Five month old has suddenly started refusing to sleep on his back

[Findingthingstough18]

Please help! My five month old has been placed to sleep on his back since birth, and while he's never been a great sleeper that's been fine. For a week now, he is just refusing to be laid down on his back to sleep. He happily plays on his back in the day so I don't think it's uncomfortable, he just doesn't want to sleep that way. We normally rock him to sleep and then lay him down and he wriggles a bit then settles to sleep. Now he screams bloody murder when laid down, no matter how asleep he was in arms. He stops crying instantly and goes to sleep if put on his side. It is sometimes then possible to ease him onto his back, but it takes four or five attempts before he doesn't wake up furious in the process, and he will then wake within a maximum of 40 minutes. We have tried leaving him on his side (please don't flame me) but eventually he falls back onto his back and wakes screaming - this takes anywhere between 10 minutes and an hour, so that is the longest stretch of sleep we get. Everyone is totally exhausted. In desperation at 5am this morning I put him on his front (again, please don't flame me) and he slept for two hours - but I just lay there listening to him breathe, terrified he'd stop, so I still didn't sleep! I just don't understand why he could sleep on his back ok-ish (he's woken every two/three hours since the four month sleep regression - he did six to eight hour stretches before that...) until a week ago but now it's such a problem. I just don't know what to do and am so desperate.

Please don't tell me to cosleep - I've tried it, repeatedly, and I just can't sleep, and when I do drift off I wake up in a panic that I've smothered the baby - I'd rather not sleep at all than wake up with that utter panic multiple times a night.

I suspect hell roll over soon and it's fine.

He can roll front to back but not back to front - but I'm also not sure he would even if he could, because he can roll himself to his side and he doesn't do that when he wakes up, he just screams. Though I'm not sure he's strong enough to stay on his side for long, I guess.

First of all the rocking to sleep, then putting baby down may be the issue. It is great when they are tiny and rocking them takes a short time to settle but as baby gets older and bigger you are not going to be able to rock them to sleep and baby will associate this as a sleep cue and demand the same treatment. Secondly if he is starting to roll then it will soon be impossible to keep him on his back at all. You are not going to stand over the cot to ensure he's on his back all night, every night. If he can roll from front to back and there is nothing in his cot to smother him (teddies, cot bumpers etc) then put him on his side. For what it is worth my second daughter was a tummy sleeper from as soon as she could roll over. She still is a tummy sleeper aged 7. I am presuming he insane the same room as you for the night anyway?

*in the same room - not insane! Although we all feel like that when we are sleep deprived.

Thank you for the advice. I agree that our bedtime routine isn't ideal - though I don't really know what else to do, since I think he's far too small for any kind of sleep training and he certainly isn't going to self settle without tears - and I think it's probably why he wakes up after 2/3 hours (which I'm prepared to live with), but surely not after 10 minutes? And we can't leave him on his side because he always falls back onto his back fairly soon afterwards, which wakes him up (furious) - any movement in his sleep and he loses his balance and goes backwards. We did try propping him with a rolled up muslin as I read that's what some people do - but I guess they do it for newborns because a rolled up muslin does not prop up 18 pounds of baby! I'd be ok(ish) with putting him on his side, but feel so anxious about leaving him on his tummy since he doesn't put himself there.

You said ‘we’ so I’m assuming there is an OH to help you.
Split the night up in to blocks so each adult is getting some quality sleep. Baby sleeps on his front next to the other adult who is awake and not in bed or comfy on sofa at risk of falling asleep (or in a sling if adult needs to get stuff done). Do this for a couple of nights so you are not completely exhausted then try putting him on his back again.

Yes, he's in our room, in a travel cot - he was in a next to me until this started, so initially we thought he just didn't have enough space (he does look like he's outgrown it really) and that that was the cause of the sudden problem but the extra space of the travel cot hasn't helped at all.

The block of sleep thing is an option - luckily DH is off work from today until January so it'll be possible for him (tougher on me as I'll still have to feed during my block, but then obviously that's been the case for months) - but do you not think if I let him get used to sleeping on his tummy he'll be even harder to get back on his back? I'm already worried that I might have given him a taste for it this morning!

Mine sleeps on his side too. He wakes often when on his back. I resigned myself to it since I have a sensor pad monitor and in I think New Zealand, they recommend babies sleep on their sides to prevent sids which made me feel a little calmer.

If he can roll over front to back and hold his head up well he should be able to adjust himself if he gets into any difficulty while he’s asleep on his front so I’d just let him sleep on his tummy. My daughter would only sleep on her tummy after she learnt to roll over and the health visitor said it was fine as she could move if she needed

So I have a 13 month old and a 2 month old, and if I’ve learnt anything over the last year it’s that when you reach the end of your tether, if you tag team to get some sleep by any safe means possible, after one or two nights either the problem will resolve itself or with greater mental bandwidth you’ll see a solution. Don’t worry about habits, once he starts rolling the other way everything changes again.

You can put him on his front if you like! He’s your baby and you’re the mother and it’s only a guideline!

What I mean is you can make your own decision about these things. Guidelines are very useful information but they are not legal requirements.

Personally I'd say at 5 months he may as well sleep on his front - he'll be rolling over by himself any day anyway. My sister was always stressed because DD would roll herself onto her tummy to sleep but I wasn't going to stay awake all night rolling her back every time.

Having said that, if he prefers his side, you can prop him up. We used to use carefully rolled muslins to support DS who didn't like sleeping on his back. Especially when he was a bit bigger and could wriggle around if he needed to.

At five months I wouldn't worry, he'll soon be rolling properly.

My dd slept on her side from birth, with a rolled up towel behind her back to keep her there.

When mine were born we were TOLD to put them on their fronts or sides from birth. I wouldn't worry if I were you - he obviously knows which way he finds most comfortable to sleep. So let him do it. Or give him the baby manual to read so he can get it right!

I wouldn’t worry as he’ll be able to roll from back to front anyway and you’ll be asleep and won’t know he’s done it. For peace of mind you could consider getting a baby breathing sensor mat so you would be alerted if he stopped breathing. I think the risk of SIDS also drops off around now but of course that doesn’t stop you worrying.

My DS slept on his front virtually from birth, wouldn't sleep on his back unless he was in his bouncy chair, I put him on his front in hospital after he nearly choked on mucus due to EMCS, he slept no trouble until the bloody midwives kept on turning him on his back, once I was in a private room I just moved the cot to the side away from the door & put him on his front, I hadn't had any sleep for 4 nights by then & was nearly hallucinating I was so tired.