How to 'teach' 6.5 month old to self soothe back to sleep

[TheRhythmessCarolMan]

We have slightly longer stints occasionally but more often than not, DD wakes after 40-45 minutes, crying and needing to be resettled. The only way to encourage longer naps is to hold her while perched on the edge of my bed- kind of doing my back in.

We co sleep (would like to break this cycle but that's another story) and she usually sleeps approx. 7-10pm in cot but after that it's short bursts of sleep again.

I read that babies are able to resettle once they're 4 months. Another mum friend suggested they need to be 'taught'

Or do I just keep waiting?

You can’t teach a baby to self soothe I’m afraid. It’s a developmental stage that your baby will reach when they are ready www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/amp/

I would recommend The Gentle Sleep book by the same author. It’s very good😊

Im not convinced that you can teach self settling to a baby who isn't ready

Yes I did wonder when this other lady was telling me how we need to teach babies to be able to make it past their 40-minute sleep cycle/rhythm. I guess she must be doing cio, which I'm not prepared to do.

I've heard about a phenomenon where a baby might cry for 5 minutes 'in its sleep' and to not go tending to baby at the first little squeak.
I've never actually done this- every time DD wakes and cries if I don't go to her it erupts beyond the point of no return.

Follow your instincts op. If your baby needs you to go straight to her then go!

I’ve got 19 week old twins. DD sometimes cries in her sleep for a few minutes and then just stops. Whereas DS would just continue to get more upset if I didn’t go straight to him. I’m a great believer in doing what you think is right, not what others tell you to do.

Genuine question - Why don't you sit in a comfortable chair rather than perch on the bed if it's hurting your back? I'm in same position as you, constant waking from a co sleeping 6 month old, held for all naps, watching with interest but I think we just have to wait it out.

A nice comfy chair would be too sensible obviously 😂
I find the bed good to send her to sleep because I use the springiness of it to gently bounce. She doesn't fall asleep just being held without motion and I figure I'd rather use edge of bed rather than stand. I suppose I could transfer from bed to comfy chair... again, too sensible for us sleep deprived mums!!

"Follow your instincts". I'd love to. But my instincts are a bit shit, even though pre-baby I thought I'd have good maternal instincts. Also there's always a voice in my head telling me (while waving a pointed finger!) that I mustn't get into "bad habits". Like always feeding to sleep. I guess I'm worried that if I take the easier road now, it'll be super hard down the line to break certain habits.

I very much doubt your instincts are shit op. You’re just letting them be drowned out by the voices in your head,

Honestly, read The Gentle Sleep book. It’s amazing. This is what it’s author has to say regarding the myth of bad habits www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/08/26/lets-talk-about-bad-habits-and-baby-and-child-sleep/amp/

So what if you feed your baby to sleep? Do what you need to do. When your baby is older and weaned she won’t need to feed to sleep. You’re unlikely to be feeding her to sleep at 18 I’ve just BF both my twins to sleep and put them down to sleep in their Moses baskets. I used to try putting them down “drowsy but awake”’and in their case it doesn’t work. You need to do what you have to do to get by and save your sanity

Wow. Excellent article @Lipsticktraces

Just the first paragraph is inspiring. Thank you (will read the rest when I'm not off to bed...)

Good luck tonight everyone 🤞

You’re welcome op. Hope you find it useful

I also really enjoyed that article so thank you for posting lipsticktraces

OP I understand the need to bounce, I used an exercise ball for the gentle bouncing effect, then once she was asleep I move to the comfy chair or wherever. Terrible for the back though as you say so now I try to just rock her in a rocking chair and only bounce her as a last resort. But the good thing about the ball v the bed is you can do it anywhere and are not confined to the bedroom.

Good idea about the ball! I might have to invest in one of those as it might just save the springs on this side of the bed too.

No problem sleephelp I find her advice to be so reassuring. She’s brilliant