime napping now. Hope things have improved anyway. Don't forget, your red book has numbers of who to call for advice.

Oh and expressing - there are mixed opinions on this. I had to express when he was born as he wouldn't latch due to a tongue tie but when that was cut he was fine. I think the general advice is to 'wait u til breastfeeding is well established' before introducing a bottle. That could be anything from 2 to 6 weeks I guess - but if your wife is coping fine with the feeding it a probably best and easiest for her to carry on. It is normal for newborn to want to feed round the clock! When he starts smiling in a few weeks all of this will feel worth it!

Surreygirl

We are into a sort of routine with feeds etc but it’s loose. He feeds a lot but I’m wondering if it’s because he’s small. 5.12lbs when born at 39 weeks. He still screams a lot when awake. Yesterday was on and off for 12 hours give or take. I do worry but we’re assured he’s fine. Expressing isn’t working for us at the moment but we’re hopeful it will change soon so I can help feeding.

We’re still only 18 days into the odyssey so early early early. It’s so hard to see your child screaming and not know why. All we want to do is help them...

I do appreciate the kind words you’ve given over the past week or so.

So glad things are good for you. Three months seems a lifetime for us at the moment but we’re on the road! M

3 months felt like a lifetime for me too back then. It was absolutely hellish and I struggled every day, every hour even! But it does fly by. Hang in there.

Surreygirl

We’re hanging! Finger tips...but we’re hanging.

@costumebaby feel for you, I really do. Have you/your wife tried a wrap sling ? It was a godsend with our DS when first born. You could put him in sling and take him for walk, hopefully he will sleep (so help with over tiredness) and give your wife a break. Once she recovered from birth she could do it too. Fresh air helps honestly. Doesn't have to be a fancy sling. Cheap stretchy wrap just fine!

Worstwitch

...alas our baby is too small for a sling...he’s too small for a lot of things we got for him. Honestly, he is dwarfed by everything. We spent a fortune on all the gadgets, pram, baby bjorne, basket...you name it, this kid is tiny. But totally proportional and healthy.

The plus side is...we’re going to get loads of use out of things that normally would be redundant after six months.

We do like a sling and our town has a sling library but baby isn’t quite compliant to be taken to town just yet. Next one is in feb so we’re hoping he’s a bit nicer and calmer to be in public.

Thanks for advice.

Wrap slings can be used from newborn you can get them v cheap and babies generally really love them as they are cuddled right up against you like in the womb. I really would give one a try!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/slings_and_backpacks_chat/1699744-Carrier-sling-for-a-tiny-baby This thread might be useful sorry dontknow how to do links

Second the advice that wrap slings can be used from newborn. I used one with my twins when one was only 4lb something. They love being carried around in them

Screaming for 12 hours a day doesn’t sound right though op. Are you sure he doesn’t have reflux? Has he been checked for it? My DT2 had terrible reflux and would scream for hours in a very similar fashion. Is he worse when feeding? Does he bring back milk a lot? Also if he does have reflux he will hate lying flat as he will be uncomfortable. I found my two slept much better with wedgehogs in their Moses baskets wedgehog.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI74uT3v3s3wIVz73tCh038QoKEAAYASAAEgJwoPD_BwE