9 months and still not sleeping

[AWishYourHeartMakes]

My 9 month old DD needs resettling every 2 hours or even more sometimes. Only wakes for a minute or two and needs to be picked up and rocked or fed. It’s not a new thing (best she has ever down is 4.5 hour stretch) but it just doesn’t seem to be improving much. Early on reflux was a major issue so naps were in carrier or on me and I was often sitting up with her at night. Reflux is miles better now and she can nap in the pram (if it’s moving!) or on me. At night she is in her cot and then we manage with cosleeping from about 11pm.

After lots of helpful comments over Christmas I’m feeling wobbly in my confidence that I am doing the right thing in waiting for sleep to develop and my husband had lots of helpful conversations with people and wants to do CIO/CC. I wondered if anyone else has been in the same boat and when they saw an improvement or if they had to do CC in the end? Sorry for the long post!

Crying it out doesn’t work for all babies. It worked remarkably well for my first but my second and third are still up much of the night at 18m. They’re stubborn little things and so we stopped trying the controlled crying after 2 weeks of following the rules to the letter.

You know your baby better than anyone else. If you want to try controlled crying then do and if you don’t then don’t. It won’t harm her in the long term that she’s not sleeping through, it’s not as though she will be a 30 year old who still needs tucking in every 2 hours. She will figure it out eventually.

I co-slept with both my babies, still doing so with DS2 (31 months!!). DS1 slept through at five years old. Honestly OP, I never did leaving babies to cry, it will get better in time

When ds was 9 months and waking to feed 5/6 times sleep deprivation really kicked in. He had 1 bottle mid day while I was at work.
Sent dh in with bottle at first wake up. First night had an oz, so knew waking wasn't for milk. Second night dh took bottle of water. Ds had none and went straight back to sleep. Third night he slept 12 hours and has ever since. Now 4 and loves bedtime!!

Thank you both for replying and for the reassurance that it will get better eventually! Babies really are all so individual aren’t they. I might try a dummy and see if that will improve the linking of the cycles.

Awish, I have a 9 month old baby and could pretty much have written your post. My first two dcs slept through at 6 months or thereabouts but I stopped breast feeding dc1 at 6 months and we did controlled crying (the two things combined was pretty hideous and I felt quite low). The sleep deprivation is having a knock on effect to my older dcs because I am usually tired and irritable. I plan to stop bf at 12 months and we will probably have another attempt at controlled crying at this point. I think dc three is waking for comfort. We have also got into the habit of co-sleeping which makes me feel uneasy and results in a restless night. Intellectually, I know there will come an end point but it just feels relentless when you are in the midst of it and my life is a bit restricted because of it.

My sons sleep was probably at its worst at 9 months, then got better till he finally started sleeping through at 12 months. Now the 18 month sleep regression has hit and he is waking in the night again! Personally I would not consider controlled crying untill he is old enough to understand why I am ignoring him but each to their own. I think I am just trying to say hang in there, sleep is a rollercoaster!

Thanks for the input Lavendar and LivingDead. Glad to know I’m not the only one going through this! It’s amazing how you can survive on so little sleep for so long really.

8/9 months were the absolute pits for us, Dd was waking at least every 2 hours. We've continued to cosleep from first wake up and feed at every wake up if she wanted it and trusted that she'd work it out. At just over 12 months she is still not sleeping through but last night slept from 8 until 4.30, quick feed then back to sleep til 7. So just riding it out does seem to be working. I know cc or cio wasn't the right solution for us.