Absolutely any advice about sleep welcomed 7 month old

[SaltK]

Hi all. I'm at the end of my tether. My baby has never been a great sleeper. He only naps 30 mins in the day, I often have to hold him for these naps. Ebf, won't take a bottle, feeds to sleep otherwise it takes forever to get him down. He's chronically overtired, although usually quite pleasant until evenings. Wakes up again and again and again when trying to settle him at night, then every two hours. I have him in with me, makes no difference.

He's done longer stretches in the past, but it's stopped. He just wails until I put him on the boob.

I feel like I'm doing everything wrong but am desperate to get some sleep so just doing what's easiest. Have been up since 2am trying to settle him and then holding him. Should I sleep train? Is he ill - but he's fine in the day, so how could he be?

Haven't even got our Christmas tree up as this has taken over everything. Feeling so miserable and like I can't cope. Sorry for the awful thread at Christmas.

Have you spoken to your health visitor? Ours had a team of nursery nurses who would come to your house and give you practical advice on how to encourage better quality sleep. I don't know if that's the same everywhere, but it might be worth a try.

I really feel for you OP, my DS was a rubbish sleeper at about the same age and, while he did grow out of it by age 1, it was bloody tough going.

As a short term measure, can you arrange for him to spend a night at grandparents or similar just to give you a break?

Thank you Manchester, he's going to grandparents tonight because it's my birthday today, so they are giving me the gift of a night off. I feel so guilty, coz I know the baby will be upset without the boob, but I genuinely think I might lose my mind.

I'll get in touch with my health visitor and see what she says. She hasn't been great so far, but you never know.

Glad it ended for you. I keep thinking "this time next month", but it's got worse not better!!

I think you can work on his sleep, but the emergency measure is to find ways of getting some rest yourself - it is hard to call in favours from friends but most would be happy to take a baby for a couple of hours for you to lie down. Do you have a partner? We are so used to the idea that babies don’t sleep that I think people can miss when it’s just too much for a mother to cope with. I would take to gp to rule out any issues - I would guess if your HV is like mine she will suggest giving water in the night instead of milk - never worked for mine! 30 mins is a tiny day time nap, maybe focus on ideas for that rather than nighttime, though it sounds counterintuitive. I do feel for you OP

Just some solidarity here, in the same boat!

My DS is 7.5months, always been a bottle refuser but this week has finally took to a lanisoh bottle, it takes him a couple of hours to drink a couple of ounces but it’s progress, also is getting good with a basic free flow sippy cup, I am desperate to have one full night of sleep at some point soon, so once he’s got the hang of a bottle then my OH is going to deal with a night shift.

I'd say yeah, if it's impacting you like this, time to sleep train.

There are lots of techniques available, you could start gentle at first and see if that works. I would definitely focus on getting enough sleep any way you can for a few days to get enough mental energy to make a plan and stick to it.

Good advice up thread to talk to your HV and see what help is available, too.

Mine woke every 1.5 - 2 hours. Things that worked for us were:

1. Co-sleeping (I slept whilst DS fed, otherwise I would have gone insane).
2. We then used this sleep easy solution book to very slowly and very gently cut down on night-time bf, with DH doing everything at night bar the actual boob. Took ages (months in all), but there was measurable progress every night and it really was gentle.
3. Colleagues did cold turkey at night to wean off night-time bf, with only the DH looking after the baby at night (so that the baby didn't have to cope with being right next to a boob it wasn't allowed to feed from). It took them a week.

At 7 months, I'd recommend a free-flowing sippy cup rather than a bottle, as then he'd feel like he was in charge which could work better. Try a small sippy cup, as then they are lighter, especially as it will probably need to be really full to start off with whilst the baby learns to tip it.

Oh my god I could literally have written your post. My DD is the same. Wakes up every 5 mins or what seems to be, just to feed or be on the boob. Nothing else settles her either.

Sorry no advice but holding your hand as we ride through this phase together

Thank you for your advice, everyone. He takes a sippy cup and drinks well out of an open cup as well, but at night when he's half asleep those things don't work. But tbh, I don't think he's hungry, I think it's all just for comfort. He had three good meals a day as well as milk, although he's cut back on milk lately - I think because he's getting a lot through the night.

Think we are just going to have to bite the bullet and come up with an approach we think we can stick to. It's hard work! And DH hasn't done a lot of long hours in the night yet, so think that'll be a big shock to his system, but thanks to PPs who said their DH did nights to stop the baby from having to be near the boob - that's good advice.

Hope all of our LOs start sleeping better asap! I'm an absolute wreck!

I could have written this about a month ago (except my little one is FF). I was so sleep deprived he barely napped in the day and needed to be held and then bedtime took up to 2hrs to trying to settle him for him to wake every 2hrs in the night. I tried so many things but I reluctantly tried the controlled crying method and I mean very reluctantly but after 4 nights he has slept from 7-7 with only one night wake up in between usually around 5am and at this time I tend to cosleep for the last 2hrs or so, he now goes down to bed without crying and off to sleep. He's so much happier in the day (although still fights all naps so not much day sleep) and I feel we've got a bit of sanity back too. I know it's not for everyone and was certain it wasn't for me but if you've tried everything else it might be worth a try. Also worth having someone with you to do it so you have some support because it's not easy especially on the first second night (after that baby was asleep in less that 10mins nights 3&4) xx

I was in a same situation as you when my DD was the same age, honestly I embraced co sleeping and it saved me, all respect for people who can do sleep training but for me, she was too young , cried too much and I was too tired.
I got rid of the bed frame and just had a mattress on the floor, made the bedroom child proof, read all the safe co-sleeping tips and let her feed on me all night if she wanted, I could just stay asleep, she is three now and sleeps in her own bed just fine.
I wish you good luck with whatever you do because it is very hard!