CIO sleep training advice

[Swedemummy]

Long time forum reader, first time poster.

I have a 4 mo LO who was sleeping so terribly (

Sorry for sounding harsh and judgmental in my early hours post! It is a very emotive subject for me and I find it difficult to think about those kind of scenarios with young babies

My DD sleep trains her DS. Started at 14 weeks. He's now 21 weeks.

That’s abhorrent.

He's been in his own room since this started, with a camera and a movement sensor, so my DD doesn't disturb him.

Guess all that SIDS research was a waste of time, eh?

Guess all that SIDS research was a waste of time, eh?

Room sharing is shown to be a mild SIDS protective factor based on historic research and observations performed in 1990s or 2000s. However nowadays the country with the lowest SIDS level is Netherlands and more than 80% of Dutch babies sleep in their own rooms from birth.

As a result, not all countries adopt room sharing recommendations. UK and US do. Most continental Europe does not. SIDS stats across UK and - as an example - France are generally comparable so it is not 100% clear how much safer room sharing is as long as all other precautions (back sleeping, clear cot, etc) are followed.

Babies don't cry for the sake of it. Wanting to feel loved and safe is just as important a need as food!

You are being cruel and are setting him up for problems later in life. Some that might not appear until middle age. I'm sure some people will say their grown up child is fine as my dm would, however the destruction of the bond between you means your child wouldn't turn to you if there was a problem so you would never know.

He could be in pain, cold, hot, lonely, have a nightmare and be scared and you don't care.

Plonking a child into their cot at night and ignoring them is abusive, no matter how many stories you read to them before you do it.

My god, this is horrendous. That poor baby.

He is a BABY. My 11 month old doesn't even sleep 3.5 hours at a time ! His sleep sounds lovely.

What you are doing isn’t sleep training, you’re subjecting your baby to learned helplessness. He’ll stop crying eventually because he’ll realise it’s pointless and that you are never there to meet his needs. Absolutely awful, your poor baby.

I only have one ds, 9 weeks. However your baby's daytime sleep seems excessive at that age, maybe cut the 4-5pm nap? Also I would feed at 11pm to get a longer sstretch in the evening

@Alyosha the naps aren't excessive imo, my 5 month old has almost exact naps to the OP and I'm pretty sure that's the norm at that age, from everything I've read and everyone I've spoken to.
In my experience with my baby, if she doesn't nap enough in the day it leads to her being over tired and makes bedtime all the more difficult. This page I found really helpful when working out a good routine for my baby

www.babycentre.co.uk/a7645/how-much-sleep-does-your-baby-need

@Swedemummy
If anything, I'd feed at the 11.30pm wake up (or dream feed before your baby wakes, that's what I do) and you may find your baby cuts out the 1.30am wake up.

4 months old is way to young for CIO. Who’d want to cry themselves to sleep?

Meet your babies needs instead.

I don’t agree with CIO/sleep training, but even if I did four months is too young to be subjecting your baby to such methods. Waking every 3.5 hours at that age is totally normal. I have 19 week old twins and DS wakes around every 3 hours, breast feeds for five minutes, falls asleep and I pop him back in his cot. Please just go to your baby and attend to his needs when he cries in the night. Your his mother and he needs you!

Napping a lot at 4-5pm can mak it harder for then to go down at 7-8, could you cut that nap back to 15 mins/30 mins? Agree you dont want him to get overtired though. Ds is 9 weeks and is on 3.5 hrs of day time sleep, as recommmended by Gina F, he goes down at 7. 45 mins morning nap, 2hr 15 afternoon nap and 15-30 mins at 430 if he needs it. We wake him at 1030 for an evening feed, he then usually goes to 5/6am.

@Alyosha agreed, I wouldn't let my baby sleep at 4-5pm, I ensure she's awake by 4pm at latest for 6pm bedtime.
It's all trial and error, but I also wouldn't be restricting naps at a young age. If they sleep a little longer (growth spurt perhaps) I just put bed time back a bit