13 month old has us on our knees

[MrsFoggy]

I'm hoping someone can tell me there is a perfectly good reason my son has turned into a complete pain in the arse...

He's been a pretty good sleeper, maybe waking once for a bottle (rarely) but mostly STTN for four or five months.

The last couple of weeks he's waking around 1am, having a bottle and then won't settle again for two or three hours. Eventually succumbing to sleep again on my side of the bed but not without a full battle, throwing himself around, laughing, playing, flipping back and forward and just as you think he's gone and start dozing yourself he does it all over again.

He's been walking since 10 months, no obvious signs of teeth (we had shits and giggles with a combination of first bottom molars and HF&M a couple of weeks ago).

He's happy enough, unless you try put him in his bed then it's something akin to the screams of the tortured from the depths of hell...

Any help or advice would be greatly received before I start snorting pro plus

This was the point we started sleep training. It was four nights max but felt like hell at the time. It paid divdends though.

Up until then id not minded giving a bottle but once that didnt guarantee a quick return to sleep I cut it out.

I added a bowl of porridge at bedtime so I knew it wasnt hunger waking them. Then I did cry it out. They stayed in their cot in their room. I went in at staggered times no eye contact no chat and just lay them down/patted on the back. Over and over and over. It rapidly reduced in length of time taken over the four days.

If you decide to go down this route pick a time that works for you all, no illnesses etc. And you and dh have to both be on board.

Sleep training. No bottle in the night. Nothing but expectation of sleep. He’ll kick up a fuss for a few hours and you need an iron will but done properly it’s takes 3-4 nights to teach them how to settle.
There is no psychological damage caused. Quite the opposite. Sleeping child and sleeping parents adds up to calmer, happier household.

We already sleep trained him at 10 months, because similarly he was waking three or four times a night, not settling with one of us spending 3am onwards on the sofa napping with him and it was breaking us. Maybe it's time for a retrain...

I'll try some porridge at bedtime, he tends to have dinner at 5:30 (takes half hour to finish) then bath at 6, cuddles, night garden, bottle and a story then bed for 7.

Sleep training at 13 months here too - it was the first time i’d felt confident that DD was waking out of habit rather than hunger.

However - also worth investigating the “wonder weeks” as i recall there was a 12/13 month developmental leap that leaves them unsettled for a bit before resolving itself, which might explain the change in pattern.

According to WW's we're coming into a sunshine phase...

grumbles about the highly inaccurate stupid WW that causes me anxiety but still I check it religiously app

Ah, sorry
In that case it’s definitely a bad case of sometimes-the-little-buggers-do-things-for-no-reason-at-all-that-are-hellish-for-their-poor-doting-parents, and you just have to plaster on a grin, reach for the extra-strength coffee and concentrate on the “this too shall pass” mantra of parents everywhere.

My DS had a couple of months night waking at the same age in much the same fashion... all was made clear when I realised it coincided with a massive language explosion... Is your DC talking / starting to talk? Might be worth considering

You could also try shifting the bedtime routine on half an hour making him a little more tired.

You also need to sometimes, just leave him for a bit whne you realise he's okay. To keep going to him whne there is nothing wrong will just encourage the behaviour more.

No, actually he's pretty much one of those lovely point and hiss like a goose kind of kids... he'll try copy me (quite clearly) when I say dog, cat, car etc but nothing independently.

I was solidly informed by the Mrs HV herself that he was rather behind on his communication at his 11 month review, which I completely ignored because at the time he was far too busy attempting to pickpocket her of her purse...

Maybe that's it then? He's preparing himself to give me a run for my money in the sassy "no" toddler department!

@MrsFoggy

Very possibly. Although DS (just turned 2) sleeps well enough (he still cosleeps though- I’m an utterly lazy parent and anything for an easy life) whenever his behaviour/mood generally takes a nosedive, it’s closely followed by a communication leap- he’s now speaking in sentences and sassing me round the clock- also an incredible mimic at the moment (abso-bloody-lutely , mimicked in a loud and crystal clear treble yesterday, in the middle of the railway museum, was a high point) ...

imagine the fizzing and popping that must be going on in those tiny, adorable, infuriating heads... if I’m kept up by thoughts of my tax return and unsent emails, I can only imagine what acquiring language is like.

I say this with compassion now. If you’d asked me a year ago my response would’ve been rather more colourful

@TheSheepofWallSt when I read communication skills I instantly had fear over my more colourful responses to this 3am nonsense

I'm now living in fear he may tell DH that "Mummy is a knobhead and he's going to sell me on eBay"

Time to curtail the insults, until they can be classed as character building

We went through a phase of this, it was torture but it did pass. We have never sleep trained so it wasn't anything I actively did that made it stop, it just passed of its own accord.

DS is now 2.5 and pretty regularly does 11-12 hours straight at night now that he's dropped his nap. He does still co-sleep a fair bit but, as pp, this is mainly due to my preference for the path of least resistance!

I know it doesn't help when you're in the thick of it but it is almost certainly a phase. You have my sympathy though, it's hideous while it lasts!

I'm sorry to say but this happens. As they get older, some, not all obvs, but some kids as they become more self aware go through these stages of sleep regression, and it can last for a few years on and off until they're older and can understand/can take themselves to the toilet at night etc. Do what you can to survive. He may be needing more nightly reassurance. It may be he just needs to be sleep trained (though that only worked for one of my kids). It may be he needs no day time naps, more food before bed, more exercise during the day (all things that didn't help with my oldest, but did with the youngest, not so much with middle one, but you try everything just in case, you know?). Sometimes it's just as the other poster said - their little brains are really started to process everything more and if they wake it's not as easy to get them back to sleep. My 4 year old for example went through a period (and is going through another period) of struggling to get to sleep. I remembered how classical music helped my oldest when he was a baby to settle, and lo and behold it just helps shut her mind off enough to help her drift back to sleep without her brain gearing up.

@Dimsumlosesum god don't say no naps he's already dropped his 2nd nap which just gave me a huge head, I'm looking forward to a couple of years with two hours of peace to get stuff done (watch real housewives and drink tea).

I'll try your suggestions, I do wonder if I need to get him out on a walk now rather than push him when I take the dogs out... he has two speeds 0 or 100mph, usually the latter so maybe chasing a terrier with ball sharing issues around a field might produce something beautiful overnight.

My oldest is literally like a puppy - needs an open field to just run and run and run and run. I make him walk everywhere now,though when he was younger he would never hold hands so it was literally open but fenced parks or fields. Took him for a 4 HOUR walk the other day- he was up 40 mins EARLIER at 4.50am! Wtf! Some kids have no rhyme nor reason lol.

Well... a wayward molar has turned up, and still flat refusal to go to bed. He's developed this blood curdling scream now, which just lovely

So far nothing has worked, even a return to sleep training, which I'm sure the neighbours are loving...

I gave in at 10pm last night and brought him into bed with us, he was out like a light until 7am. Argh

I'm hearing you Mrs Foggy. We are in the thick of it too. It's relentless. He has got 2 teeth coming and the end of a bug.....but he just seems to be awake. For hours. Every night. He's not unhappy. Milk doesn't help, so this suggests it's not hunger waking him! I'm at a loss. Even putting him in bed with us Is the same as you, tossing, turning, laughing, talking. Generally being a nuisance.

I'm scratching my head and hoping it passes, quickly. Tried him with some banana before bed and put a vest under his pj's, just to double check he's not hungry/cold. #clutchingatstraws

I'll watch the thread in case of miracle suggestion.

DS born Dec 15th. So nearly 13 months.